I'm pretty much in the same boat except I've seen ROTF twice. Spidey 3 started a chain of events that put me off spider-man and I used to be a big fan.
ROTF, definitely! Spidey 3 was okay to watch, but somehow it all seemed to reverse the progress that Parker had made as a hero character from the previous 2 movies; he had lost his way and thus the appeal of his character. Venom was not as great as he could have been too, tho' Sandman did get my sympathy. I just came out of Spidey 3 feeling in a low mood. ROTF, tho' not perfect, at least did not leave me with a depressed feeling after it. It gave me plenty of things to cheer about and gape in awe at.
ROTF and not because I'm a TF fan but I didn't like how Parker was potrayed and oh yeah, Venom seems "off" - IMO.
I personally think a better comparison would have been X-Men 3. I didn't mind Spiderman 3. I don't know if I could choose between X3 and ROTF though.