what the freak is my now ex-friend smoking!?!?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by MTME, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. MTME

    MTME Well-Known Member

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    THis is weird one of my two friends that I mentioned who wasn't being supportive (the one who worked crazy hours and has a new grandaughter) threw me for a god damned loop today. A while ago like last month we had a small argument via text because I told her I felt unsupported by her and she was being rude saying "You're not the only one with problems" etc. the next day facebook did this weird thing and deleted or unfriended about 20 of my friends including her (her name is Jo). I didn't realie it did this until she texted me complaining I unfriended her and I tried explaining to her what had happened but she found it too convient. Hell, after our small argument if I unfriended you off facebook I would have no problem saying it.

    We hadn't talked in a while then when we had to put our cat down she was supprtive via text and then we were quiet again.

    Today she texted me out of no where again saying that she finds it hard to believe I didn't unfriend her on purpose. I told if I did it I have no problem saying I did it. SHe then pulls out this unfriend finder website thing saying I unfriended her, uh duh of course its going to say that because something in fb screwed up and unfriended her and she claied that I was the only person this ever happened to in the history of fb.

    SHe then goes on this rant for the next twenty minutes calling me a liar and I can only lie to myself for so long. I toldl her to beat it because I have far more important things to deal with in my life than this greif and I know the truth and she really isn't a friend if she doesn't believe her friend over what happened anyways. She then says she has her sources about me and knows things about me. Uh what the fuck, ok know things about me? Am I an angel? hell no, but I'm not a criminal, I've never broken the law and I'm not a freaky deaky pervert either (sorry to disappoint some people out there).

    I couldn't believe out of two friends I have in the area this is how one friend decides to end our friendship.
    THis is why when you guys tell me to lean on my friends for support, I don't have any friends.
    My one other friend (who I am always there for ear, shoulder, babysit her hellion of a child whatever) that she is going through too many problems in her life to be there for me right now. Gee yet I am able to be there for her.

    So my question is what is up with these two people?

    What the hell is up with people in general?
     
  2. Bountyan

    Bountyan Well-Known Member

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    You tell me.
     
  3. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Bitches be crazy?

    Seriously though Facebook is stupid and you should only be real friends with people who support you.
     
  4. MTME

    MTME Well-Known Member

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    Bountyan the answer to your signis 2
    But i feel like it is a trick question of sorts
     
  5. TrueNomadSkies

    TrueNomadSkies Airachnid's ratservant

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    Not sure how I can follow the above 2 responses, so I'll just echo them with good thoughts your way. :) 
     
  6. tikgnat

    tikgnat Baweepgranaweepninnybong. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Sounds like thats a friendship thats... not soured, but definitely out of date.

    Connections via Facebook are hardly what I would call 'real' friendships, and from the sounds of it the friendship with this woman was clearly in need of a lot of TLC, which neither party put in and now here we are.

    My advice? Is there a cancer sufferers group that you can join? To meet like minded people who are going through the same thing?
     
  7. JazzHunter83

    JazzHunter83 Mrs FatalT

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    This is what I would suggest, also :) 

    The social worker at the hospital, or even the onc nurses should be able to direct you to some sort of support group.
     
  8. tfmad2010

    tfmad2010 Oh Hai Internet!

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    Wow, that seems a bit...obsessive. <_<
     
  9. moreprimeland

    moreprimeland Optimus told me to do it! Moderator

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    Write her name down and draw a line thru it. Seriously.

    If she can't be there to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly with all you're going thru, then just drop her. You say she works weird hours and has a grandkid? She's probably stressed a bit too...but good friends know where to draw the line with ranting and making it clear, they just need to rant..nothing personal. Not hostile with you...just life in general..it happens. Good friends also know they can have a disagreement and get over it and still be friends.

    Couple of others said FB friends aren't really your friends, sometimes they can be those you know in RL, but if the only contact you're having with them is thru FB or texting..then they're not what I would call my "bad weather friends", they're the "fair weather" kind. Short little quips and a few LOL's and they're gone...not the kind you need right now. My :2c: 

    The cancer group suggestion isn't a bad one either..but I'm sure there are times you want to discuss anything but cancer....but just maybe 1 or 2 folks from there can be your bad times friends for other things too. Worth a shot.

