Transformers: The Fall of Sentinel

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by eagc7, Sep 30, 2010.

  1. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    I always Wanted to make an fan Fiction for the Site but i could not think of Any Idea for my fan fic. Until Now. So yeah im not sure if it wil lbe good or bad but Enjoy and i will try to Have no typos on the story. So Enjoy

    CHAPTER 1

    Decepticon Base

    Megatron is Walking in

    Megatron:
    Starscream!

    Starscream:
    Ack! *Looks Around* Megatron, You Almost Scared me too Death!

    Megatron:
    If it Worked i would be Happy. anyway. Any Sings of Him?

    Starscream:
    Negative. We Have Been Searching Sentinel Prime. Like 4 Hours but Nothing

    Megatron:
    Damn it.

    Starscream:
    Whats your Problem with Sentinel?

    Megatron:
    He Made the Worst Crime of all Cybertron. He Sealed Him. For Prevent Him of Killing Planet Life for Give us Energon.

    Starscream:
    .......Who?

    Megatron:
    Shut up Starscream!. Just Search for Him.

    Starscream:
    Has you Command Lord Meagtron..

    Megatron Leaves has he walks out the Base

    Megatron:
    You Will See Sentinel. i will punish you for your Crimes. and I will Steal the Matrix From you aswell..!

    The Door Closes

    Starscream:
    No..Megatron...the matrix Will be Mine.....And Your Leadership Aswell...

    Meanwhile

    An Red Cybertronian Car is Driving in with a Gun on its Top

    He is Shooting Every Decepticon.

    Orion Pax:
    Puny...Decepticons!

    he Transforms and Hides.

    an Generic Decepticon Walks there. Looks Around But Nothing

    Orion Shows up with his Gun

    Orion:
    Die!

    Blast the Arm of the Decepticon. and Blast his Chest.

    Sentinel Appears and sees the dead cons that Orion Killed

    Sentinel:
    Dont be Like That Orion

    Orion:
    What Ya Mean?

    Sentinel:
    Just Dont Kill Every Decepticon You See. Just Injure Them

    Orion:
    Oh Come on. I Like Killing Decepticons

    Sentinel:
    You Still Have to Much to Learn Young...i was Like that Too but Soon i Relized that Nobody Derseves to Die..Unless you have no Option

    Orion is Speeachless

    Sentinel:
    Oh Just Came with me

    Orion Transforms and they Roll out

    But in the Sky Somebody is Wacthing Them

    Soundwave:
    Megatron. i Located Him!

    Later

    Orion:
    If We Cant Kill? Then How are we Supposed to Win? Why the Decepticons Can Kill?

    Sentinel:
    We Can Kill. But Do not Kill them Alot like you do.

    Sentinel is Shoot

    Sentinel:
    Ahhh!

    Orion:
    SENTINEL!

    Orion is Shoot has Well

    Orion:
    Arghhhhh!

    Its Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave

    Megatron:
    Sentinel. You Will Pay for your Crimes!

    Sentinel Transforms

    Sentinel:
    Me and my Brothers Had to do it. Why you Think He was Right About Killing Life?

    Megatron:
    Prime! We are the Most Powerfull Race. We Derseve the energon and Coquer the Universe!

    Sentinel:
    Never!

    They Fight

    Orion is Scared to Help so he Calls for Help

    Orion:
    Autobot, This is Orion Pax, Me and Sentinel are Under Attacked. We need Reinforcement!

    Soundwave Hears him and Shoots Him

    Orion:
    Ahhhhh!

    Orion Goes to Stasis Lock

    Megatron Shoots Sentinel, Sentinel Cover his Wound with His Hand. But Starscream Transforms and Blast Sentinel Arm

    Sentinel:
    Arghhhhhhhh!

    Megatron Uses His Claw to Stab Sentinel

    Megatron:
    You Shall Fall!

    Megatron Stabs Sentinel in his Chest Multiple Times. Sentinel Mortally Wounded Lays on the Ground

    Megatron:
    Excellent!, Now for the Matrix!

    Soundwave:
    Megatron!, The Autobots are Coming!

    Megatron:
    Who cares we Can Blast them to Scrap

    Soundwave:
    No, we have to leave they are so MANY!

