Why can so many people simply not say a simple 'hello'?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Hand Of Omega, Jan 7, 2010.

  1. Hand Of Omega

    Hand Of Omega Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2009
    Posts:
    1,102
    Trophy Points:
    126
    Likes:
    +0
    I was out yesterday and this statement really milled around my head all day.
    I leave my apartment and say 'Good morning' or 'Hello' and people just look at me for a second or ignore me, I'm in the shops and I get served with 'Yeh?' - WTF is 'Yeh'? :sly2: 
    Then I will see people I know, either from being customers where I work or live near me and say, "hey, how are you?" and get a subtle wave of dismissal with a forced smile.
    Its not like its a recent trend and its certainly nothing new to anyone, but its just annoying. It can't be a 'generation' thing - "oh, young/old people today" - as its people of all ages and types.
    Anyone else wonder about this? Is it a trust thing? Are people too private or cautious? I have no idea.
    It would just be nice to get a "Hello! How are you?...Great, see you around" instead of nothing at all - heck a simple 'Hi' would do. :rolleyes: 
     
  2. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2004
    Posts:
    20,316
    Trophy Points:
    322
    Likes:
    +80
    Maybe you're one of those too friendly assholes that everyone finds annoying?

    No, kidding. People have moods. Not everyone wants to greet every person that says hello to them. This is due in part of modernization and urbanization. Every man is own island unto themselves. There is no simple answer cause we can get into details of every person that chooses not to say hello.
     
  3. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2004
    Posts:
    28,751
    Trophy Points:
    322
    Likes:
    +4
    You forgot to say 'Hello' at the beginning of your thread.
    You can just walk up to strangers and start venting without saying hi first like that lulz


    Nah, I know what you mean, some people don't even make eye contact.
    Can't judge them though, someone may have just got out of prison, or are having a bad day. It does feel good though when strangers say hello, makes the town feel cozier.

    Kids usually don't say anyting, you're lucky if you get a head nod from them
     
  4. Matty

    Matty @StayingInTheBox Moderator News Staff

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2009
    Posts:
    14,565
    News Credits:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    222
    Likes:
    +46
    Dude...people are jackasses. Seriously. If someone says what's up to me, I'll say hello back. I'm with ya.
     
  5. SpencimusPrime

    SpencimusPrime _

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2009
    Posts:
    1,704
    News Credits:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    126
    Likes:
    +5
    Damn. I say hello to random people, nothin. Hold doors open, nothin. Manners are nonexistant.
     
  6. Scantron

    Scantron Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Posts:
    8,249
    News Credits:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    211
    Likes:
    +3
    Speaking for myself, it always strikes me as very odd when someone I don't know says 'hello' to me in public (outside of a retail transaction); especially because I go out of my way to avoid eye contact with people. I'm reluctant to say hello, even if they seem friendly, because it's hard to tell whether they're just saying 'hi' to be friendly, or whether my acknowledgement of their existence means I'm going to be regaled with requests for change or stories about [religious icon]. Even with people I know, if I'm just passing them in the hall or on the street or something quick, I'll usually just nod or smile or wave, since I hate talking.

    As far as "hello, how are you?", beyond the fact it's become a robotic retail greeting, I've always found it to be somewhat ingenuine, unless the person is a relatively close acquiantance. Do most people saying "hello, how are you?" really want to know how I am ("my credit card number just got stolen and my knee hurts"), or do they just want a pat "good/great/fine/orgasmic" that doesn't take up any of their time or mental effort?
     
  7. Spartan-117

    Spartan-117 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2003
    Posts:
    1,813
    Trophy Points:
    161
    Likes:
    +0
    It depends on your life experience I guess. Some random girl started talking to me when I was wandering around the mall at Botcon in Rhode Island, which rather freaked me out. Not because I'm necessarily rude or unfriendly but in my experience a stranger starting a conversation out of the blue is normally a prelude to getting stabbed/chibbed.
    Maybe folks you say hello to are similarly wary.
     
  8. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2006
    Posts:
    26,861
    Trophy Points:
    352
    Location:
    Michigan
    Likes:
    +97
    I'm pretty much like Scantron where I usually avoid eye contact with people, but if people greet me I respond with either a "hi" or a wave or a nod of the head... it just depends on my mood.

    Today I went to buy my textbooks for classes that start next week, and no sooner I approach the textbook section in the campus bookstore, I was greeted by an employee with a polite "Hi, can I help you?"

