Top 5 WTF Moments of E3 from 1UP.com Top 5 WTF Moments of E3 The most incomprehensible moments float to the top of the sea of madness. By Scott Sharkey Well, that's another show behind me. A whole week of presentations, parties, keynotes, women in improbable outfits, uncomfortable encounters with people I've written mean things about, more parties, and finally, a moment to look back and just sort of stand here blinking and wondering how much of it actually happened and which parts were just bizarre waking dreams brought on by sensory overload and lack of sleep. Here are the five moments that still have me doubting my mental integrity. 5. Yoko It was neat when Paul, Ringo, and George Harrison's kid showed up on stage, though it was offset a little by the bafflement at seeing Yoko up there with them. It all finally made sense with the unveiling of a fifth Rock Band controller: a pair of ugly sunglasses worn by a player whose job it is to seduce one of the other four and irritate the rest until they shut the game off and go home. I know Yoko's taken her lumps and been the butt of every joke written for the last 30 years, but damn, lady, you'd think you'd have learned to keep your head down. Why are you up there and not, I don't know, Pete f**king Best? Somebody throw that poor bastard a bone already. 4. Milo Never mind the outright misleading presentation that implied actual speech recognition, or the fact that any enthusiasm shown from Peter Molyneux should be cut by at least a power of 10. I'm mostly just confused by the implication that anyone would want to re-play Seaman with the fish replaced by a small boy. Well, other than Michael Jackson, who would have made an excellent presenter. Huge missed opportunity, if you wanted to keep working the butt-of-every-joke musician angle. Hell, we could have tried to get him on stage with Yoko to perform all the Beatles songs he bought the rights to. 3. Sony's Wand Thing It was maybe a little underwhelming when Sony followed Microsoft's controller-free demo with a fairly standard kind of motion recognition, but the thing is... well, the device shown was... I'm still kind of dumbstruck by... Oh hell! It was a damn blinking wand! The thing looked like it was looted out of a discounted, knockoff "Harry The Wizard" Halloween costume from a dollar store. Someone must have left the actual controller at home and called their mom to pick something up on her way back from pilates. 2. InferNO Well, it was fun while it lasted. The short-lived protest of EA's Dante's Inferno game provided a welcome dose of familiar, almost cozy insanity. Then the initial burst of unbridled amusement gave way to a deep sense of doubt, followed by a minimal amount of research. In a somewhat unsurprising validation of Poe's Law, it turned out that, yeah, EA staged the whole thing. Masterful, considering that it probably brought the game more attention than it has seen since its announcement. Still, that doesn't change my plans for framing that pamphlet they gave out and hanging it in my bedroom. Among the subjects of their mock-condemnation was "Exaltation of Bodily Fluids," which needs to be a bullet point on every game's back cover. 1. Vitality Sensor Given that the audience at E3 skews a bit young and vital to begin with, the show probably wasn't the best place to unveil a peripheral that lets you know that your heart is still beating. Though that's pretty much the Wii's demographic at this point. "You're Still Not Dead: The Game." I'm looking forward to some genius attaching the thing to the end of his penis and inventing My Erectile Dysfunction Coach. Which, come to think of it, would work with that bullet point I mentioned earlier.