    Megatron:
    Very Well. the Matrix Shall Wait for me...........Decepticons Transform and Rises UP!

    they Transform and Leave

    The Autobots Arrives and they See Orion Pax On Stasis Lock and Sentinel Mortally Wounded...
     
  2. FanimusMaximus

    FanimusMaximus Well-Known Member

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    Nice job on getting the personalities right.
     
  3. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    Thanks
     
  4. deltaprime

    deltaprime The Christian Transfan

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    Well done sir. Glad you like the title suggestions I gave too. :thumb 
     
  5. jostru

    jostru Well-Known Member

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    Might I suggest you put things that aren't said by anyone in italic or between **? It would be a little easier to read. And please don't use unnecessary caps...

    But great story though.
     
  6. Crazymadman

    Crazymadman Dewbot leader

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    Since when did the Decepticons became the cops of Cybertron? I'm pretty sure the Decepticons are aware that they are the ones breaking the laws.
    Did Orion forget about the Decpticon and Autobot war? Because mostly people don't fight fare in a war.
    I love how Sentinel just straight up contradicts himself.

    I hope I don't sound too mean, but that was a very bad fanfic. The grammar was really bad, you didn't explain where they where or anything, for some reason they kept transforming to shoot, and you made Optimus' personalty nothing like him. I know he's supposed to be young in your fanfic, but no way would he ever act like Hot Shot or Sideways.

    Again, I'm sorry if I'm acting rude. I'm just pointing out the mistakes in your fanfic.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2010
  7. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    i know. Every writer makes a Mistake, this happens when i dont know what i should write. but for clear up al lthese mistakes here they are

    Lol Meagtron Wants Sentinel Dead. Cause He Think the Fallen Was Doing the Right thing Getting Energon while Killing Life. Becuase both he and Fallen hinks the Cybertronians are the Most Powerfull Race o nthe Unvierse and Derseves the enrgon, Kill and Conquer the Universe. WHile Sentinel and the other dead priems does not agree. So After Sentinel and the others Destroyed/sealed/wahtever they did to fallen. Megatron Becmae Angry and COnsider this has a criem to all CYbertronians, The War Began and Megatron Now Wants to Continue what the Fallen was Doing Getting al lthe Nergon. But First He Needs to Kill A Priem Who has the Matrix

    Still Sentinel Dosent Like Killing. But They can kill But not to much unless killing is needed (Like When they are Trapped or the Decepticon are strogner than that Autobot, ya know)

    ya know i make typos all the time :p 

    and Orion. Once he Turns into Optimus Prime he will turn into the priem we all know and love. he is Young and Hyperactive at this Moment. What Happened at the End Will Change Orion from Inside. aslo he does not knw oanything abotu the whole war

    and No Worry you gusy are free to sya if ya liek or not aslo im Bad Writting The beginning of a sotry im Good when im writting an already existing Continuty. Cause i know the characters. but when i Introduce the characters for first time. i dont know what i SHould do. So i Kinda Rush Myself to get to Introduce all Characters and then get to the plot

    Ya know my Stop Motions that are on youtube Suffred the Same Thing. i Rushed myself to introduce all the CHaracters at once and Go to the Final Battle so QUickly has i could.

    my Current Stop Motions are gonig better becuase we Know the Characters Now and i can Build More Backtory to them Now that we know them
     
  8. jostru

    jostru Well-Known Member

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    Then use a spelling checker or something, because it's really, really, really, REALLY annoying.
     
  9. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    i dont have one
     
  10. jostru

    jostru Well-Known Member

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    *facepalm*
    You see the red lines that underline your words when you're writing something? That's your spelling checker...
     
  11. Crazymadman

    Crazymadman Dewbot leader

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    Get Firefox. It has it's own built in spell check.
     
  12. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    no i dont see red lines
     
  13. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    again sorry if it uscks. still enjoy

    Chapter 2

    Autobots Medical Center/Hospital

    Orion Pax Recovers He Gets Up

    Orion:
    Uh? Where im?

    Ratchet:
    Your in The Medical Center

    Orion:
    Medi...cal?

    Ratchet:
    Yeah. Just Rest Orion

    Orion:
    Ummmm...Wait!. Sentinel Where he is?

    Ratchet:
    ....He..........

