I don't mean to sound narcissistic with starting a thread about me but I've had a lot of people PM me asking how I have been doing since being diagnosed with cancer. Instead of responding to each individual response I just decided to put it all here. I'm..........not good, I try to convince myself and others differently but whats the use I've lost my teaching job I can finish out the year but then I'm screwed, no one in CA, due to the budget is hiring music teachers. My administation yelled at because of my absences (like I could help it) and even refused to write a letter of recommendation, they wouldn't even give me credit for the things I have done and have accomplished. I am going to try for disability but there is no guarantee I will be approved, with 0varian cncer they can say just have a hystorectomy (something I refuse) my mother had a heart problem that resulted in a transplant and they rejected her and they had a big long fight to get disability which is something I don;t have rtime for I have no savings because my paycheck ios docked so much with my absences and I make 3 times more than my husband so he doesn't make anything close enough to support us i feel worse everyday, my hair is falling out which makes me cry (thank you radiation), my husband while trying to be supportive isn't especially emotionally my students are rebelling against me because they have so many subs that they have no structure my little boys smile is the only thing keeping me alive. we try to keep as mucj as possible from him but with his autism he is acting up at school and I know its because he senses something is wrong and knows mommy is sick. It kills me that I am unintentionally hurting him in this matter. I don't have many friends in the are only two actually and they never want to do things with me because they assume I am too fragile or I will end up cancelling plans because I'll end up sick that day. I haven't seen one friend in almost a month and the other (who lives across the street and her daughter is my sons girlfriend they are so cute together) has cancelled plans repeatedly the last four days. It just seems like every asdpect of my life has been taken away or effected negatively all because of this...and that's killing me more than any disease can. EDIT: I just got a call fom work they ,ay not be letting me return to work, they have put me on the rehire list and I can't even go back tomorrow meaning I probably won't be getting paid the rest of the year. I am now sitting here shaking and freaking out.
Oh man, do you think they'll let you finish the year out on disability? That way you can still have partial benefits? I'll be praying for you and your family.
Seriously, F**K cancer! I hope you kick its ass, and things turn around for you! And you always have friends here. Hopefully we can cheer you up when life starts feeling unbareable!
I don't think your post is narcissistic at all. You've got family here at TFW. Needless to say, family always cares about each other I've seen people bounce back from this, and I will be praying that you will too.
I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're going through, I hope that you can look at the positives in your life instead of all the negatives despite your situation. I've never been in your position and the only advice or help I think I could give when I've had problems is to talk to a life counselor of some sort to help you through this rough part of your life. I hope things get a lot better for you.
I find out on Friday if they are going to let me finish the year they have three options 1) we go through the meeting let them do their process and I go back to work 2) they put me on paid administrative leave meaning I don't go back to work but I still get paid 3) I don't return to work nor get paid With teachers we don't pay into Social Security therefore we aren't eligible for state or federal disability. We have to pay for private disability and by the time I needed it I couldn't get it because I was considered having a pre existing condition. I am hoping to get disability through the teachers retirement system however that is a 5 month process and a gamble. Hell my mother had a heart condition where she needed a transplant and disability denied her and they had to go through a big legal battle before she got disability so I am terrified I won't get it and it will be very difficult to get a job with my condition and no letter of recommendation from administration. Here's the other shit kicker, everyday I wait for this meeting on Friday I get docked everyday $500, isn't that nice??
from someone with kidney failure and on dialysis 3 days a week, i can relate to your problem. can't work, can't finish things i started, always sick...it's demoralizing at times. and i can't avoid sounding cheesy here, but keep your family close and find joy in them during this. don't let go of that. you may feel like you are clawing at air as you fall, but it helps. it will get you through. don't give up on yourself. you have my prayers. hey, at the very least, if i have to stick it out, you do, too. lol. hang in there the best you can.
I'm praying for you. It sounds like they're much meaner and more unforgiving to teachers where you are than where I am.
Wow. That sucks. I would see about suing the school board. Discrimination or something. Its not your fault you got cancer. You'd think they would be a bit more understanding.
probationary teachers don't have very many rights, you see I 've been teaching for 11 years but this is my first year in this district, any teachers first two years at a district are considered probationary, and a school district can fire you at any time (while probationary) and not even have to give you a reason, thats why it is so hard and usually never happens with teachers suing school district about being fired.
This just sounds terrible, what the hell happened to compassion in our race? The way things are more and more people are developing cancer, you would think this would mean that more and more people can empathize, sympathize and understand. I'm am deeply disturbed at the way things have turned out for you right now, it slowly whittles away my faith in humanity. As a person with a disability, who has recently finally managed to get some kind of assistance financially to start paying back my parents for the years they've had to pay for my foolish decisions all I can say is I hope you will win out, and succeed despite the odds. Though some might call it meaningless, my heart and prayers go out to you in this time of crisis. I lost one family member to cancer already and a second is slowly dieing even now. It is a terrible ordeal and heartbreaking, I wish you luck and hope that life turns around for you. Do Not Get Discouraged.
Agreed. Optimus Prime had it right when he said to fight the good fight (no matter the cost), and it's something that should definitely apply here.
Aw man sis you've got me all but in tears over this! Please stay strong, keep your family close, and pardon my phrasing: "Fight til you die"! Not something I'm wishing on you or trying to curse you with but I hope you can find my meaning! As you are facing probably one of the toughest battles known to man, please don't give up! I will rally those close to me and we will be with you in heart and spirit! Stay strong sister!
My sincere wishes go out to you. No matter how cheesy this may sound, you've only lost once you've given up, stay strong and keep on fighting no matter how bleak it may be. Best of luck.
My best to you. Your situation well warrants some freaking out (especially given the crap with your teaching), so vent away and keep us updated. Consider this a virtual hug.
MTME, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know how hard it can be to try and support a family through some very hard times and still try to put the best face on it. It sounds like you're doing the best you can with what you have, and that is all anyone can do. God bless, I'll be rooting for you.
MTME, let me just say that first of all, I am praying for you. I hope you kick cancer's ass, to put it crudely. Many people have done so before and I am praying that you will be one of those lucky people. I can't say I've ever been in your family's place and I simply can't imagine losing my mom, my dad, or any other family member to cancer or any other reason. I truly am sorry that you and your family have to suffer through your disease and the repercussions it causes. What I find most disturbing and most disgraceful is the fact that your students and your co-workers don't even seem to care. I would know that if anything happened to any teacher or administrator from my school, everyone on campus would be giving their utmost support and encouragement for recovery. Stay strong. We're praying for you.
