Spouses and collecting

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jtscribe, Mar 5, 2011.

  1. jtscribe

    jtscribe Well-Known Member

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    I love my wife but sometimes I really don't understand her.

    We got into it the other night about Transformers; my son was really excited about Grappel coming out and I remarked that I knew what to get him for his birthday.

    Cue fight.

    Anyway I can't sleep all night and finally I decide, "heck with it." I got on here and put my display collection up for sale (figured I'd keep the movie bots for my son to play with).

    Come morning, I'm getting ready for work and I tell her no worries I'm selling my stuff.

    If anything she got more upset by that. She says that her forcing me to do that is just going to be something she's going to feel guilty about now every time Transformers comes up. I'm like, really? I'm sorry, I'm not that petty, it's over, it's done.

    Anyway long story short it's water under the bridge and she's not going to give me a hard time about collecting anymore - supposedly.

    What sort of experiences of you all had with your other halves?
     
  2. blurr69

    blurr69 First time caller

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    Acceptance and tolerance. Ive gotten random calls while shes shopping like "are you looking for so and so? no? how about so and so"

    I sincerely hope not but, it kinda sounds like you might could be in for a lifetime of headache and heartache;;.
     
  3. jtscribe

    jtscribe Well-Known Member

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    We've been together for 8 years, this is really the biggest issue we had other than dealing with a four-year-old and a one-year-old. So all in all I'd say things are pretty good. ;) 
     
  4. AutobotSkids

    AutobotSkids G1/Bay Lover

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    Wait, she fought with you because you were going to get your son a Grapple toy? That doesn't make any sense to me.

    Why exactly does she not like Transformers? Does she think they're nerdy? A waste of money? How does your collecting them cause her problems?
     
  5. blurr69

    blurr69 First time caller

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    Good good ^^. Totally rescind what I said xD
     
  6. AutoBobby

    AutoBobby The Collector

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    My wife is usually pretty cool with it,but every once in a while she'll question whether I'm spending too much money on them.It's never been that big of an issue that we would have a "fight" over though.
     
  7. jtscribe

    jtscribe Well-Known Member

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    She feels he has too much stuff as it is. I see her point to some extent, but we do cull his toys twice a year at birthday and Christmas.
     
  8. Thenames9

    Thenames9 D-d-d-d-duel!

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    Judging by this post and your siggy your wife isn't too fond of your hobby :lol 
     
  9. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

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    My wife thinks TFs are neat - she never fails to marvel at what nifty works of engineering they can be, and regularly tinkers with my collection. With regards to the money issue, she actively encourages me to spoil myself if I can afford it - hell, she's even helped me finance my hobbies. If anything, she decries the fact that I spend more cash on her than I do on me.
     
  10. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    There's ALWAYS something more to it than 'my wife hates Transformers'. For example: do you spend a lot on them monthly instead of save money or keep up on the bills? Do you refuse to do things she wants to do but expect her to do things you want to (I had an ex like this)? Has your collection taken over the house? Did you perhaps marry a woman who isn't supportive of anything you like? Is she 'high maintenance' in that she wants your attention or money all the time? etc.

    It's never just a single thing with us girls, even the ones who are just plain controlling bitches. You have to look at the big picture...and suddenly deciding to just up and sell your collection is a bad move because it looks like a guilt trip you're pulling, and you're STILL not going to be happy after you do it.

    --Moony
     
  11. Silk Spectre

    Silk Spectre The Evil Queen

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    Sounds like she might have more of a problem with it than she lets on, if this instance was enough to cause a fight and she wasn't just in a bad mood. You may want to have a serious conversation about it.

    Her point about feeling guilty.....Selling things you didn't want to sell because of a fight you have with your partner can easily lead to some resentment, even if it's never shared or spoken of. It's not petty, it's human. Our hobbies and interests make up a part of who we are, and when we give that up for someone, a lot of times it backfires, and the relationships suffer.
     
  12. 46+2

    46+2 Well-Known Member

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    Like I tell my girl, "I can always hit the bar". Its a safe, clean hobby that keeps me at home. What more could she want.
     