    Orion:
    Oh No.....

    Ratchet:
    No He is Not.....Yet...but We Dont think he will Last Longer

    Orion:
    No....its my Fault......

    Ratchet:
    No its not

    Orion:
    *Sigh*..........it is

    Ratchet:
    Listen its not you *Someone trys to contact Ratchet* Wait a Minute. Hello?

    Overchet:
    Ratchet, Come to Where Sentinel is

    Ratchet:
    Okay.

    Overchet:
    Overchet out

    Ratchet Turns to Orion

    Ratchet:
    i Will be Right Back. okay Kid?

    Orion:
    *Sigh* Okay

    Orion Lays Down

    Orion:
    i Could Had Saved him, i Could....

    Decepticon Base

    Megatron:
    Yesss...in a Few Minutes He Will be Dead!

    Starscream:
    How you Know?

    Megatron:
    I Can Feel it!

    Starscream:
    Okay?

    Megatron:
    Soon he Will be dead. And the Matrix Will be dead Along him Aswell!

    Starscream:
    Why you Wanted the Matrix Anyway?

    Megatron:
    With the Matrix there Could be a New Leader for the Autobots. by the way i will Explain you the real reason very soon. Just few a minutes till out Mission Had been Completed!

    Autobots Medicla Center/Hospital

    Orion Still Laying Down

    Ratchet Enters

    Ratchet:
    Kid. Sentinel Wants to talk to you.
     
  14. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    Chapter 3

    Orion Enters where sentinel is

    Orion:
    Sentinel?

    Sentinel:
    Hello...

    Orion:
    Im Sorry..for not Helping you..

    Sentinel:
    its okay

    Orion:
    I Hope you Fully Recover

    Sentinel:
    I Wont, My Time has Come.

    Orion:
    What?, No!, No! you cant Go!

    Sentinel:
    im Sorry, but its my Hour.

    Orion:
    But....but, Who will Lead us agaist the Decepticon, Without a Leader they Win! and COudl Conquer the Whole universe or Something!

    Sentinel:
    I Know, Thats Why i want to give this to you.

    Sentinel Opens His Chest

    Sentinel:
    For my Succesor,

    Orion:
    The Matrix is perfectly fine..But Who is your Succesor WHO SHOULD LEAD US?

    Sentinel:
    I Always Knew he Should Be my Succesor When i saw Him for the First time,

    Orion:
    Who is HE?

    Sentinel:
    He.......is........Is...ugh *Dies*

    Orion:
    Sentinel! SENTINEL! oh no.......no no

    Orion lays there sobbing next to the body of hsi Fallen Leader

    Decepticon Base

    Megatron:
    Sentinel HAS FALLEN!!! But Wait theres SOmething Wrong. I Feel Sentine lDeath but I DONT FEEL What Happened to the Matrix!

    Starscream:
    Maybe u cant feel it Cuase its an Inanimate Object

    Megatron:
    No.......even if its an inanimate Object i can feel its Presence, Once SOmething dies i Stop feeling its Presence. Something Msut be Wrong

    Soundwave:
    Lord Meagtron, it Could be Possible that the Matrix was Passed to the Next Leader?

    Meagtron:
    NEVER SAY THAT!, If the Autobots Lays Leaderless We can Win the War without any Problem!

    Starscream:
    But what if Soundwave is Right.

    Megatron:
    Then One of you DIES!

    Starscream:
    But my "Lord", You Told me that you Needed the Matrix For Something, like Harvest Stars

    Meagtron:
    Yeah.....

    Starscream:
    but why?

    Meagtron:
    Our Race, Uses Energon For Live!, If we ran otu fo energon we Die

    Starscream:
    Still. We can Make Artifical Energon!

    Meagtron:
    Yeah but they arent powerfull has Actual Energon. Aslo If we Collect all that Energon i Could Bring him Back!

    Starscream:
    Who?

    Meagtron:
    Shut Up Starscream!, If the Matrix is Alive, We Must GET IT!, Soundwave!, Hack one of our Satelites and FIND THE MATRIX!

    Soundwave:
    Has you Command my Lord!

