Like the title says, I am seriously wondering what the point of life is anymore. I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I guess Im just underwhelmed with life in general. I had a girlfriend for 3 years but that blew up and she's gone. I'm 28 and still live with my parents. I work contract work for Anheuser Busch at a whopping $15 an hour and that's with a degree in logistics. I used to find solace in friends, but they are never around anymore and I find myself not caring about my Transformers or any of my posessions at all. I am even considering selling all my toys because I just don't care anymore.

Has anyone gone through this? I'll take any advice I can get. I just wish life had more meaning than what it does right now...

 

You could start by updating your sales thread. Just kidding. I strongly recommend thinking twice before letting any of your possessions go.

You may not be suicidal, mate, but from the looks of things, I'd say you're bordering on depressed, if not already suffering from depression. Is there some kind of underlying problem that's plaguing you, which you haven't mentioned for whatever reason? If so, you need to get that out of the way before contemplating anything else. You can privately reach out to anyone here you're comfortable talking to, should you require advice.

If currently absent friends are what you previously sought solace in, perhaps it might be time to make some new, readily accessible ones (this may or may not encompass looking for a replacement girlfriend). Does living with your parents bother you? If so, consider moving out when the situation permits. And if your job doesn't feel fulfilling/rewarding, or if there's trouble at work, maybe you need to start looking for something better.

 

Sounds like a quarterlife crisis to me - which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Maybe just time to re-evaluate what makes you happy in life, and pursue a career in that field. Or just volunteer some of your time doing charity work. It sounds corny, but sometimes to get out of a rut, you gotta push yourself to make moves.

Oh yeah, the girlfriend/significant other thing always works out in the end, it just seems to be so hard in the moment. Having kids also tends to change your outlook, because it's less about you and more about them.

 

If it somehow makes you feel any better, your only a year older then me and at least have a job and have had a long term relationship before, so uh, yeah.

Maybe you just need to find something new to be interested in, heck if i know what.

This isn't helping is it?

 

Went through very similar situation at your age (minus the $15/hr job, I was strictly minimum wage until a few years ago). I did sell all my toys, started drinking (I'd been straight edge up until then) and dating random girls. I ended up getting married, getting sober again, and collecting toys again after a few years. Some of it I regret (drinking and toy selling), but you probably just really need a "change of scenery" so to say. Try some new things, meet some new people. If the ill feelings persist go see a therapist. Sometimes its all it takes.

 

Just think about what you really want to do and go for it. If you want to get rid of your toys, so be it they are yours to decide. If you feel like meeting new people, join your local community and do some charity work. Nothing feels better than helping people and making friends in the process. If you want some new hobbies or interests to make you forget about your EX do that too. It looks like you need a focus right now in your life to put things in order so just take a bit of time to think things through, then follow your heart. Good luck.

 

To spare a page long post, I will say events in my life have left me in that predicament as well. Considering the many times of having the floor dropped under me and fighting my way back up just to be kicked down in the 15 years since HS has culminated in almost dying, and spending 6 years on dialysis. Which, in the grand scheme, isn't as bad as could be, but still is more than a little scarring on mind and body, has left me in a place where even after the great gift of a transplant last July, I am once again faced with the next fight up the ladder and I am not sure I have it in me anymore...... But, deep down inside I still know when the time arrives, the strength and path will present itself if you just have faith 

 

The point is, as I see it up too this point in my life (I'm 20 years of age now soon to be 21) is to live life to the fullest! I just moved to a new area from home these last couple weeks. Anaheim, CA. I'm a Norcal kid deep down and I'm completely new to the area but I got a small group of friends that is slowly growing larger.

Before I moved out here though I sounded alot like you sounded, I even pondered selling a lot of my collection, but I didn't. When i moved it gave me such a rush of excitement, like I was doing something crazy and reckless, but also fun. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it!

Now I'm not saying pick up and move away, but maybe try exploring for a while. Go traveling, take a few weeks off and just go somewhere, I mean, who's stopping you? Visit some of the other TFW members while your in their areas. Visit a new place.   Life's an adventure waiting to happen sometimes you just gotta step out that door and live! And maybe even not that far from home. Maybe even just volunteer work or a walk in the park. Go somplace close by that you don't normally visit and check it out. Go on an adventure and explore some of those small hole in the wall places. Sometimes it could be super fun!

That's my two cents anyway. But what do I know, I'm just a kid  

 

Matrixprime: I have been where you are. It is awful and I don't want to repeat the experience. Do yourself a favor though, before you make any decisions about pretty much anything do some volunteer work. Even if it is just a few hours for one day. Hell, take a day off from work and do it. Putting another's needs before your own will do wonders for your state of mind, trust me. Don't think about your own problems, just focus on helping others for a while. Then step back and re-evaluate. If you still feel the same, maybe it is time for some new direction in your life. Life is certainly worth living and it does have a purpose, but you need to discover that purpose for yourself. No one can tell you what it is. The best of luck to you.

