Throw some knowledge on me guys!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Orion P, Nov 17, 2007.

  1. Orion P

    Orion P Cybertronian P.I.M.P.

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    Ok, so me and my lady got into a real big fight and it has her questioning our relationship and also has her wondering if i really care about her at all. We have been together for about a year now and i was wondering... how do you show someone you care with a simple gesture? Because she says she needs time to think and that i should show her that i care for her.

    Need some help here brothers, thanks.
     
  2. Ktulu

    Ktulu Whoosh TFW2005 Supporter

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    Personally it seems like one of those situations where if you try anything overly obvious she's probably gonna think you're just doing it to avoid the dog house because she brought this whole thing up.

    I guess you just have to be mindful of her interests and things she likes doing. Do things like buying her something you know she wants even if it's not a "gift occasion" like Christmas or a birthday. Be a little spontaneous and break usual routines - not jump out of a closet with an axe spontaneous...take her to a really nice dinner for no reason, hide mushy sweet love notes in places she'll find them but not expect it, yadda yadda. Treat her like you're still trying to win her over and she's not even convinced to date you yet - don't just get complacent and take her for granted.

    This all reads like text book bullshit you always see in terms of relationship advice, but hey, it's all I got

    Also, as the Milk Daddy would say - use clever banter, dance clever steps, and eat clever crotch
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2007
  3. Commander_V

    Commander_V I have no title HAH

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    Well, I'm not a brother, but here's 2 cents anyway.

    Ask yourself this and be honest with your answers:

    1. Are you spending as much with her as you should (i.e. how much time does the computer, work, out with friends, etc - take up?)

    2. If you live together, are you doing your fair share of the housework?

    3. When she's talking to you, are you looking directly at her? Are you really paying attention? Do you have to ask her to repeat herself more than a couple times?

    I know there's more. This is all I can think of at this braindead hour.

    A little extra effort goes a long way. That goes both ways, btw.

    Also, if you want to know exactly what to do to show her you care, pick a moment when things are nice and calm, take her by the hand, and ask her directly, "What am I not doing that makes you unhappy?" and no matter what she tells you, don't argue. Just take it as the info you're asking for and go from there. Asking this way usually guarantees an answer.
     
  4. Soundwave84

    Soundwave84 Banned

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    wow nice advice Commander! Lol dude just find ways that u know about her that will make her feel spoiled. Do something that you would never do for any otehr woman! The little things always go along ways. Maybe even just opening the door for her.
     
  5. Wyvern

    Wyvern Velvet Sanchez

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    Sounds to me like she wants you to take the next step and ask her to marry you...
     
  6. Moroni Prime

    Moroni Prime #TFYLP Podcast

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    my 3 cents:
    -When talking to her, make her feel the center of attention. ie, her face isn't somewhere beneath the shirt. eye contact is key.

    -Regardless of the type of person she is, treat her as a "lady". I'm not saying pucker up and be ready to wipe brown off your nose, but be mindful of her thoughts, feelings and opinions. Although they might not always sync up with yours, learn to compromise. Embrace the differences that you have, that's what makes you unique, but don't let those differences drive you away, or change the way you treat her. In Seussian Terms, It's expected of you as a 'plain-bellied' sneetch to treat well the 'star-bellied' sneetch.

    -Be cute and spontanious. For instance, if you know her favorite food, you may surprise her with it. Perhaps a favorite boardgame or movie. Make certain to do it unexpectedly, because surprise is key. If she expects it, it won't be viewed as being as thoughtful as you had intended. Perhaps she has a favorite hangout or retreat, you may plan a getaway for the weekend, go out of town to her favorite place. You get the idea.

    -Above all else, Communication. Regardless of your differing points of view and opinions, be mindful that you are two unique individuals with different traits and thoughts. If those opinions clash, don't escalate things into a confrontation. Instead, calmly discuss things, try to understand her side, and likewise, try to convey to her your point of view. make sure that you both have a firm understanding of one another, who you are, and what you believe. No relationship on earth except peanut butter/jelly, and gallagher/sledge-o-matic can exist without communication.

    I hope and pray that things will work out for you and that this may be one of just a few trials in a long loving relationship. Best Wishes, and lots of luck.
     
  7. Dark Magnus

    Dark Magnus Your opinion is wrong!

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    She's trying to trick you into getting her a ring. Don't do it. Marriage is a trap.
     
  8. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Yay internet cliche.
     
  9. RedOktobre

    RedOktobre RedOktobre

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    I agree with many of the suggestions mentioned previously.

    In addition, I would like to suggest the following:

    1. Talk openly and sincerely with her. She says, "You don't care about me." You need to find out:

    a. Is is something that I did?
    b. Or is it something that I did NOT do?

    From my experience girls often expect their boyfriends to be incredible mind readers. It's not fair, but girls seem to expect this for some strange reason.

    2. Life is like a chess game. When you play against the same player time and time again, your favourite tricks, attacks, and strategies will not always work. This applies to girlfriends too. You have to think of new things to try out. What you have been doing in the past is NOT working!

    3. Give your girlfriend more attention. Girls always love this! Given the tense situation with your girlfriend right now, I would avoid buying gifts. You need to "show" that you care.

    I hope this helps!

    Good luck!
     

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