    Hang in there, if she's really important to you, just give this some time to blow over, both of you meet in person and clear the air, if you can and want to...otherwise you're done.
     
  10. Brave Convoy

    Brave Convoy Banned

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    "Never explain: Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyways." Benefit of the doubt is important. You have to give it to your friends and family, and you also have to expect it. Sometimes you have to just let something happen and tell someone "I'm sure you understand." If you *ever* find yourself explaining, then remember this quote and think to yourself, "Why am I explaining? Shouldn't this person trust me? Wouldn't I trust them in the same situation? If they don't trust me, why am I friends with them?" Have faith in people. Your circle of friends may shrink, but you'll find what's left is made up of some of the best, most trusting and trustworthy people you'll ever meet.

    To answer your final question: "Ego" is up with people. If you really want to understand what drives people to behave this way, I have NEVER read anything that explains it better than "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. If you really want to make an effort to understand and change the way you look at your life and other people, pick this book up and give it a read, or listen to the audio-book. The answers are there, but like anything else in life that's worthwhile, it's not going to be fun or easy. Finding the book and reading it is the first sacrifice you have to make towards understanding (and a LOT of people won't even make that small sacrifice).
     
  11. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    Kill em with kindness if you can. Be a good dude or friend all you can be, and let the karma take it's toll.
     
  12. Thenames9

    Thenames9 D-d-d-d-duel!

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    If they get angry because you de-friended them on FACEBOO they aren't true friends. You're better off without them.
     
  13. Cavshock

    Cavshock Well-Known Member

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    The answer is 288. It is a trick question though.

    Chuck
     
  14. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    If you dont feel like they were being supportive to begin with, why are you keeping these two people in your life in the first place?

    Sounds like drama you really don't need at this point. If they're giving you shit, either give a quick apology and/or leave the ball in their court and don't respond to them (or block them). If they realize what happened, they can apologize, and if they're saying they don't believe you or whatever or pushing the issue, then your computer was doing you a favor in defriending them, and you should make it permanent.
     
  15. transformervic1

    transformervic1 HI!

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    Been there, done that so let me tell you what I did: Kicked them the hell out of my life and hadn't heard any drama from them ever since! :D 
     
  16. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    When you're dealing with a life-threatening condition, you find out who your friends really are. And that woman ain't one of 'em.

    I also suggest a cancer support group. There isn't any other group that's going to understand what you're going through as well as other sufferers, and they can also help you learn how to deal with life issues surrounding it 'cause they've all been there and ARE there.

    --Moony
     
  17. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

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    People get too attached to FB. Had a friend too that couldn't discern real friends with FB friends.

    I have one ex-friend too. I know I am Christian, but I forgive this friend though the only way we will ever talk to each other again is if he apologizes for his immaturity towards me. We had a strife and I owned up to my part, but he ended blaming me rather than owning up. Felt so miserable afterwards, but now I know, I was the bigger man. Sad, but I think we will all end up with some kind of drama. Find friends that will support and forgive within a heartbeat. These are your true friends.
     
  18. Brave Convoy

    Brave Convoy Banned

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    ^This. Anybody who gets offended that they were "unfriended" takes something as ridiculous as Facebook's interpretation of what "friends" are way too seriously. Facebook is a failed social interaction tool. Someone can not communicate with you on there for an entire year, but if you remove them from your "friend list," they notice *that* and are extremely offended. "Unfriending" doesn't mean anything. It just says "this form of communication is pointless. Let's e-mail, text or use the phone instead."
     
  19. MTME

    MTME Well-Known Member

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    Just so I'm clear Jo wasn't just my friend on facebook. She lives down the hill from me and I had known her for years. Her daughter was one of my high school students (she had her young) and Jo would chaperone everything and that's how I got to know her and we became good friends. I moved away to Modesto for three years and we lost touch, now that I moved back to Palmdale (she lives in Valencia) we got back in touch (found out her daughter was pregnant) and we hung out a few times I was helping her through some stuff then everything happened that I typed in my OP.

    Ok Chuck I;ve tried every type of how that answer could be 288 and I can't find it, tell me how you got to that. Be aware I know math teachers, lol.
     
  20. cryotek

    cryotek Criminal Overlord

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    Oh nooos...not Facebook. Facebook is a fucking joke.
     

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