What if it wasn't Michael Bay?....

Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by mblase, Dec 20, 2006.

  1. mblase

    mblase Well-Known Member

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    Some fans have complained almost endlessly about the choice of Michael Bay as director for this film.

    I considered this, and then considered the alternatives. For your perusal, I offer you the Transformers movie as it would have been directed by....


    the Wachowski brothers

    In the near future.... bored with his dead-end job as a soldier in the Autobot army, Hot Rod is awakened at his computer terminal one day by a cryptic message: "you've got the touch." Soon after that, his life is turned upside-down by attacking Sharkticons, exotic Quintessons, and the world-devouring Unicron as he seeks the answer to the question that he has pursued all his life: what is the Autobot Matrix?


    J.J. Abrams

    A group of humans vacationing on Mount St. Helens is unexpectedly isolated by a volcanic eruption. Through a series of flashbacks, we come to understand the personal backgrounds of Spike, Carly and Sparkplug as they seek to learn the truth about the mysterious "hatch" leading to an alien spaceship buried in the heart of the volcano before the elusive "Others" (led by Dr. Arkeville) can wipe them all out.


    John Lassetter

    Kup is a cranky, old, but respected Autobot warrior who finds himself ignored when a young Hot Rod shows up in Autobot City, befriending the local humans and turning their military regimen upside-down. However, an attack by the Decepticons forces the two of them to travel across the galaxy together in a series of hilarious misadventures until they come to trust one another's approach to life. Featuring John Ratzenberger as the voice of Grimlock.


    Quentin Tarantino

    In this hilariously violent send-up of the genre, we follow Starscream, Rumble, Astrotrain, Dirge, Shrapnel, and the Stunticons is a series of intercut vignettes as they swear, crush, and blast their way through daily conflict with the Autobots to secure an attache case full of energon cubes for Megatron (voiced by Samuel L. Jackson).


    Peter Jackson

    In this epic period piece, Bumblebee spends approximately an hour and a half of screen time developing his relationships with Optimus Prime, Jazz, Prowl, Blaster, Tracks, Perceptor, Ultra Magnus, Wreck-Gar, Grimlock, Alpha Trion, Teletraan-1, his father, his uncle, his second cousin once removed, and a small boulder nicknamed "Stan" before we finally get around to a Decepticon attack and watch almost everyone Bumblebee knows get killed, set to a sweeping orchestral soundtrack. The DVD-exclusive Extended Cut would have stretched this out to four hours of character development followed by six hours of lavish CGI-driven brutalization of the entire Autobot army.
     
  2. Lovin'_Screamer

    Lovin'_Screamer i am what I am

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    what about Stephen Spielberg? He could take over or do it - since he is the excutive producer (or whatever title they gave him)
     
  3. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

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    whatabout ang lee?
     
  4. Blunticon

    Blunticon The Oddjob

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    It would be the same outcome pretty much. Hes following a script but using his ideas. I have no problems with any of the movies Bay has made.
     
  5. Draven

    Draven Banned

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    2 possibilities there: it would either be unbearably slow but look beautiful, or be filled with stupid irritating comic book style graphics all over the place.
     
  6. Deefuzz

    Deefuzz Beard On! Beardmaster! Veteran

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    LOL interesting post OP...gave me a good laugh.
     
  7. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    Funny first post, word.

    Honestly, I have to admit - If the film wasn't directed by Bay, I'd shell out to see it on opening day.
     
  8. Caterwaul

    Caterwaul Busou Shinki Loremaster

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    I was amused. :) 

    How about George Lucas?
     
  9. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

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    love the lasseter one. cliffy lol. "what kind of cut rate production is this?!"
     
  10. Quintesson #1

    Quintesson #1 Eater of Fuzzy Stuff

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    Would prolly not differ much if they'd use the same script.


    But tbh, in that list, I'd prefer Peter Jackson. Because he's got more respect for source material.

    It's funny how you basically blame Jackson for Tolkien's writing though. He already removed the tons of singing and other things. But what he didn't do, was change the very basic aesthetics or appearances of the characters as described in the book. And hey, it worked. Was it 100% accurate? No (take the fireworks scene and all), but that's not the point most critics adress with Bay.

    It's like blaming a producer on filming an accurate "Pride and prejudice" being boring to someone who wants to see only fight scenes. Wish some people would be able to differentiate between plot, characterisation and action.

    Now critique about Bay, is more along the lines of 'more of the same applied to new stories. Seen one Bay movie seen m all'.

    The rest of the critique is about what decisions were made which has only partially to do with Bay, but starts more at Orci and co.
     
  11. Codimus Prime

    Codimus Prime Missouri Toy Hunter

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    John Woo? Paul WS Anderson?

    No offense to these guys, I think their work is good to.

    I think Bay will due.
     

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