You all know who I work for. This is an example of an email we get. It was answered by a buddy of mine.


name and account edited to protect the ******ed

First == dumb
Last == customer
Acct == 5632547653686363625466954654672569154625
User_description == hi hainet so i need to know how to make to control how
many time i wait in my phone cuz i need to know think you




Just WOW!

 

.. wow... WINNER!
*passes the "please do not procreate" sign to the customer.

 

For the record, do you speak fluent English?

srsly idk wtf tat dud is sayin

 

Holy Crap> Wow> Kronos You Have Strong Shoulders To Hold This On>

 

Haha, seriously, why do English speaking people pervert their language, that's pretty eff'ed up right there!

 

It boggles my mind. I love my job, especially during times like these.

 

You may think this a travesty

But take a closer look

If deciphered, the message contains many hidden messages about the universe and the meaning of life in general. I won't spoil it for you, but really concentrate on the words...oh yes, it's a fucking goldmine of knowledge

 

"I invite you to do your own research"

 

yeah people are morons. used to do tech support until i got sick. the only thing worse than the idiot customers was the overbearing management breathing down our necks and spying on us at every given opportunity. it was ok when i started at the place but it got to the point of absolute ridiculous where i was basically forced to go on sick leave or be fired.

 

  Kronos I feel bad for you

 

While that's bad, being in tech support myself, I've seen and heard much much worse.

 

Thats an everyday thing for me.

Me:"What version of Windows are you running?"
Customer: "Internet Explorer" or "Dell"

Hell, I had a guy the other night, said he disconnected his cable modem completely, wanted to know why he still had icons on his screen.

 

I talked to a guy one night, that was getting porn redirects. Best part, was that his last name was Queer. He started reading me the URL's. ww.assblaster......  

Thank god for the mute button!

 

a former colleague of mine was on a call and the conversation went kinda like this

Colleague : Sir, please close all the windows
Customer : ok. *Silence*
2 minutes later

Customer : ok, i closed all the windows in my house, now what?

 

Me: I need you to press the Start button
Customer: Alright, I pressed it and my screen went dark.
Me: Um. Okay sir, I don't think that was exactly the "start" button I had in mind. Could you turn your computer back on please?

 

I hate the ones that when you tell them to "right click" on something, they constantly ask "right or left?" each time you tell them to click on something after that first one.

 

This thread is a gold mine!

 

I get allot of people that think their modem is a router. or i ask them to make a test call and they say no dial tone, only to say that the phone is unplugged.

 

Yeah, when someone tells me that they have a router, I ask for the name brand on the box. Or they tell me that they don't have a router, I check the IP, and then they say "well, I have that wireless box".