 

You've said what you have and what you're doing, but the one thing missing from this post is what you WANT, and I think that's your problem right there.

 

^ Yeah. Your motivation should be what you want. Why do you work? To have something to do or are you making money towards something? What is that something? Do you want to have your own family one day? Your own house? There must be something you want, right?

The point of life by a biological stand point is to reproduce. That's the short end of it. We are programmed to eat, survive/fight, and reproduce. Think about the cicada that lives only for the summer. Crawls out of it's shell --> finds a mate ---> mates ---> lays eggs ---> dies. Though not all of us get to mate before we die, just like the bug. That's life.

 

You have a good job with a promising career and, assuming since they let you live there, nice parents. Many people have it MUCH worse.

 

Thanks for all of the support guys! I guess I'm just not happy with where I am at in my life. I figured but this time, Hell at least by 30, I would be moved out into my own place, married, and having kids. It just isn't the case and because of that I feel like a loser. There are things that I want for myself and quite frankly I just dont see them ever happening...

I want to move out of my parents house. I really don't mind living at home rent free, it just makes me feel like a leech and a loser for not getting out and becoming more self sufficient. That being said with my credit card debt, car payment, and cell phone bill, there is just no way I could afford to move out without a room mate and since my friends are all moved out on their own that idea is out of the question.

I want a better job, and I think I have one. AB has been great and I went in, knowing fully that it was contract work. However, I interviewed a few weeks back for a salary position and missed it. Apparently just slightly. There may be a few more open positions coming and there may not be. I guess I have to determine whether or not I want to stay making $15 an hour on the chance of maybe.

I want someone to spend my time with. I used to have that, up until a year ago. I honestly thought I would marry this girl, but that didn't happen. It has been a constant source of misery and frustration. She recently contacted me to start talking again and told me she still loved me, but she was in a relationship and wouldn't walk out on that for me. Which makes me feel like what she said wasn't real at all, and just continues to add to how much of a loser I am. I fell into that relationship and while it wasn't perfect that's the closest I've ever had to a true relationship ever. She was literally the second long term relationship I've ever had and literally the second woman I've ever dated in my life.

I don't get out much, I don't have wingmen because my friends are all attached and moved out, so I ask what the point is anymore. Why should I dream when there is no way it will ever come true? I just find it harder and harder to care about getting up anymore.

 

I think the first step to finding the meaning of life is to understand how essentially useless and meaningless you, this planet, and everything that has ever been on it is in the grand scheme of things. And how that can translate into a relaxed attitude towards life, the universe and everything.

Compared to the size of the earth a single human is an invisible speck, compared to the sun, the earth is just a speck, compared to the size of the solar system the sun is just another pinprick of light among the billions visible, compared to the size of a galaxy our solar system is a mote of dust whirling in a vast cosmic cloud.

There are more galaxies in the universe than there are people on this planet, each one with hundreds of billions of stars.

If you made a timeline of the universe where 100yards = 14billion years, the length that would denote the entire span of human existence could be covered by a single human hair.

What I am trying to illustrate, is that nothing you ever do or say will ever matter to anyone or anything except you and the other people you choose to have existing around you.

Some might say this is a pretty bleak way to view existence, but they are missing the awe-inspiring part. Out of all the matter in the universe the percentage that is aware it exists is infinitesimal. IMO this is the first, best reason TO exist just to bear witness to a single blink of cosmic time. All you have to do is live and die, everything else is optional, but what a ride.  


I'll leave you with a quote and some mood music.

YouTube - Symphony of Science - 'Our Place in the Cosmos' (ft. Sagan, Dawkins, Kaku, Jastrow)

YouTube - Symphony of Science - 'We Are All Connected' (ft. Sagan, Feynman, deGrasse Tyson & Bill Nye)

 

Well.... just from reading your posts, i've got a couple of suggestions.

1. MOVE OUT!! Good lord man, your 28 years old with a college degree! Get the F out of your parents house. No wonder why you feel worthless, having nice folks is great but its time to spread your wings and fly!

2. Get over the GF problem, she just wasn't the one for you. I'm not sure why you guys broke up but its over now. Having been in your situation, I can relate... Just stay strong, its not the end of the world .

3. Make new friends and break out of your depression shell.

 

I have to agree with what TJ Duckett said. You have nice parents, what I consider to be a pretty reasonable job. But the one thing your missing is your drive.
Why do you work at Busch?
Why haven't you moved out yet?
What's preventing you from getting a girlfriend?
About the girlfriend thing, don't try and get girls to like you. Just go nice and slow.

