my transformers, my batman, my gundams, my spawn, everything but my UH-1 Huey from 21rst century toys and my GI Joe dragonfly and FANG. i gave them away. all of it. i can't see them well enough anynore to enjoy them, i got mad at my incinerator figure because he kinda fell apart in my hands and it took me forever to fix, and well, i got other things going on. i waited 20 years for a MISB Omega Supreme and i am walking away from him. i was always in a catch-22 with these things. as a kid, i never had that many of them and they were the only things i could relate to. and as i grew, i kept them close and when i got jobs, i tried to buy the ones i wanted and never had and tried to male something complete in my life. but it was never complete. last night i looked at them and felt not a single emotional bond to any of them. something tells me that when the one thing that brings you peace and sanctuary cannot help you or move you anymore, things aren't good. i feel old, i feel stupid, i feel like i lost something along the way. i feel so damn wrong or guilty for trying to replace friendships with these things. i want so much more than what they give me now. the only reason kids like me is because i am a toy version of a video store or museum; my family jokes about me now, i just feel like i never grew up like i should have and maybe time or loneliness is killing me inside. and my vision problems make me feel helpless more than ever, even with toys i can transform in the dark and wearing padded gloves. so, i boxed em up, and gave them awy earlier today. i trust the man i gave them to; he's got three boys and he promised me he would dole them out only when they were old enough to handle them. RiD UM and Prime they won't see until they are at least 11 or 12 (hell, i am 33 and stared through a microscope tied to a telescopre to understand the directions on them) so i know they will be taken care of for some time. i like it here at the TFW, so it isn't like i am pulling a spook job. i like the people here. they good folks. and funny enough to make bad days better. this isn't a rant- not angry at these things or decided they are stupid- i just feel like i gotta find something else to stir my heart. thanks and peace.