  13. AutobotSkids

    AutobotSkids G1/Bay Lover

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    Oh, I see.

    And due to the fact that i'm still a teenager I can't say I have a wife, or that I will for a good while...
     
  14. doomboy536

    doomboy536 Universe Onslaught fanboy

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    Gentlemen, you would all do well to read this and take it to heart. This woman speaks wise words.
     
  15. jtscribe

    jtscribe Well-Known Member

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    I told her I was going to buy some golf clubs. ;) 
     
  16. kraven

    kraven Decepticon

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    My wife is cool. She donesn't see (at all) what I see in transformers, but she loves me and supports everything that I love.
     
  17. jtscribe

    jtscribe Well-Known Member

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    On average I spend maybe 40 bucks a month, if that. It's not a consistent thing, either, it varies. I didn't spend much the past six months cause there wasn't much out; with the new waves I'm getting more. Financially I don't think it's causing an issue because I pay for it out of the money we individually keep after putting our cash in the "pot." We're not loaded but we're not eating Ramen or anything like that, either.

    As far as refusing to do things . . . not sure what you mean. In a way we are both single parents because I work first shift and she works second. So housework, stuff like that, is pretty much shared equally. She'll do laundry while I'm at work, I'll fold it while she's at work, etc.

    My collection takes up one shelf maybe six feet long in my office. There is also a box of them in my son's closet that he plays with from time to time. Compared to other things around the house it's no more or less (example - my wife has a Willow Tree collection. I think she has five four-foot shelves full plus overflow onto the china cabinet. No biggy, I think they look cool.)

    She's not high maintenance at all, I wouldn't even consider that to be an issue.

    You're right about the guilt trip thing, it wasn't intentional on my part but I can see that. In essence I really only sold four or five figures . . . DIA Commander, Hardhead, and some others. I've still got the vast majority.

    Honestly it was probably a combination of the weather (been really dreary here) and a lousy summer/winter with some other family issues. I'm sure the fact that my son refuses to eat anything but chicken nuggets and Chee-tos doesn't help, either. ;) 
     
  18. Big_Daddy

    Big_Daddy The. Balls. Will. Touch.<br><b><font color=blue>Bi

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    My wife is really cool about it. Hell, we even moved to a new apartment just so I could get a collection room! She never questions how much I spend on figures. All she's ever said about that is that as long as we can pay the bills and put food on the table, I can buy as much as I like, and that I won't allow the collection to spread outside of the collection room. I did place a FAB Frenzy on her desk though that she loves, hehe ;)  But anyways, she's really supportive and thinks it's pretty cool, so I'm really lucky :) 
     
  19. Sentinel

    Sentinel TF Museum Curator Moderator News Staff

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    My girlfriend is extraordinarily supportive about my collecting. She's another one of the "which one are you looking for" types and I love it. She actually found RTS Jazz and Tracks for me and that makes her awesome. The only thing was that she did get a little sick of watching ROTF when they were constantly playing it on HBO a couple of months ago. Other than that, she is absolutely amazing and surprisingly helpful when it comes to my collection and TFs in general.
     
  20. moreprimeland

    moreprimeland Optimus told me to do it! Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    jtscribe... Moony's right, there is something else behind the remarks. I've seen your responses to hers and other posts..but really, she's just upset because your son has too many toys? I don't think so, really. Sure, for the most part, kids today get way more toys than most of us did as kids, but as long as you give them away (or sell them) a couple of times a year, what's the big deal?? Those that you have sold, what happened with the money?, did she ask about them and/or the money or not??

    $40 a month= 1 tank of gas a month, but x 12 = $480 a yr..as you said could even be more depending on the new releases.. Is there something she's been wanting, hinting about but you didn't get it for her?? Maybe one of those Willow Tree thingys??

    Could there be an "outside" influence that has caused this concern over buying TF's?

    Obviously, it would be hard for anyone here to give you advice on why and what happened, but at least you've started thinking about the root cause at what is the real issue..because most of us don't think it's just collecting TF's!! (they're harmless plastic fun..:) )
     

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