What would you have done? Re: Dining with a group of friends.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Team Jetfire, Jan 31, 2010.

  1. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Ok, let me set this up for you.

    My Wife and I join 4 other couples out for dinner at nice old fashion Italian restaurant last night. Knowing it is an expensive place and being on a budget in general, we rarely order anything too expensive and aren't too adventurous, but some of the couples that we were with were really living it up, multiple drinks, appetizers, expensive entires and extra deserts for home, but whatever; to each their own as it is their own money and they can afford to eat like that.

    But here is the rub, when the bill comes somebody pipes up and announces that it is too hard to split up what each couple owes and suggests that we all just split it 5 ways. (as it is an old restaurant, they can't give us separate bills either) Doing some quick addition is my head, it is pretty clear that we are getting screwed, but not wanting to be that guy I don't want to say anything and begrudgingly pay our share. Not to say I didn't have a good time and that the meal wasn't worth it, I just come away with the sour feeling that I paid for someone else's good time; someone who could have easily afforded it. I guess the saving grace was that the one couple who clearly should have paid more did fight the whole splitting the bill bit knowing that they ordered more then everyone else, but for some reason we (as a group) said it was fine.

    Now what would have you done?
     
  2. Jarodimus

    Jarodimus the guy with that scan Veteran TFW2005 Supporter

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    I think I would've had to be "that guy", regardless of whether we'd ordered much less or much more than the other couples involved.

    And I find the whole "we can't split checks" thing ridiculous. Do you seat and serve parties of one or two? OK, then you can do it. Just flip to the next page in that little notepad.
     
  3. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    I never split the bill unless it's been agreed in advance. I don't see any problem with saying "I can only afford to pay for what I ordered."
     
  4. KnightSaberAmi

    KnightSaberAmi Nyan Nyan

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    See I have run into this in the past where I would volunteer to go on a food run to Mc Donalds. It go so bad that I had to start writing down how much people gave me, what their change was, b/c in the end I didn't have enough money and their breakfast was coming out of my pocket. So after a few trips and people not getting their food it stopped. It wasn't fair to do that esp. when I was on a budget but it was my fault for not speaking up.

    I would have paid for what me and mine ordered, covered the tax, and added a few bucks for the tip. Esp. if we are on a budget

    Hope it helps!
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2010
  5. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    I guess it really depends on the group of friends. The people whom we were dinning with tend to think that everyone is of a same pay scale and me to suggest that we couldn't afford to pay extra would be the equivalent of saying that we were cheap and/or poor, (which could be the case, but still hard to admit to a group of peers...)
     
  6. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    Then you need to decide whether pride or money means more to you. I know it's a cliche, but friends shouldn't think less of you because you don't have as much money as they do.
     
  7. Grimlock_13

    Grimlock_13 Reformed Geewunner

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    I'd definitely have spoken up. If they're really friends they should understand maybe you weren't in a position to pay that much. Besides I think it's a completey shitty thing to split the check when a bunch of alcohol has been ordered. Not everyone drinks the same amount, so why should I pay for someone else to drink?
     
  8. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Pride is a funny thing like that, makes people do odd things.

    I guess I use the term friends very loosly, My wife is very close to one of the couples and the others are just associates. My Good friends would never pull this one in a resturant. Maybe that is why it is harder to speak up about it; beacause I don't know these people very well.
     
  9. Motor_Master

    Motor_Master Lets the balls touch TFW2005 Supporter

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    It shouldn't be a matter of being seen as cheap it's about what's fair. How fair is it to be screwed over by people you hardly know and may never see again?

    To me it sounds like the jackass who suggested this option saw the bill, how much he spent and needed a way out of paying his full share. Or he failed basic math and didn't want to let anyone know.

    Personally I have no qualms about asking to see the bill adding up what me and the misses owes and leaving it on the table. Its not that I'm cheap, it's that I'm not going to help pay for someones steak when I had a hamburger.
     