    Megatron:
    But First Lets Search Some Harvesters So we can be Sure if One Remains on any Planet, or otherwise we Wasted time!

    the Next Day

    An Funeral its Held for Sentinel, All Autobots are Moruning their Fallen Leader, with soem Crying.

    Orion is The Saddest one there and Helds the Matrix, all Sad He goes Home

    Elita-1 and Arcee Looks at Him

    Arcee:
    He is all Sad

    Elita-1:
    Yeah, We Should Speak to Him.

    Arcee:
    Lets go.

    they Transform and Follow Orion
     
  15. Chopperface

    Chopperface Holtzmanned

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    What continuity is this in? WFC, Movies, G1? I'm feeling more of a WFC or G1 feel.

    And friend, I've told you before - why not just type your fan fiction in Microsoft Word, or some other program that makes documents, like NotePad or something? That way, you can use the SpellCheck in the program, and save yourself a lot of flap regarding your spelling.

    Other then that, this fan fiction shows promise, if a little unclear, and some incorrect grammar and frament sentences. And some weird, like "He is all sad" and "Sentinel has fallen! But wait I..." Just seems awkward to me.
     
  16. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    i Havent Played WFC and Never Saw g1 and i accept the Comic prequels to the movies has canon even if they contractic theyself

    So this takes place on my OWN Continuty

    and i used Notepad (but i never checked if it have an spellchecker thing)
     
  17. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    i will Make Some bios For Some of the Bots i have Introduced so u can guys can learn Alot of that bot, lets start with

    ARCEE
    Affiliation: Autobots
    Function: Warrior
    Alt Mode: Cybertronian Convertible Car
    Bio: An Female Autobot Or like Her Friends Would Say an Hot Looking Fembot, Arcee is one of the best known autobots, She is Widely Popular on Cybertron. She is Very Skilled, Sleek, And Along Blurr she is Very FAST.

    Since She is an Girl, Many Autobots Had an Crush on Her but she is not Really Interested into gonig on an relationship. Yet she Is very Good Freidns with Many Autobot, She is Aslo Orion Best Friend But aslo she is Orion ONLY Friend.

    She is an Very Happy Autobot. But very Sensitive. aslo can be So overprotective. The Decepticons See Her an Easy Target, But She is Deadly. So Dont Mess up with Her

    Tell Me so far what u thin kof my icnarnatino fo arcee Just by reading Her Bio
     
  18. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movies Fan/Supporter

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    Chapter 4
    Decepticon Base

    Megatron:
    Doing an Breif Visit to the funerla of my Arch-Enemy

    was so Pleast and Happy.

    Starscream is Searching for any Harvester On the

    Universe

    Starscream:
    Hello Megs.

    Meagtron:
    Starscream, Any Finding?

    Starscream:
    i Found One.

    Megatron:
    Where?

    Starscream:
    Its on the Planet Earth

    Meagtron:
    What?, i thought it was Destroyed.

    Starscream:
    but it Wasnt. Still Im Searching its Location

    Megatron:
    Tell Me when u Find it!, Now that we Know theres an

    Harverster. Lets the MATRIX!

    Soundwave:
    But My Lord Dont you Think its Better to Find the

    Harvester

    Meagtron:
    I GIVE THE ORDERS HERE!, if i Say to fidn it, THAT

    MISSION SHOUDL BE MADE!

    Soundwave:
    Has... has you Command my Lord

    Megatron:
    Now Lets Send One of our Eradicons for Find it!

    Starscream:
    THESE NON-MINDED PIECE OF JUNK?, Come On!. They faill

    on all our Mission

    Meagtron:
    they may be Weak but may be usefull!

    Hits Starscream

    Starscream:
    OW!

    Meanwhile

    Orion is Back on his Base. Holding The Matrix. Somebody

    Knocks the Door

    Orion:
    Pass..

    The Door Opens

    Orion:
    Hello Arcee

    Arcee:
    Hello Orion.

    Orion:
    Um who is your Freind?

    Arcee:
    Oh Sorry. Orion this is Elita-1

    Orion:
    Hello Elita, Pleasure to meet you

    they grab hands and sahke their hands

    Elita-1:
    Same

    orion:
    i see your an girl too, like arcee

    elita-1:
    heheh..

    Orion:
    So Whats the reason of this Visit?

    Arcee:
    Um....

