Before I start with what I have to say I want to state that if you have nothing constructive to add to this thread like posting "you need to get laid" other dumb responses... DON'T! It won't help me and the fragile situation I'm in. I certainly didn't appreciate it in SureShot90's thread! After reading SureShot90's thread about losing faith in life it got me thinking long hard about my situation. I want to try to get it off my chest but I have an extremely hard time sharing with anyone (for a lot of reasons) and when I do try to share I can't seem to articulate what I want to say. I have had this problem for years but that's another issue of many I have. I may try to share but I will see how this turns out. So here is my attempt at sharing: In 2007 I was a proud owner of a Suzuki SV-650S. I had been riding for 3 years before (without incident) and took a Motorcycle riding training program (passed with flying colours). One day my "buddies" and I went out for a ride in the country on some long and winding road. At this point everything gets sketchy in my memory, as I was in and out of consciousness. The first thing in the string of events is pulling away from a stop sign with 1 "buddy" in front of me then the other 2 behind me. Then it goes downhill from there. The next thing I remember is waking up with my face to the ground and hearing one of them saying "don't move an ambulance is on the way!", when I hear that I'm thinking this is a god damn joke, this can't be happening. I then blacked out and came to when the paramedics, police & firefighters gets there on scene trying to get me out of where I was. Apparently I was in a ditch down about 40-50ft with my left arm broken in the middle of the left humorous behind my back and folded up to my head (I only found this out afterward, sounded painful but I was in shock so I don't remember it, luckily!) and wrapped around a tree. I know this because the way they reacted to how I was lying on the ground and the fact that they had to lower the face shield on my helmet to protect me from the sawdust that was flying from them having to cut the tree down to get me on a backboard. I then blacked out again and came to in the ambulance with the paramedics asking me questions (I don't remember what she asked but do remember that she was extremely cute!). Guess what happens next? I blacked out yet again! Woke up in the hospital with a lot of people I knew around me but didn't expect to be there, it was kinda weird. Anyways, so it gets even blurrier as I'm now getting pumped full of drugs. I remember that my mom was not happy with what they were doing. I say that because with my arm being broken, they couldn't even put in it a proper splint! They said it was because I am such a big guy. I'm not that big or should I say then, I am only 6'5" and then 215lbs. So they put it in a half-assed splint and ran me through a gamut of tests. They also only kept me in for a 24hr observation. So the next day I get kicked out with some prescriptions. My mom was so unhappy with what they did and did not do we went to another hospital (luckily, my mom's boss is friends (he's a good doctor) with someone in a hospital who sent me to see the right people). It turns out that since the splint was not right the bone that was broken shifted out of place more then what they were. So when I saw the right people they admitted me immediately to get the bone set properly with a titanium plate and 8 screws. While in the hospital for the surgery the doctors also found out that I had/have a brachial plexus injury to my left arm (not good at all! This is what my thread is getting to). Also since the accident my memory has not been what it was before, although I have not been diagnosed with a head injury, both my family and friends noticed the memory issue. I had to see a neurologist about the nerves. Well, it turns out that from the accident the nerves got overstretched and were pulled from my spinal cord at the C8-T1 area. That leaves my left arm paralyzed from the shoulder down and in pain from the shoulder down to my fingers (I can only assume as I can not feel anything expect pain). The neurologist said to wait and see what would happen in 3 or 6 months (can't remember which). So fast forward that time and nothing improves, they were hoping for the nerves to regenerate. So they then talk about a nerve bypass to get "some function back". That involved taking a nerve from my chest (in-between my ribs) and route it into my arm. I did the surgery and all the rehab involved (which required a lot of time and effort) but to no avail it did not take. So fast forward some time to last year. I went to see my neurologist to see what my options were. He basically gave me 2 options. Option 1. Leave the arm as is. Option 2. Have it amputated. (They said they prefer option 1, but willing to do option 2 if I so desire). With option 1, That means I will have to wear a sling for the rest of my life. As well as suffer from neck pain due to the sling and weight that is on my neck. Also I don't wear it all the time. When I don't wear it the arm swings freely as I have no muscle control of it, so just try to imagine what that is like. Sleeping & showering is a complete bitch as well as other activities Some can be mentioned and others not so much. Typing one handed is slow and tedious, so is transforming transformers, but I'm not stopping to do what I like! That may have sounded positive of me but it's a HUGE struggle to not just give up on everything (whole other issue). With option 2, I can only see positives. There won't be the neck pain problems. There won't be a hassle to sleep or to shower & other things. I also won't have to worry about breaking anything and not knowing it (which I'm afraid of now). I can possibly get a prosthetic that can give me some use of it. The only downside I can see is that people will give me weird looks and treat me different as my arm will be missing (but then again it happens now because I'm wearing a sling). Oh and the so called "phantom pain" but I don't know if I have it now even with my arm being there. What would you do in my situation? I'm not looking for validation as to make my choice better or easier to swallow. I know that it's my life and have to live with my choices. I just want others opinions as to what you would do. P.s. People take what they have for granted everyday and not realize how hard it would be without them. Take both your arms. Try to being my shoes! I struggle with everything now and hate it! I cant even open a bottle without help. I now have a greater appreciation for what others who have disabilities go through on a daily basis. Sorry that last bit was a bit mean and rude but I just needed to say it. P.p.s. Holy shyte that took me almost 2 hours to type that out. I hope I got across what I wanted to get across with this. This is the most I have shared... ever!