  10. Gingerchris

    Gingerchris Telly-headed Tyrant

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    Personally I'd have spoken up.

    Next time you all go to that place again order shitloads of food and booze, far more than the others, and then make them split the bill. Make the splitting system work for you. :) 
     
  11. Goaliebot

    Goaliebot All Makes and Models

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    Tough one. I *want* to say I would have stood my ground and only paid for ours, but I know that in reality I'd have swallowed the cost to save face too.

    And for ever more I'd avoid eating out with those folks at any place that won't do separate bills. So if they always pick the place and tend to pick old-timey places like that... I'd avoid eating out with them completely.
     
  12. Gingerchris

    Gingerchris Telly-headed Tyrant

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    Bring a packed lunch instead.
     
  13. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 "No Mas" My Wallet

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    over all you handled it well, but I would have been against splitting the bill as opposed to separate checks unless it was agreed to in advance.

    Props to the one couple who wanted to do the right thing

    From now on if you do this sort of thing decide how to pay in advance and it will say all involved a situation like this in advance.
     
  14. megatronkicksas

    megatronkicksas Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I would have been that guy.
     
  15. ninety

    ninety NERDS!!

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    I've run a few restaurants, saw this all the time.

    Boils down to two choices: Say something, pay the right amount, maybe lose a little face. Or, don't say anything, pay too much, and let pride cost you.

    Depends on what your priorities are, saving money or saving face.

    Personally, I'd have said something. I was out for dinner on Fri night with a group of friends who all earn significantly more than me (mainly lawyers, two of them earn at least four to five times the rest of us), and wondered if a similar situation would arise, it didn't, but when it has in the past, they've understood.

    If you didn't know the people involved very well, why does what they think of you matter?
     
  16. Optimus-JD

    Optimus-JD Team Laser Explosion!

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    Yeah, I would have called Balls on that. Especially after trying to be conservative in what you ordered while everyone else went hogg wild. Screw that, and if they had a problem with it, no biggie, just no more dinners with them.
     
  17. Optimus1986

    Optimus1986 TMNT & Hulk Fanatic

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    I probably would have done exactly what you did.
     
  18. jorod74

    jorod74 Psycholagnist (Ret.)

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    Why worry about being that guy when they became those people...
    they didn't care about you or your situation.

    and honestly, the cash register has a keypad for a reason- to do +, -, X, and /, for pete's sake.
    You just walk over to the cashier and point out what you had, she adds up that with sales tax and you split- as in leave them with the rest of the check.

    if they rag you about it, tell them they were rude to spring a costly surprise.

    I got conned into paying for stuff with money i didn't really have like that before and i had to be the guy to stop it.
    Like i knew a guy who would see me and know that i was headed out for dinner. he'd ask for a ride to pick something up, too. i didn't mind. but when he had to pay for his dinner... "aw, man, I am about 5 bucks short." or "i left my wallet somewhere."


    when i make plans, plans are the things i PLAN to do and nothing more. You planned on a budget and that's where dinner should have ended.

    you have to be THAT guy sometimes. as pimps and drug dealers will say, "it is the principle of the thing, man."
     
  19. Aaron

    Aaron Master of Crystalocution Moderator Content Contributor

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    I would have probably spoken up and split it out per couple/person. The only reason I wouldn't if if the table ordered a pizza or something like that where one food order covered more than one couple/person.
     
  20. Razerwire

    Razerwire 99 Problems... Super Mod

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    My brother in law is one of those people who wants to split the bill evenly since it's just easier.

    I personally hate it because my wife and I don't drink and usually alcohol makes up a large percentage of the bill.

    Luckily my friends know that we don't drink and therefore know that splitting the bill evenly would be unfair.

    If it does come down to the fact that the bill is split evenly, those who know they spent more usually compensate us back on the side so it's all squared away.

    But yeah, if the person announcing that the bill should be split evenly because it's easy, I'd go further and suggest him paying for the entire damned dinner. That makes it even easier right?
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2010

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