Two Phrases That Destroyed American Culture December 13th, 2006 Every time I promise myself that I will work on controlling my temper, I always end up making a scene. This time, it wasn’t my fault. All I wanted was a bagel. A bagel, a cup of coffee, and perhaps a spot near a window where I could idly watch the traffic go by as I browsed through the newspaper and licked cream cheese from my fingers. But apparently the Gods were not on my side. Today I got in line behind a middle aged woman in a fur coat who was barking orders at the poor bagel girl like she was a dumb misbehaving dog. Fur Coat was ordering multiple bagel sandwiches from a list, but instead of ordering them in such a way that would make sense, she was attempting to order them all at the same time. The Bagel Girl was obviously confused and you could tell by her shaking hands that Fur Coat’s harsh tone was intimidating her. Finally, Fur Coat snapped, “I said light butter on that bagel! Light butter! Jesus!” I couldn’t stand it anymore. I cut in, “You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” Fur Coat glared daggers at me and stated, “I’m not.” “Well, I beg to differ.” With a disgusted ‘Hrmph,’ Fur Coat went back to her overly complicated order, but she did so quietly and even managed to begrudge the poor girl a ‘Thank you’ after she was finished. I have a theory about asshole customers: I think they only act that way because no one ever calls them on their bullshit. The poor kids behind the counter can’t stand up for themselves lest they lose their jobs and other patrons look the other way claiming ‘it’s none of my business.’ Fuck that. When I see some self important asshole verbally degrading a teenaged kid with dead eyes behind a counter, it ruins my day. So, I say some shit. Besides, I feel that if I stay silent, I am almost giving an abuser permission to act like a raging asshole. Ignoring their behavior suggests to them on some sick level that what they’re doing is Ok. It’s not OK. The phrase ‘The Customer is Always Right’ is the single worst philosophy that has ever been adopted by American culture. It gave an entire generation of people the green light to be as impolite, unreasonable, and demanding as their little hearts desired because they were always going to be considered right. It destroyed the entire concept of courtesy and rendered manners obsolete. People began to treat their peers in the service industry like incompetent morons, lacking in feelings or human dignity, who deserved to be browbeaten and abused for no other reason than they had the audacity to run out of a particular brand of coffee. Furthermore, instead of suffering negative repercussions for their appallingly disrespectful behavior, they are awarded with free coupons and plenty of ass kissing. In reality, they should be shunned and humiliated for behaving like such self absorbed little children. Speaking of respect, another idea that has ruined American culture is the one that states, ‘I don’t give respect freely. You have to earn my respect.’ This one is most often uttered by punk kids with bad attitudes and black fingernail polish. Fucking gag me. I mean, how egotistical does one have to be to automatically assume that their respect is so fucking important that one must jump through multiples hoops in order to earn it? How about we give people respect because they are humans with lives and feelings just as important as our own? Why not give people a default level of respect and more or less can either be won or lost based on the behavior of the individual? The loss of respect is something that should be based on actions. The idea that that one must win basic respect in the first place is incredibly belittling. How narcissistic can you be to embrace that ideology? A few Sundays ago, my husband and I went out to breakfast. If anyone has ever attempted to go out to breakfast on a Sunday morning, they know that restaurants are usually packed around then. We were finally seated and our server was not only very busy, but also a new employee according to her ‘Hi! I’m new!’ nametag. I’d like to say that everyone in her section was very understanding. The place was a madhouse and she was obviously out of her element. I wish I could say that the patrons in that restaurant were mannerly and polite and treated her with even an ounce of dignity and consideration. But, if I did, I’d be fucking lying. Nearly everyone yelled at her or condescended to her like she was a stupid little child. One guy ordered a side of ‘home fries’ and reamed her ass when she brought him French fries. Had he looked at the menu a little closer, he would have seen that ‘home fries’ weren’t listed. This particular restaurant only served French fries or hash browns. Her mistake was understandable and he was basically yelling at her because she didn’t read his mind accurately enough. But let’s all forget about that for just a moment. Instead, I want to point out that there are a multitude of things that can go wrong in one’s life. Death, illness, and poverty just to name a few. Yet, here I was watching a grown man lose his fucking shit because he was going to have to wait 5 minutes for a side of hash browns. Suddenly, I lost