2D Artwork: Transformers Mosaic: "Starscreams."

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Art' started by Richter, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. Richter

    Richter Well-Known Member

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    The Universe of the Transformers is vast, and populated by many characters. Their universe is a large tapestry, made up of the stories and points of view of countless experiences that serve the larger whole.

    These are some of those stories. This is:
    [​IMG]

    It should be noted that while this project has been recognized by IDW Publishing and Hasbro, none of the works presented have been commissioned or solicited by either company. The stories are not official canon, except where noted. These stories are the result of Transformers enthusiasts taking the time out of their busy days to contribute to a universe they love. No one has been paid for the production of these stories.

    Follow Transformers Mosaic on Deviant Art, Facebook & Twitter

    STARSCREAMS

    Writer:
    Optimus Frimal

    Art & Letters:
    Andersonh1

    Colors:
    Dreadwind

    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Murasame

    Murasame CHIMICHANGAS

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    Someone care to explain?
     
  3. Noise Maker

    Noise Maker Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I don't really know what's going on.
     
  4. Notilator

    Notilator Xenomorph4

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    This is from one of dreamwave's Energon(?) graphic novels I think.
     
  5. ARCTrooperAlpha

    ARCTrooperAlpha Well-Known Member

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    ummmm, i think it might be better if you could add a last box showing Energon Starscream having a flashback
     
  6. antapp

    antapp Well-Known Member

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    Erm.....
     
  7. TFPrime

    TFPrime TFW2005 Supporter

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    huh?
     
  8. Slipstreamer 8

    Slipstreamer 8 Well-Known Member

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    I guess it's called Starscrems because Starscream screams in the last panel.
     
  9. Noideaforaname

    Noideaforaname Pico, let's go up to Zuma

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    The Armada cartoon made a FAR, far better gag about StarSCREAM.
     
  10. Tom-1

    Tom-1 Well-Known Member

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    I thought Mosaics were supposed to be of a certain quality level...? This is terribly written, plotted and drawn. Can just anyone put "Mosaic" frames on their work and claim it as such?
     
  11. Warpshard

    Warpshard Well-Known Member

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    When I read the title, I thought it would be several Starscreams meeting each other.
     
  12. DJW107PRIME

    DJW107PRIME Autobot Hero TFW2005 Supporter

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    Okay he fell into the cogs because he could'nt transform fast enough? Is Armada Starscream hard to transform I never had one, is this what thats about?
     
  13. Yaujta

    Yaujta Broken. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Yeah, I think I'd rather the Mosaic title be retired. Stuff like this should just be considered fan art so it doesn't have to live up to the Mosaic name. Honestly, this isn't good, but would be better (maybe) if it wasn't 'marketed' as an official Mosaic.
     
  14. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP AKA Beve Stuscemi

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    Awful art, awful layout, awful story.

    Like what is even this.
     
  15. Belgrath

    Belgrath Boom! Nutshot!

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    Would've made sense if the mosaic didn't suffer from boring art, storyline and plot.

    I'm sorry, but that piece just doesn't cut it for me.
     
  16. Mechafire

    Mechafire Veteran

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    What the hell? :lol 
     
  17. Andersonh1

    Andersonh1 Man, I've been here a LONG time Veteran

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    I'm not the world's best artist, but I wouldn't call it awful. :) 

    I guess if you've never read the Energon comic, this wouldn't make much sense. I think Frimal, who wrote it, was assuming knowledge of the issue, which evidently didn't work. There's a scene in issue 19 where Scorponok shoots Starscream, who is injured pretty badly. He tries to pull Tidal Wave with him as he falls to his death. His injuries are why he can't transform and escape before being crushed to death.

    A flashback scene might have helped explain his injuries. Hindsight is 20/20... I didn't catch it, because I have the Energon series and knew exactly what was going on. I guess the same is true of Frimal.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  18. Superquad7

    Superquad7 We're only human. Super Mod

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    Agreed. I wouldn't call it "awful" either. Some kind of explanation in the op would have been helpful, though.
     
  19. kjeevahh

    kjeevahh n/a

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    Agree, I've seen far worse artwork, however I did have quite a problem with the art due to the fact that I didn't have any idea until reading the posts that SS was beign crushed in rollers, the art doesn't convey that well, the last frame in particular. The lineart may have got that across in the last frame, but the colouring obscures it, just looks like a generic flat purple background.

    So without realising that, the whole thing made no sense to me at all. It just looked like while he was trying to transform, his cockpit cracked from the effort, in which case the dialogue made no sense and the story didn't have any conclusion.

    I also didn't get any sense at all that the whole thing happened in a split second while falling, I got the impression that he was sat around on the floor for a while trying to transform. "this isn't good" whilst looking at a generic looking bit of scenery wasn't enough to communicate that he was falling to his death, I thought he was already sat at the bottom and looking around. Certainly frames 3 and 4 look like he's just sitting/lying rather than falling.

    Having an entire narrative thread spanning many panels actually taking place within a fraction of a second is not a standard narrative device, it's not what readers are expecting to see so you need to communicate that very clearly.

    Perhaps a few sequential frames would have helped get that across, something like this:

    [​IMG]

    So for example:

    [​IMG]

    Lastly a tweak to the copy in the last panel wouldn't have hurt either as it doesn't look like he's screaming, quite the opposite in fact, that his voice is being abruptly cut off. "EEEARRGGGHH!!!!" might have worked better than "EAAAKH..".

    Hope that's a more helpful crit than the various "erm.." "huh?" "this is rubbish" type posts. Comments like that don't help anyone, the writer and artists can hardly go "cool ok, so the problem is 'erm..', that's something to work on next time"

    To the people making those comments, would you rather optimus/anderson/dreadwind learned and improved and went on to create great stuff for your enjoyment for free, or just gave up completely? Keep that in mind when posting, that's the reason why constructive criticism is often requested by artists.
     
  20. Andersonh1

    Andersonh1 Man, I've been here a LONG time Veteran

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    I do find all that very helpful. In my defense I was drawing exactly what the script specified, but I wish I'd thought to do something like the falling sequence you suggested and pass that along to Frimal. I'm sure he'd have been fine with it. And I wish I"d thought of establishing the whole sequence with an explanation of why Starscream was injured in the first place.

    Live and learn. :) 
     

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