    Orion:
    the Incident wiht sentinel right...?

    Arcee:
    Yes....

    Orion:
    *sigh*....Dont Even speak of it....

    Arcee And elita-1 looks at orion

    Arcee:
    Okay....

    Elita-1:
    Um Orion Whats is the thing your Holding?

    Orion:
    Um this?

    shwos the Matrix

    Elita-1:
    Yes

    Orion:
    Its the Matrix.

    Elita-1:
    Matrix??

    Orion:
    Yes....I Dont know Anything of this Thing. but Before

    He died. Setinel gave it to me.

    Elita-1:
    What i do?

    Orion:
    its Something That The Autobot Leader Uses i dont knwo

    why maybe for Protect it or Something. i wsih Who is

    Our Succesor. Sentinel was About to Tell me. but Before

    he Could He.....He...Died...

    Elita-1 Looks Down

    Arcee:
    Um Buddy....I Dont know to much of this But Why Not you

    Became Our leader.

    Orion:
    WHAT?? YOU CRAZY?, Sentinel Would never want me to

    Lead. i was Mostly an Killer. Why would an decepticon

    Serial killer like me Lead?

    Arcee:
    i..

    Orion:
    *sigh*, i Realized that im not so Worthy, i Enjoyed

    Killing. but With that Near Death Experince im Not the

    Same.....

    Arcee:
    but. Orion

    Orion:
    Arcee. You Know im Not Worthy for Be Leader.

    Arcee Gives an Sad Expression and Looks Down

    Orion:
    *Sigh*,

    Orion Begins to think

    Orion:
    Mmmmmm...Why not i search the Leader?. Maybe i Could

    Find Some of Sentinel Old Friends

    Arcee:
    But Why?

    Orion:
    He sayed he always knew who his succesor could be When

    he first saw Him so Maybe it Could be One of his Old

    Friends.

    Elita-1:
    But do you Even Know them?

    Orion:
    Just Hot Rod. But he was an Great freind of sentinel

    and Maybe Sentinel Was refering to him

    Arcee:
    *Sigh*, But Orion.

    Orion:
    Arcee. Listen.

    Arcee:
    Well Orion Do Whatever you Want but doing this is an

    Big Mistake, We Dont even Know Where This Hot Rod Guy

    Lives.

    Orion:
    but i must try.

    The 2 Girls looks at Each Other

    Arcee:
    Oh Well. do whatever you Want Buddy.

    Arcee opesn the door so they can Leave. but before

    Leaving she looks at Orion for say good bye

    Arcee:
    Well, Good bye Orion

    Orion:
    See ya later Girls

    But then Arcee and Elita-1 Get Shot

    both fembots:
    Ugh!

    Orion:
    Arcee!, ELITA!

    The Eradicon Shows

    Eradicon:
    Give me the Matrix.

    Orion:
    A DECEPTICON!

    Eradicon:
    Give me the MATRIX!

    Orion:
    OH. you want this? uh? THEN TAKE IT!

    Orion throws the Matrix into an Space Pod, THE Pod

    Launches itself ocne an object or an cyebrtronian

    enters on it so its fleis away somewehre on cyebrtron

    Eradicon:
    Who care?, We the Eradicons Can use Space Bridge!

    Orion:
    No if i can stop you!,

    Orion pops an Sword And when the Eradico nActivates the

    space bridge

    Elita-1 Wakes up

    Elita-1:
    Uh?, *Sees teh eradicon* an Decepticon!

    She Reshes to the Con, And then Priem cuts the eradicon

    Head but Elita-1 Trips and falls

    Elita-1:
    Ahhhh!

    and Makes both orion and elita-1 enter the Space Bridge

    by accident

    Both:
    AHHHHHHHHHH!

    Decepticons Base

    Starscream:
    Meagtron. The Eradicon Life Signal Is Empty, It Died

    Meagtron:
    What?!

    Starscream:
    I Told you they were an Waste.

    Meagtron:
    Shut UP!, But Where the Eradicon Went?

    Starscream:
    he Told me that he Detected the Matrix Within the Base

    of the Autobot Orion PAX

    Megatron:
    Orion. Eh?. I Think i Know Him. Starscream, Prepare

    your Troops, GET HIM and the Matrix!
     

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