What is it about women walking out close to the holidays or special days? Ive had that happen to me before. Is it to make a bigger impact?
Hey oddo, she sounds like she honestly has no effin clue what she wants to do... shes giving key indicators that her confusion is genuine.. which is good for you, but wow you have a lot of huge steps to make before this all settles down. I dont envy you man, but ive been there, im sure many of us have... if you love each other, you will weather the storm.. if one of you falters the other has to be there to steady them.. thats how this works... give her her time, and more than anything as hard as it is... understand whats in her head right now...absolute effin chaos. Im on the other side of the faith fence.. Dont put your faith in anything but yourself and your wife.. depending on outside influences leaves nothing but false hope. The only thing that will save your marriage is you and your wife, you two and you two alone will sink or swim no matter what influences you ultimately it is you alone who makes a decision and then lives with the consequences of that action. Have faith in yourself Oddo before anything else.
She might be doing you a favor and you don't know it yet. Mel Gibson said it best , "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!" Hope things look up for you and that your taking it well, and don't dwell on past, especially the negatives. it'll bring you don't and you don't need too waste your time like that, your too cool for that. Im always sad after a seperation, but a few weeks down the road and Im usually glad she's gone. Usually a few beers , good friends and some metal cure's me pretty quickly. Now you can fart with pride! So lift that leg up and smile Hang in there man, you'll be back too your better self soon
bro i was married for 5 years.. it ended in 04 got married in 99 things were real rough... we had our ups and downs, her mom didn't like me for some reason when she was sick i took care of her the best i could, lie any other couple we faught i had to leave for something i was accused of.. and i was told i would go straight to prison one problem i don't have a crimal record that woulda been fun if it went to court
Well, she's coming by Monday, to pretty much say our goodbyes. We spoke for a little while on thanksgiving, she said she just couldn't go on feeling like she just doesn't love me the way she needs to. I understand that now, more than I have before I guess. I wish she would give me one more chance, but I know she just don't have it in her. She will always have a very special place in my heart that noone else will ever know, she'll always be a part of me. I guess we'll be going over the issues of the separation and such, i'll keep you guys updated, but i'm not going to set around the house all the time, frankly because there are just too many memories for me to dwell on. Sure this is going to hurt like hell for a while, having to come home to this house that we had made a home, time heals all wounds. I hold no ill will towards her, cause I know I did my fair share of screwing up in this marriage, I wish God's blessings on her and her life, and wish that he keep her safe. Thanks for listening to me so much over the week guys, hope your all's Turkey day went a hell of a lot better than mine did. Hopefully Christmas will be better. ODDY
Hope you get back on track soon dude. Having been in a similar situation about a year ago, I can say with knowledge that in time, things will be even better than they were before, just have to keep your chin up and your friends close.
You and me both man, but it ain't looking too promising right now. We spoke for a little while tonight and she sounds like she's kinda coming around, but i'm not getting my hopes up. ODDY
Either that or they just feel like this isn't what they want for their life anymore. Holidays = family and looks to the future. If they can't see a future or family with someone then they're less inclined to want to stick around. Jeez every time I turn around someone's getting a divorce. That 50% statistic is going to be more like 75% in ten years. Who's next? I second that.
Well guys Monday is the day. She's coming to lay out the road to which we will go our seperate ways. This is undoubtably the hardest time of my life. I never thought i'd know pain like this. I can't even cry it hurts so bad. I've spent time with friends this past week, trying to dull the pain, it's helped, but nothing takes my mind off the fact that she is really leaving. Although I haven't always shown it like I should have, I love this woman more than I ever thought I could love anyone. She has been my everything. But the old saying goes, God doesn't close a door without opening a new one. I really question my ability to love and trust someone after this. I know I did my fair share of messing up too, I just never thought it'd lead to this. I know in time that i'll lick my wounds and get up and attempt to move on with my life. This house is no longer a home, it's a shell of what it should have been. I'm not trying to play the victim here, because that goes both ways, but i'm also tired of miring myself in self-pity. I know I can carry on and learn to adjust to being alone. I have tons of friends to hang with, and plenty of things to do. But the holidays are a shitty time to have noone to cuddle with on the couch and watch movies with and all that, but hey i'll make it, I don't want anyones pity, I just want to be able to get this off my chest without blowing a hole in it, you know. Anways, i've ranted long enough, i'll update on Tuesday, let everyone know what's up and all that. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers, I appreciate it deeply, more than you guys will ever know. I know i've never even spoke to most of you, but I love you guys. But now I have to turn over a new leaf and find someone else to try and show that I can love someone else, but NEVER will I love anyone like I did her. ODDY
Forgive me if you already answered this, but how long have you known this woman? I mean how long since you first met her.
I've known her for 5 years, she didn't used to be like this, it's like she changed when she started hanging out with those "people". But i'm tired of dwelling on the past and who did what and who dropped the ball and all that, i'm focusing on the future and finding someone who loves me for ME and won't crap on me!!!!
Hey man, I know how you feel. Everything you said about not being able to love again or not finding someone as good... I was there when I went through my divorce in '03. Fast forward, and God has given me a new woman. She's far better than my first wife. We get along better, have more in common, have already connected on a deeper level emotionally, she appreciates me, etc, etc, etc... So it's no surprise we got engaged. Just hang in there and don't give up hope. I'd like to see your marriage work, but if it doesn't just remember that Romans 8:28 is true. Unless my girl totally surprises me and ends it ( which I don't think is gonna happen ), then I'm living proof. The point is that right now you feel like you couldn't do better. And you can't. But God can. Just be patient, focus on Christ as you go through this, and then be patient and wait on Him to see where you future goes. He waited 4 years to introduce me to my fiancée.
Need Advice here guys... Ok, so now the true pain starts, we're OFFICALLY underway towards separation. What are my legal options here guys? I don't have anywhere else to go, let alone store all my crap, and she's wanting her name off the mortgage, saying she won't help anywhere near half on a house she can't set foot in. She left ME, isn't there something on the books about if I could MAKE her pay, lest it ruin BOTH our credit scores? I know there is someone on here who can shed some light on this for me. I can give more comprehnsive details if you need about the whole situation. C'mon guys I know someone has some killer advice on here, I know some of you have went through this same ordeal, and i'm not trying to open old wounds, I just want to know what I can do, to avoid having to move in the middle of Winter in North Carolina's mountains!! Thanks in advance!! ODDY
Um, I think you need to consult a divorce lawyer rather than rely on our advice. Each divorce is different, and have different circumstances. Good luck though.
