Was I wrong??

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by King_Manta, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. King_Manta

    King_Manta Well-Known Member

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    Most of you don't know me. I'm new. I signed up for toy trading mainly.

    Just wanted some advice.

    I have a friend I've known for about 12 years. We collect DC toys. About a month ago, we hit a comic shop and I bought a Mattel Wonder Woman. In a hurry, I left the Despero leg in his car.

    Recently, I've started buying the whole series and I wanted the Despero leg. Turns out he threw it in the trash. Wonderful. Just to clarify, he knows the BAF parts are valuable and he trades/sells them online, so there's no reason he would assume I didn't want it. But he trashed it.

    Recently, I got all the rest of the parts to make Despero and he picked up Artemis. This means he had an extra Despero leg. I asked for it and he agreed.

    Well, the day he was supposed to drop by and give it to me(and play some video games), he changed plans and went to his brothers for the weekend. I texted him and asked if I could go snag it from his room(he keeps everything in this drawer. We pull stuff out of it all the time). He didn't reply, so I called up his mother and asked if I could drop by and grab it from the drawer.

    So I did. No sweat. I dropped in, grabbed the leg, and left.

    I get a text that evening that shocks me. He's acting like I broke into his house and DESTROYED it. He's telling me how he's ashamed that I would invade his space and betray our friendship. I didn't rifle through his house. I didn't break into his room. We have opened this toy drawer a thousand times to get stuff out. I knew exactly where it was.

    Maybe my definition of trust differs, but I don't mind any friend of mine dropping by my house to grab something they left or something that I gave them. Trust means I know they won't do something dishonest while they're here.

    Well, to sum it up...he's furious at me. He wants the leg back and is claiming I took the one he 'personally inspected' and wanted to keep for his Despero, even though the two legs were exactly identical. He's acting like I have a mental problem because I couldn't wait until he got home to give me the leg, when he's the guy throwing a fit over the whole thing.

    Was I really wrong to do this? I thought friends were just cool with this kind of thing. I do tons of favors for my friends and rarely get thanked for it, let alone do I ever get angry when they do something I don't like. He's also ignoring the whole issue that this wouldnt be necessary if he wouldnt have thrown away my belonging.
     
  2. Maximum Burn

    Maximum Burn JETS AND HELI!! I LIKEY!

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    Wait, why did you take the leg when you already completed the figure? You didn't need it, unless you type it wrong and meant that HE completed his figure?

    BTW: i think this goes into the toyark I think.
     
  3. Wolfguard

    Wolfguard Your own personal Jesus.

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    Honestly, the guy sounds like a putz, and seriously, did he really throw that leg away or was he saving it to sell/trade online? Bottom line: he (supposedly) tossed something that was yours, he owed you, and he's got no room to be jumpin' up and down like a lil bitch - he said he give it to you, chumped out by making other plans, and didn't even hit you back after you tried to contact him. Tell him to ball up, follow through with what he says he's going to do AND to never throw your stuff away again.


    :Gouki: 
     
  4. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

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    While I'm inclined to say you should have waited, it hardly seems like something for him to get pissed over. Frankly, you could've gotten just as pissed over the original leg, but didn't.
     
  5. King_Manta

    King_Manta Well-Known Member

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    I mean that I got all the other parts to make Despero. I was only missing the leg that he tossed.

    And let me clarify that I'm a very careful friend. I'm probably too giving. I give my friends anything they ask for most of the time and I rarely get anything in return. I've actually had this friend in question take a custom I made for him as a favor and sell it on ebay. I mean..it's his property, he can do what he wants with it...but blah.

    I honestly don't think he would have gotten angry if it were one of our other mutual friends. He also has a habit of having me pick up toys for him and paying me back, but when I ask him to, and he claims its sold..but its usually still there. And its not a money issue. Im currenly unemployed from medical injury and he's on disability, so he's always loaded with spending money.
     
  6. King_Manta

    King_Manta Well-Known Member

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    Yah, I didn't make a big deal out of it. Just said "ah well, I shouldnt leave my stuff in your car..."

    I'm not one to blame other people for my mishaps.
     
  7. Maximum Burn

    Maximum Burn JETS AND HELI!! I LIKEY!

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    Oh. Then the leg is yours. I don't see how he needed it, since it was in the drawer. Besides, he said so himself that you could have it so what's the biggie?
     