my appetite. At this point, the angry little man demanded to speak to a manager and a kowtowing corporate whore scuttled over with free coupons and many apologies. The angry man furiously demanded that his waitress be fired right that instant. Over hash browns. I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over and interrupted, “When you’re finished talking to this man, I’d like to speak to you. I have the same server.” The angry man smiled smugly, no doubt convinced that I was going to back him up on his quest to get a new girl fired because he had to wait 5 fucking minutes. The manager finished with him and moped over to my table ready for his second tongue lashing of the day. I surprised him by loudly saying, “I just want you to know that our server is doing the best that she can. She’s been trying very hard and has been very sweet to us even though that asshole has treated her so poorly.” The manager suddenly looked panicked and started shooting terrified looks at the table that just finished reaming him out. “I know,” he whispered fearfully, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to fire her.” And while I was pleased to learn that this particular manager wasn’t going to fire the new girl based on the whim of some fat ass piece of trailer trash, I was disappointed that he rewarded said trash’s temper tantrum with free food. I long for the day a manager walks up to a table and says, “How dare you treat my employee this way. Get out now.” I’m sure they want to, but that ridiculous policy ‘The Customer is Always Right’ silences them. So until we banish that phrase from American culture forever, I suggest we quit looking the other way when people behave like scumbags. After all, technicalities may suggest that they are always right, but that doesn’t make them any less an asshole. Source: http://www.violentacres.com/archives/59/two-phrases-that-destroyed-american-culture
i worked in the service line between high school and college. still clung to some friends from the clerks generation even when i moved on up. i'm glad i got the experience which prolly made me a better person. treat ppl who serve you with respect, people.
I was gonna say good for you, but then I realized at the end that this was indeed just a quote from something else. but I do have to agree with what the article said.
Ah...A woman wrote it. She was probably PMSing. Anywho, I love how she called out Fur Coat. I wish I coulda saw that happen IRL.
It's not just American culture that is going that way, it's getting more like that in England too. People are just rude. The one that pisses me off the most is those dickheads that treat Bar Staff in a rude manner. Bar Staff give you beer! If that doesn't deserve a bit of politeness, I don't know what does. I hate rude people.
She needs to come around here. If you treat employees like shit at some of our eateries the manager will come out to great you, and then tell you to leave. They see it as a disturbance to those of us that would like to enjoy our meals.
I personally believe that people who feel the need to try and flaunt superioirity to those in the retail sector have huge problems in their own lives garnering any respect or interest from other people. So when no one else will put up with their egotism or listen to "why they are right", they take it out on those people who are forced to listen and cannot defend themselves. I never put up with this type of crap at my workplace (I currently work at a Blockbuster), and would refuse service to people who felt the need to be belligerent with me. Now, as a manager, I also keep an eye out for people giving shit to my younger employees still in school who are just trying to earn some spending money.
Having worked as a supermarket clerk for a while, I try not to be rude to people in the service inventory. They have fairly crappy jobs as is, usually try their best anyways, and you being an ass isnt going to make them work better. That, and they're still human beings, and dont deserve being shit on because you've had a bad day. Something I found enlightening (And that definitely included the high and mighty types) is that many managers will actually look at how you treat waiters and the like before hiring you. Everyone treats those above them with deference. It's how you treat those below you that really marks your character. It's called 'The Waiter Rule'. If you're rude and condescending to the waiter, you'll likely be that way with anyone below you, and that's bad for productivity. Those who treat their waiters well are more then likely to be good with their department. Remember, "A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter - or others - is not a nice person."
There was a female human (not a lady by any stretch) screaming at the lady behind the counter at Tim Horton's a couple months ago, basically the entire place told her to get out. Employees, customers, managers, people who just came in to use the bathroom (me), we all made sure she knew that her behavior was unacceptable. She started swearing at everybody, then she left. I remember thinking at the time "How does somebody reach adulthood thinking temper tantrums are a viable solution to a problem?"
