It was raining. The battle had ended in utter defeat and Soundwave had retreated even before Megatron had given the order. Alone, he fled while the others Decepticons had retreated to their underwater base. He, however, had gotten himself into a bit of a jam. Megatron's latest plan had backfired, in large part to Starscream's interference. A drill digging into the planet's core, to harness the heat of the planet and convert it into Energon. Perfect. Inspired. Doomed to failure. All was running smoothly, but Starscream bumbled into the main mechanism whilst attempting to upstage his commander, utterly destroying the machine. Before Soundwave knew what was happening, Ironhide was on top of him and kicking him right in the skid plates. Soundwave limped away like a wounded dog while chaos ensued. During his flight to safety, he spotted something. A shed? Well, whatever it was, he transformed and landed within the structure, safe from prying sensors or scanners. Never mind him, just a plain, ordinary tape player. He would wait until the coast was clear, as the humans say. He didn't notice the writing on the front of the blue "shed". Police Public Call Box it read. Soundwave realized he was in for more than he bargained for when he finally did a scan of his surroundings. Instead of a cramped structure, much to his surprise, he found he was in a vast, white room. In the center was a mushroom-shaped control console. Along the walls were various monitors which were inactive. Further scans were inconclusive, but, as far as he could tell, perhaps there was more than that through a closed door at the far side of the blindingly white room. He spent the better part of ten minutes attempting to formulate an explanation for what he was seeing from that place where he had planted himself on the floor. As he was going over his data, someone else entered. He could see a small person walking into the box that was larger on the inside. He wore a straw hat and carried a red umbrella that ended in a question mark for a handle. His attire was...questionable...even in Soundwave's opinion. As the little man drew closer, he thought he recognized his dialect as Scottish, as he was mumbling to himself. "I love the eighties," he said to no one in particular. "Best fish and chips ever." The little man made his way to the center of the room, removed his hat, and set it down onto the console. After a few moments of humming Beethoven's Fifth, he called in Soundwave's direction, slightly startling him. "Oh, I'm the Doctor by the way." He slowly scanned around, wondering if the man was really speaking to him. "Oh, yes, I see you," he continued. "Noticed you the moment I walked in. I'm clever that way. By the way, how long have you been in my TARDIS?" Soundwave was stunned. The little man hadn't even looked up from the console. "Who are you human?" Soundwave droned. "First off, I'm not human. I'm a Time Lord." He fiddled with his control panel as he spoke. "Might I inquire as to what, no, forgive me, who, you are?" "How is this possible?" Soundwave asked. "How is the box bigger on the inside?" "My," said the Doctor. "You sound dreadful! Catching cold are we?" "Answer me! Or suffer my wrath!" "Ah, yes. I suspected you were a Cybertronian from the smell of Energon lingering in the air. Further more, a Decepticon by the rudeness." The Doctor thought ponderously for a moment. "My word, I haven't met a Cybertronian since the fall of Iacon more than two thousand years ago. Mind you, I was a bit taller back then. Always carrying that dreadful recorder." "Where am I?" "Oh dear. Rude and forgetful. This is my TARDIS. T-A-R-D-I-S. It's an acronym for 'Time and Relative Dimension In Space'." A strange whirring sound began and a central component of the console began to rise and fall rhythmically. At this, he turned around to face Soundwave and clasped his hands behind his back. "And you might be?" "I am Soundwave!" "Soundwave," he said ponderously. "Soundwave. Ah, yes! Soundwave. You fought in the Unicron battle. Nasty little soiree as I recall. Just after Optimus Prime died. The first time anyway." "What?" "The correct response is 'pardon'." He cleared his throat. "Now, I believe I must return you from whence you came my transforming little friend. You are a fixed point in time, and as such must return to the planet Earth." "Fixed?" "Yes, I'm a time traveller you see. And you are currently residing in my time machine." "Time machine?" A time machine! It was impossible. "Oh, yes. I travel all over time and space. Thus my experiences on Cybertron." It took Soundwave seconds to arrive at the conclusion that he could use this information to his advantage. "You will take me to Cybertron! Now!" "Oh, I don't think so my friend." "Then I will force you! Ravage! Eject! Operation: persuasion!" At this, Ravage ejected and growled at the Doctor. He leveled his lasers right at the little man's face. "My!" exclaimed the Doctor as he held up his hands in mock terror. "A hold up!" He calmly reached inside his coat pocket and removed his sonic screwdriver. With a flick of the wrist and a strange sound, Ravage yelped like a dog and began to transform again. This time, into a harmless cassette tape that landed on the floor with a slight smack. "Ravage! No! Laserbeak! Eject! Operation: Retribution!" "Come, come. We'll have no more of that." With another use of his sonic screwdriver, Soundwave's cassette deck would no longer open. "Then I will destroy you myself!" The little tape player began skipping about and grunting as he attempted, in vain, to transform. "What have you done to me?!" "As I told Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 'elementary'." "No!" "Oh, I know. It's dreadful. I should have at least gotten a mention in one of his stories. But that's another tale. You see, I have merely blocked the slight electrical impulses that begin your transformation. Somewhat like damming a river. You see, your brain works on a-" "I will destroy you!" Soundwave bellowed. "I cannot abide rudeness sir." Said the Doctor, sternly. He strode across the room and retrieved the cassette tape from the floor. He shook a finger at it as a slight electric shock emenated. "Shame on you. You could do to learn some manners yourself." He walked over to Soundwave, opened his tape deck manually and returned the tape to its proper place inside. "Now, I'll send you back to Earth." "You shall fall before me! I! I am! Soundwave!" "So I've been told." The Doctor returned to his console and flipped a switch. The tape player began to vanish from existance. Soundwave began screaming in terror. "Oh, calm down. It's merely matter transferrence. Oh dear. That reminds me, Gene Roddenberry ripped me off as well. Huh. Oh well, I'm not bitter. Au revoir monsieur Soundwave." Soundwave vanished as the echo of his scream follwed him into nothingness. The tape player was gone, returned to the Nemesis at the depths of the ocean in his own place and time. Suddenly the Doctor felt alone. Where should he go now? He began humming 'La Vie En Rose' as he pondered. "Paris is beautiful this time of year," he resolved. At that, he was off to another time and another place. And Soundwave would spend the rest of his existence attempting to explain where he had been and why he had materialized in Megatron's quarters shrieking.