What's the wierdest Christmas gift you've received this year or any year?

Today, from my wife's grandmother, I got a bottle of maple syrup. And a small blanket. After I opened the syrup, her grandfather asked me if I liked waffles. I figured that maybe they got us a waffle maker or something. Nope. He then told me that I could buy a pack of waffles at Aldi's for 99 cents. WTF?

Anybody else got any wierd stories?

 

Tampons

 

A three pack of extra small undies.  

Just kidding, I just got this weird purple squeeze toy that says "I'm a horny little devil."

 

My aunt got me a bottle of Heinz Ketchup one year because the previous summer I had complained that they brought some generic crap ketchup on our camping trip.

 

I got a barbie one year, when i was like, 6. I thought it was for my sister, but alas... Turns out it was a gag gift and I ended up getting a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Vehicle.

 

Before my family moved to Indiana, they had some neighbors the Steenbergans. Well they would send us really crappy gifts.. It was always a big joke on what crap they got us that year. One year i got a small leather coin purse.. best two gifts I ever got from them was a cheap little battery powered slot machine (no coins used so no pay out or anything) and the other was a brass letter opener..

Also on the list of crappy gifts was two years ago my uncle from my dad's side gave me about 10 cheap ass $1 DVDs of old crappy shows and stuff I still have never watched.

 

Once I received a set of coffee cups.
I've never had coffee in my life, and I got this when I was, like, 15.

 

I got a gift card today from a gas station, except that it can't actually be used for gas. I guess I'm supposed to use it for candy or something, I don't know.

 

My husband has an aunt who isn't all there mentally. We get some strange gifts from her just about every year. Last year was two small stuffed snowman for a Christmas tree. We don't own a Christmas tree. The dog ate them a few days after we got them.

 

From my Grandma - A dancing nutcracker
From my mom - Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball calender (why did my mom give me video game buttsex to look at all year?)

So yeah, nothing too amusing but that's all I got.

 

I'm allergic to Oranges on a massive scale... I have them my throat closes off from swelling... lots of fun.

every year though.. my step-dad gets me a flat of Oranges Delivered.

Other then that two things, both from my in laws...

Every year I get a Dragon Statue, and my other half gets a Wolf Statue... and every year we say thanks, switch and remind them politely since it's all going to the same house.  

Last year though, I got a string of Martha Stewart brand Garden Lights in the shape of Dragonflies... nice since I enjoy growing herbs, but it's hard to string those in window boxes on a second floor.  

 

A $50 pair of blue jeans.

This is weird to me anyway. I usually pay $10 for jeans (and I usually only buy black ones).

It was a decent thought at least but i could never justify wearing $50 pants that look exactly the same as the plants I already have. Are they made of titanium fiber and can stop a bullet or something?

 

I got a "make your own" coffee mug set at a yankee swap Christmas Party earlier this month. Originally, I had chosen the bag with a lime, a box of salt, and a bottle of tequila in it, but some stupid bitch yoinked it from me when her friend chimed in "oh, I bought that for her."

I am going to make the rudest, most offensive, and tasteless coffee mugs I can think of.

 

Maybe:
"The Tequila Was Mine Bitch!!"

 

I receive very strange, very out-of-taste Old Navy shirts from my uncle every year. I'm pretty sure he just beelines to the very tail end of the "clearance" aisle and buys them for me. Thing is, it's always THE SAME shirt for both my brother and I.

...and they always get returned, and we get like $1.50 store credit at Old Navy.

 

Every year I get a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit or Playboy Lingerie, or some variations thereof, type callender from my step dads family. It has become a staple for me every year and I can expect one today, but I just generally find them weird and in poor taste so they get put away in a box, never to be seen again.

 

Lighthouse stuff. I bought a lighthouse lamp once, 'cause it was on clearance. So my family thought I would like to get shitloads of lighthouse stuff.

So now I get lighthouse crap every year from my family. Plates, wind chime, little statues, light-up ones, keychains, If they made it, I got it.

I tried to tell them NO MORE, but, well, some people don't get it. It's settled down a little. But I can count on AT LEAST getting a lighthouse calander every Christmas from my mom.  

 

A tae boe dvd in one of my stockings. I guess I'll have some aerobics to do in my apartment when I cant go jogging.