  8. Wolfguard

    Wolfguard Your own personal Jesus.

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    This is why he's acting the way he is. You should also ball up and lay down the law. In other words, the bottom line is if he had followed through with giving you what he owed you, none of this would have happened, i.e. you wouldn't have had to go to his pad to get the bloody thing if he'd brought it like he said he would, never mind his throwing your property away (supposedly.)

    I also do a lot for my best friend. We're both out of a job, but I still go out of my way to make sure she's taken care of (food, errands, a place to stay, etc.) Now I love the girl to death, but every now and then, she pushes my buttons waaaay to far, and I gotta put her in her place. It can become a nasty argument, and we might not talk for a few days or even a week, but once she's over it, she not only realises how much I'm worth, she respects me more for it.

    :dj 
     
  9. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    You invaded his quarters without his permission, wrong? Yes, but hardly anything to get worked up over.
    Sometimes just the priciple alone of disrespecting someones wishes (doing something behind their backs) can be upsetting. Which is why he's probably mad or disappointed. You may have stepped over a trust boundary.
    It's just a leg , you could've waited.

    I on the other hand can't blame you, would've probably done a similar thing :lol 
    Incomplete figures get annoying fast, and im an impatient fu**er
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009
  10. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

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    I think your friend's in the wrong here. He said you could have it, but then he turned around and acted as though you're the criminal. You did ask his mom's permission to come and get it, because you were unable to get a hold of him.
     
  11. Brawlastator

    Brawlastator it is our life - jon bovi

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    Bipolar much? Just give it back to him before he tries to sue you.
     
  12. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    I think he was just afraid you mught see that dildo he's been hiding.
     
  13. Rodimus Major

    Rodimus Major Custom User Title

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    Hell, I doubt he threw away the original leg to begin with, that makes no sense. Not only did he know how valuable it was to you, but he was collecting parts too obviously, why throw something like that away at all?

    Call me paranoid, but maybe the reason he was so mad is that he lied to you, and was worried that while in his house, you might find both legs.
     
  14. Mr.Roboto

    Mr.Roboto YOU'RE A SHRUB ROCKETEER! Veteran

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    I think he is just over-reacting. I would just give him his leg back and say "Perhaps I should have you replace the piece you "supposedly" threw away. Thanks either way." (And leave with a smile on your face.)

    Personally, people like him are not trust worthy and shouldn't be bothered with.
     
  15. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    I think you should have waited until he was there to go get it. That way there would have been no ambiguousness about the situation, no possible impression of going behind his back with his mother, no you taking the 'wrong' leg (according to him, that is), etc. Even if you were used to going through that drawer, in previous times he was with you in the room/house, so he was actually there to give permission for you to take whatever you did. But you didn't allow him that courtesy this time, even tho yes, he owed you.

    If I was him I'd be mad as hell, too, unless you needed the piece desperately for some reason that absolutely couldn't wait a few days, like you were flying to a con that day and needed it for a display piece you'd been planning for months.

    But since the damage is already done, if you can't patch things up with your friend chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

    --Moony
     
  16. burtbacharacnia

    burtbacharacnia Banned

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    Even if you are in the wrong sound like he's being anal about it.

    (Hehe, anal.)

    Ehh, just leave him alone a couple'a days and see what happens. If he comes to his sense he'll realize he overreacted. Geez, people. Toys = Serious Business.
     
  17. Matrix Soul

    Matrix Soul Skull 4 reporting in!

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    You could have waited, and he obviously doesn't trust you as much as you trust him, so I would reevaluate this friendship. He needs to take a chill pill.
     
  18. MikeTSI

    MikeTSI The Reclaimer TFW2005 Supporter

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    When he said you got "the wrong leg", he actually meant you got "the one that you originally left in his car that he stole from you and said he threw away because he's an untrustworthy asshat." Whew....

    See, I think he overreacted so much and acted like you were the criminal because he knows what he did and he's trying to turn it around on you.
     
  19. jorod74

    jorod74 Psycholagnist (Ret.)

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    Should have waited.
    it's just a leg, and you two are worth more than that.
     
  20. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    As a general rule, I'm hesitant to be friendly with young people on disability. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but eh.

    Also, you already know what you want to do and you're posting here to get approval from us to do it. So here it is: return the leg, 'cause that's what you should do, and stop associating with him. Consider the leg you lost as a small price to pay for learning what kind of a person he is.
     

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