Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by Spin-Out, Apr 18, 2012.
Swamp Monsters eh???? That's new.
So I changed it so the Autobots aren't public knowledge yet, since I think that'd work better for the narrative. However, I've already got an idea for the first regular "episode" of the series. And here, it begins!
Have You Ever Seen a Hearse Go By?
Cole was having an off day. Even though the Autobots had made it back safely from... Well, wherever they went, he knew something was coming. Something bad. He looked up at his calendar and grimaced, seeing that today was the day his father would be visiting.
"Cole!" A man who looked like nothing more than a 1930's filmmaker, complete with slicked back hair and a pencil mustache walked through the door to Cole's garage. "Where are you, son?"
"I'm right here, Walter." Cole stood in the doorway to his room, still in his sleepwear.
Walt laughed and went over to give his son a hug. "C'mon, can't you give your old man a hug?"
Cole grumbled and hesitantly returned the hug before breaking out of the embrace.
"Somethin' botherin' you, champ?" Walter frowned and sighed.
"No more than usual, Walter." Cole closed the door to his room so he could change into his regular clothes as Roy looked around the garage.
"This is quite the collection of vehicles, son." Roy shouted. "A tow truck, a sports car, a pick-up, an... Ambulance... A police car and... An armored truck?"
Cole flung open the door to his room, now dressed in his usual jeans, steel-toed boots and varsity jacket. "They were all junkers, Walt!" At this remark, Wheeljack revved his engines loud. "Especially that one! I'm still trying to fix it up."
"Looks like they're all customs." Walt raised an eyebrow as he looked at the strange badge on each of their hoods. "Kinda looks like a face, honestly." He then looked back to Cole. "Hate to change the subject, but one of my Furmanite plants was attacked yesterday by some foreign aircraft."
"Yeah, I heard." Cole was already working on his old motorcycle with a socket wrench. "How much did the company lose?"
"Not all that much, really." Walt smiled, and continued. "Some of my employees said the aircraft turned into giant robots and were fought off by more giant robots, but I think they might have gone out on a pub crawl last night. I decided to give them all a vacation for their mental health!"
Cole smiled a bit. "You know, I don't think I'll ever understand you, Walt." Cole stood up and looked at his father. "You're a businessman, and you still treat your employees like you know, people."
Walter smiled brightly. "Well, son, I used to be an employee at another energy company before me and Dr. Furman struck out on our own and made our own company - " He then glanced at his watch. "Sorry to cut this short, but I have a meeting to attend to! The head of the company's Japanese division's coming over!" Walt gave his son a hug and walked out the door.
Cole smiled. "All right, guys, you can transform now." The Autobots all transformed into their robot modes.
"You don't know how it felt to be stuck like that all night!" Override stretched out and yawned. "Now maybe First Aid can do some actual repair work."
Ironclad grinned. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I sure had a nice stasis nap."
Hot Shot smirked. "That's 'cuz you're an old rustbucket, yann-OW! What was that for?!"
Override, after striking Hot Shot on his head, scowled. "You idiot! You don't talk like that to a former Wrecker!"
"Relax, Override." Ironclad chuckled to himself as stretched out his stabilizing servos. "Hot Shot means well, even if he is abrasive. He reminds me of Wheeljack back when he and I were younger 'bots, right, Jackie?"
Wheeljack said nothing - the mechanic was too busy trying to set communications back up. "Uh-huh."
"Cole, why don't you and Hot Shot go out for a drive?" Optimus said, crossing his arms. "It's a nice day outside, and we can't be cooped up in here forever. In fact, I'd like to suggest that we all head out of the base, just so we can scout for Decepticons while we exercise our engines." Optimus transformed into vehicle mode, and all the other Autobots save for Wheeljack followed suit. "You coming, Wheeljack?"
"No can do, Prime." Wheeljack put two circuits together, causing a spark. "Not when I'm this close to re-establishing communications."
"Understood. Transform and roll out!" The Autobots left the garage, while Hot Shot waited for Cole to get into the driver's seat.
"I guess I could do with a day off." Cole shrugged. "You got any ideas where we could go, Hot Shot?"
"I dunno. Maybe we could go downtown - I haven't gotten to see Progress City yet, yannow?"
"Sure, I guess." Cole started Hot Shot's engine up, and drove over to Progress City.
Great job And I'm so excited that you decided to bring this back. Walter seems like a nice guy to his employees, but Cole and him together seemed distant to me for some reason. Can't wait for Flatline. Only mistake I see is that you kept calling Override Windrazor; or are you changing it again?
Gotta say, I couldn't resist checking this out with the name Transformers Ignition, seriously the way that just rolls off the Tongue is brilliant. That and the name Progress city has this sort of earthly yet modern feel to it.
As for the story I like the choice in characters, Hotshot is a refreshing character to see rather than Bumblebee and overall he is a pretty fun guy.