    I guess it just depends on people in how they respond to others who greet them.
     
  9. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2004
    Posts:
    20,316
    Trophy Points:
    322
    Likes:
    +80
    Why I pretty much wear headphones whenever I'm shopping or on campus. If a person sees that they can't hear you, then won't say anything to you.
     
  10. Dran0n

    Dran0n Junk male

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Posts:
    13,285
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    217
    Location:
    Cygnus X-1 (ya bish)
    Likes:
    +6
    I do the same! Least most people say 'Thank you' or 'thanks' when I hold the door for them.
     
  11. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2008
    Posts:
    7,925
    Trophy Points:
    176
    Likes:
    +0
    Because you touch yourself at night.
     
  12. Scantron

    Scantron Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Posts:
    8,249
    News Credits:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    211
    Likes:
    +3
    Usually. Unless I'm riding my bicycle, I wear headphones all the time when I'm walking around in public and I've still had people say "hello" or ask me for the time or for directions or whatever...and then get offended when I either don't hear them or ignore them.
     
  13. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2006
    Posts:
    26,861
    Trophy Points:
    352
    Location:
    Michigan
    Likes:
    +97

    Same here. When I'm on campus, getting ready to walk into a building, I usually check to see if there's anyone behind me so that I can hold the door open for them, even more so if they have their hands full. Most of the time people say "thanks."

    Nice to know that there are some people out there who still have manners.
     
  14. bny888

    bny888 バグバイト

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Posts:
    6,548
    News Credits:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    176
    Likes:
    +24
    Based on my experience, saying hello, holding doors/elevator doors are generally not appreciated by majority of people. Like when I hold the door for ladies, many times I get nasty, suspicious stares. I guess it's because few people do these things nowadays.

    One time, a woman left her mobile phone on top of an atm (I was next in line), and I went after her to give it back, she said "Thank you." But she said it angrily, as if I was bothering her.
     
  15. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2008
    Posts:
    8,557
    Trophy Points:
    191
    Likes:
    +0
    Eh, same thing happens to me. You get use to it.
     
  16. comaface

    comaface Crush, kill, destroy

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Posts:
    736
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    I think maybe it might be more of a population density thing.
    The city I've lived in for pretty much all my life has something of a reputation, in the less dense outlying areas around it, for breeding supposedly rude people who "don't say hi, don't smile at you, don't look at you". I'm willing to bet that other large cities foster the same opinions amongst the denizens of the smaller towns around them.

    But speaking from my own experience, this is something of a necessity. When you're surrounded by a few million people, you find ways to 'be alone' even when you're not actually alone. It's antisocial in a literal sense, but not borne of misanthropy or rudeness or fear, I would say. I think a lot of people need their own personal space, even if it's just in a figurative sense: sometimes that's the best you can do.
    That's my batshit theory, anyway.

    All I know is that when I moved to a small town for school for a few years, I was genuinely freaked out by all the people who I'd never met before staring at me, smiling at me, saying 'hi', randomly starting conversations... it was just alien to me. I was not used to these things coming from people I don't know because, well, they're people I don't know. I'm sure some of them found my reactions, which were similar to those of the people described by the OP, to be rude or cold or unusual or whatever, too, when I really just found it weird. Still do, actually. Overly-friendly weirdos.
     
  17. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2006
    Posts:
    26,861
    Trophy Points:
    352
    Location:
    Michigan
    Likes:
    +97
    People living in small communities tend to be down-to-earth friendly people compared to people living in large urban areas.
     
  18. Mechafire

    Mechafire Veteran TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Posts:
    24,150
    News Credits:
    30
    Trophy Points:
    291
    Likes:
    +33
    Meh. I usually say "Hey!" to people, but whatevs.
     
  19. process

    process Hanlon's razor Veteran TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Posts:
    7,736
    News Credits:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    272
    Likes:
    +167
    Ebay:
    I have to agree with this. When your senses are constantly being bombarded by the mere presence of thousands of people every day, the mind becomes detached and insular as a reactionary measure.
     
  20. Deceptikitty

    Deceptikitty all about the hasubandos

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Posts:
    4,163
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +0
    I always smile at people I pass by, I get smiles back usually. Then again I'm one of the people who will ask the person at the drive-thru how their day was going and get a surprised response that I showed interest. I like being friendly, it makes you feel good :D 
     

Share This Page