I really enjoyed that read...I too was lost in the narrative thinking it was a masterpiece of the OP until the link at the end. Regardless, there is so much truth in that it is disgusting. I had spent alot of my teenage life, and for that matter part of my early twenties in those types of roles. A total of about 6 years in grocery (bagger, stocking, cashier), and almost 1 year at TRU, and about a year at Hardee's (though I was a cook there so no customer interaction). I for one, rarely had any issues with overly rude or unreasonable customers. I tried to be very personable with any customer I was interacting with, which in turn I felt was a little disarming to any potential negativity or hostility. Not that I am saying that the employees cited in the above example were not being friendly or personable enough, because sometimes you just can't win. Now that I am on the other side of things I can actually see more of what this article has described. While about 20% of the time, the behavior is almost warranted by horrid service or rude employees, the other 80% of the time is consumed by dregs of humanity that have nothing better to do than blow up at some poor unfortunate soul, slaving away for barely minimum wage. The same type of people who run a red light or a stop sign, and then honk at me and give me the finger because I am proceeding with the right of way. Unfortunately, I don't think I could be the person to speak out when I witness something like that. I think it would just get me more angry to get into it with an irate asshole that I didn't have to deal with in the first place. I would be more of the type of person to speak with the manager much like in the second example. I do agree that "the customer is always right" is total shit though, and should be punted out of the damned window. That said, I really don't know where I was going with this. I read the article and the keyboard took over. But to the OP, great thought provoking post.
The only people I shit on are the ones at the Indian call centre that my ISP uses, mainly because you have to shout at them before they do anything other then blame your equipment for thier line faults.
Totally agree with everything said. I see shit like this everywhere I go, and it's hard not to lose faith in the entire fucking human race.
I used to work as a waiter at a high end cafe when I first got out of high-school, well, I was a waiter there for about two weeks until they "demoted" me to dish washer. The customers there treated the waiters like TOTAL shit, I can remember my first day I was repeating a woman's order back to her and I left off one item, she says to me, "Wow, we're dealing with a real brain surgeon here aren't we." I bit my tongue that time. After a few days of this I started making smart ass comments back. I got demoted to dishwasher the day that I was trying to take one table's order and this guy at another table kept trying to get my attention, he acted like a little kid and kept repeating over and over, "Excuse me - waiter" "EXCUSE ME" "HEY WAITER" I finally applogised to the table who's order I was taking and said, "Can I help you ?" The guy goes, "I need another fork." I blew up, "Didn't you SEE me taking that other table's order?" The guy says, "Yeah but I need another fork." Then I said, "Look up there, see that counter - see that tray with silverware on it?" The guy looked confused. I say, "Do you have feet?" The guy just kind of nodded his head. Then I say (very agitated sounding at this point), "THEN WALK YOUR ASS UP THERE AND GET YOURSELF ANOTHER FORK." And went back to taking my other table's order. The next day I came to work I was informed I would be washing dishes.
This one rang bells for me, as I've heard or in this case read many people say that on message boards. I too always felt that this is the most arrogant self-indulgent tripe I've ever heard. And it's true I mean what makes you so special. To me EVERYONE is deserving of respect, if I like you I'll treat you like a friend. If I don't I'll treat you like you're a human being. Meaning I'll still show you respect & mind my manner. This philosophy IMPO is more prevelent online then in real life. Mainly because with the message boards, people can say whatever and act as bad ass as they want without worry of getting boxed. Because they're safe behind a computer screen. You found a VERY good article, very thought provoking
I have gotten in much more "trouble" (demoted, fired, written up, thrown out of places) by running my mouth in real life than I EVER have on line.
"The customer is always an asshole!" Great stuff. I worked retail for 8 years or so, so I've seen all kinds. MY boss (owner of the store), however, for all his other faults, was a hardass motherfucker who didn't tolerate customers verbally abusing his employees. This came up predominantly with the cashiers, who tended to be a rotating cast of 18-24 year old girls. The equivalents of the bitch in the fur coat and the guy from the restaurant were in there almost daily. If they crossed a line and bossman was around, he would tell them in so many words to get the fuck out and not come back. I had my beefs about the guy over the years, moreso with his jackass son, but I always respected that at least. It clearly never hurt his business, as this relatively dinky hardware store thrives among the Lowe's and Home Depots of the world, he has an almost fanatically loyal customer base, and it's been voted best hardware store in the weekly rag's annual Best Of poll for like 20 years straight.
I couldn't agree more. I work as a clerk/cashier at a grocery store and I wait tables. At both jobs, managment s@#$% alot of d@#$. It's one thing to be easy going, patient and understanding to cutomers, but to allow customers to act like spoiled brats is unnacceptable. That phrase alone has aided in morphing what was once a prinicpled honorable society into a mindless mass of raving lunatics. Now. Now. Now. More. More. More. We demeand what we want, even at t he expense of others. We are the fast food nation.