Override... Windrazor... whatever her name is seems pretty cool, I think I would appreciate her more if I were to see her have ehr own "episode" in the future.
Wheeljack is a fun character, i like the fact that he isn't too thrilled with the Cole compared to the other bots who are seemingly okay with him.
I thought Red alert was okay at first, then he said Allons-y and I immeidately loved him.
I actually like this Optimus, his raising of the ion axe I admit was pretty bad axe.... see what I did there?... sorry. I wish he had his axe in Prime of course it appears as though it's not going to happen any time soon.
Ironclad is really neat. His description makes him sound like a more powerful Ironhide and I love the little details with his bumb leg.
Starscream seems to say tad too much to be honest, although I like the armada character, I didnt think he focused THAT much on honour, no offense. It kind of reminds me of Razor in green lantern. Only talks about loyalty and honour for the first few episodes, then develops into an actual character as the show progressed. also Starscream's motto is hilarious.
Cyclonus seems to match his armada personality perfectly which is great.
As for Cole I would have preferred if we got to know more about him before his meeting with the autobots. it felt as though the story started out as BAM Robots rather than slowly setting it up as most series do, then again I understand the feeling of wanting to rush immediately into the robots story rather than sticking with a human.
besides that I like the pace this story is going, hopefully more will be released soon yes?
OOps, I keep calling her Windrazor? She's Override now
And Rewind Eject, you totally guess right that Flatline's gonna be in this "episode."
I love Walter Reed. He sounds like the nicest guy ever. It's a shame Cole has to be stick in the mud with his icy relationship with his dad.
Hot Shot and Cole going out for a drive. Sounds like fun.
I love the title for this episode. "Have You Ever Seen a Hearse Go By?" It has a episode title like out of Gurren Lagann. If it is kudos.
The episode title was a reference to an old song about, well, hearses that I remember reading in one of those Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books. I was also trying to evoke the episode titles of TFA more than Gurren Lagann - "Along Came a Spider" and all that.
Sorry guys, but I'm gonna start over from scratch. As much as I liked Cole, I've decided to remove him from the story (along with Override) and have Marina be the central human as an employee of Progress Industries - she's a computer technician. Funny thing is, it's much closer to my original draft - a Prime that turns into a monster truck and a young adult female as the lead human, only she's a new character instead of Stella Holley
So if I ever update this, it'll be a reboot. Good news is that reboot might be happening sooner than you guys'd think
Ah I see.
Well can't wait to see you start once more.
Aww that's a shame, I rather liked how things were going, oh well I trust you will do a good job with the reboot
So here's what I got so far for the relaunch.
- Optimus is still a monster truck and still a younger Optimus like TFA Optimus, albeit a bit more sarcastic.
- Ironclad's basically the same.
- Wheeljack's now the medic, which he's surprisingly decent at - turns out the guy's kind of a backwoods doctor-type. He's still an oil-guzzling mad scientist, though.
- Hot Shot now turns into an actual street racing car sponsored by JAAM Radio.
- First Aid/Red Alert might appear, but not as a main character.
- Override's been replaced by Glyph, who turns into a Smart Car and is pretty much a bubbly geek girl. She'd be voiced by Tara Strong, for obvious reasons - she's essentially Sari as a Transformer. Well, a properly-sized Transformer.
- Marina's the lead human, and doesn't have a love interest yet. She's now an employee working for Progress Industries - Walt's her boss, even though the two haven't met. That said, she gets paid well and gets good benefits from being a robotics programmer (specifically, for the Sumdac Systems division of Progress Industries). She's a little more timid and insecure, but still will stand up for herself when she needs to. She's also still a huge nerd and immediately bonds with Glyph.
Sounds pretty good, looking forward to it.
Tara Strong as Glpyh. My favourite vocie actress with the design that gives me diabeetus. I can totally live with that.
Wheeljack as a medic. It makes sense that the mechanic/engineer works well as the robot doctor.
I can go with a sarcastic Prime. Prime needs a sense a humour unlike some other PRIMES!!!!
Well, considering the aesthetics between TFI and TFA are different in my head (TFI has very Roche-ish designs), Glyph doesn't exactly look like Animated Glyph. I'm thinking of making her less curvy than your usual femme - she's more "cute" and short than the typical femme's "beautiful" and tall and slender. She also totally has a visor over her eyes to make her look even geekier, and she lacks the usual fembot lipstick. She's not super-deformed, but her proportions are... Actually, they're kinda similar to TFA Bumblebee, although they have pretty different transformations other than the feet. For example, the back of the car swings back and becomes a backpack/hoodie like Classics Bumblebee, and she still has door arms like Classics and Animated Bumblebee.
Of course, Optimus makes up for that by having HANDSUM TFA OPTIMUS LIPS. Sorta.
Is his chin just as boss as Stan Smith like in TFA?
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