 

You'll get over that in time. Took me over a year to get over mine, but it happened and damn, I feel so much better - like my old self again. If something isn't ment to be, then it's just not ment to be.

So what? This whole idea that some people have that you HAVE TO be out on your own by a certain age is ridiculous. Yeah, it'd be great to be able to move out, but if your finances can't handle it and the places you can afford are in shitty neighborhoods, there's not much point. Oh yeah, plus the economy is crap. Seriously, a lot of people would do well to consolidate their bills, suck it up and, regroup as a family and move back with parents to help them and to save money.

You got a job in an unstable economy, plus you make $2.50 more than me. $15 bucks an hour....man, I'd love that. I've been stuck at $12.50 for 4yrs. All I can say to this is save as much as you can. Pay off whatever bills/loans you have so you can start saving/making money to invest in your future.

Don't rely on outside sources as a means to regulate how you feel about yourself. The only person you can rely on 100% is you. Concentrate on you, who you are, and what your place is in this world. Also, I highly recomend reading Musashi's The Book of the Five Rings. I have 3 translations of it - 1 .for doing business. 2. for the martial artist. 3. a standard translation.

I've boxed many of mine...but selling/giving away certain things has a way of clearing one's mind of clutter. You can go either way and it will still be OK. Maybe just box them up for now to get them out of sight, and then decide later if you want to keep them or not.

Yes. I went through this all last year, to the point where I did have thoughts of ending it all. Don't let it get to that point. Go see a doctor and talk with them - a good one can advise you on where to go to talk to people. Also, go out and do positive things that require no money - a walk, a hike, a drive while blasting music, and look around. Fill your mind up with positive things and concentrate on positive things around you. Things won't get better overnight - it takes time and hard work - but things DO get better.

It's all a state of mind.

 

 

I've been there man, I really have. One thing I think you should consider doing is removing yourself a little bit from what's happened and try to see everyone's side of things. The girl left you, and that hurts a lot. But I can tell from your post that right now, you're very much in your own headspace, viewing life as your personal saga. That tends to poison a man's thinking. Step back and try to look at the big picture, and try to forgive her and just let it go. She has her own personal journey too, and the part of it that included you has come to an end. Try to see it from the point of view of a wise observer. I know that's hard, but it's the more honest, less destructive way of viewing things. Apply the same thing to your friends - they don't seem to be around anymore, but this is not a personal slight against you. At their age, they have a lot of things going on. Forgive them, try to connect with them as much as possible because life is short and friends too few.

As for what's next, I'd take baby steps. Go out and do some different things. Think of one thing you've always wanted to try and give it a shot. The small things will lead to bigger things, and before you know it, you'll be back on top.

 

All the time friend. It happens around your age (I'm 32 now). At least you're smart enough to realize that whatever you have been doing thus far ain't cutting it for you.

I picked up a bible and started reading. The writer of this book here felt the same way at the end of his life. One of the richest and wisest man who ever lived. Hang in there!!

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-- " Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Honestly dude, you're equating happiness to "stuff", and I don't think that's a good route. I'll give you some personal examples:

My job, from check to check, I make more than $15 an hour yea, but, my happiness with it comes from the environment, what I do, and the overall feeling of being "ok" with going to work everyday.

I have a girlfriend. We are all shacked up, and yea, I'm looking to make it legit and marry the chick in the next few years - But, at the same time, there are times where she pisses me off so much that if she was a grown man I would've tossed her through a window. And, that's just being honest.

Everything and every situation has it's ups and downs man. As long as your happy and realizing the positives of your situation, then you should be able to find happiness.

If you want to move out of your parent's house, then move out. Even with bills, just liek MOST adults have, $15/hr full time is definitely something that you can do fine with as long as you budget appropriately, and that's the thing. Sometimes to have what you want, you have to do without. I don't know where your money goes (and don't care), but whether it's transformers, or cocaine that you like to spend the remainder of your money on, if moving out is a priority, you're going to have to tone it down to do it. You'll live according to your means and HAVE to be ok with it. Because, if you use the crutch of "I have a car payment, cell phone, etc. etc." as a crutch, you'll live at home until you're old and gray.

And, I'm sure that there are many people on this board with the same kinds of bills as you making less and making it work. And I'm sure some of those members even have things liek kids.

As for the girlfriend problem, you're going to have to find a way to meet people. Join a gym, or join Match.com - It doesn't matter. It ain't gonna happen on tfw though, and that's the truth.

And, I'm not trying to come off harsh, but from reading your posts it seems like you have what it takes to be happy, you're jsut choosing not to.