something my dad said..

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by luke4, Aug 27, 2008.

  1. Astrotrain52

    Astrotrain52 Banned

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    Sigging that quote
     
  2. Vladakris

    Vladakris Predacon

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    Yeah my parents started to get like that. Then I fliped out and yelled at them, they have left me alone ever sense. I dont collect transformers anymore. Ill get a few here and there, but im not a collector. They also bitch about me loving acting! I do a lot of local drama stuff, there always like you need to spend your time doing somthing usefull. Then im like shut the fuck up, its a passion.
     
  3. Ktulu

    Ktulu Whoosh TFW2005 Supporter

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    IMO you should be able to have toys if you understand it should only be a casual hobby. Until you have tons of expendable income, money you can just burn, you need to keep the collection light, only getting a few figures every now and then. Ignoring that is the mistake most of us make - buying way more than is truly affordable. That was my problem for sure, and I still suffer from it a bit now. If you can steer clear of that, and collecting is honestly something you wanna do, there's really no harm in it. At your age, I think your dad ought to support whatever your interests are so long as they're fairly positive.

    Maybe you can do start doing more work around the house to earn an allowance or something to that effect. If it's money you "earn" you should reasonably be able to do as you wish with it. Whatever bad mistakes you make from there are yours to learn from, which could ultimately be a positive.

    Like I said, if it works out that you can continue with your collection, just be weary of getting too heavy handed with it. Trust me on that one.
     
  4. Rodr-Evil

    Rodr-Evil Anubicron TFW2005 Supporter

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    :lol 
     
  5. trebleshot

    trebleshot www.Toyark.com Veteran

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    Hell, talk to your mom first. See if she knows what's going on. She might be more open than your dad. Of course, if it's news to her, it's back to talking with your dad.

    Still, if he says they gotta go, then pack 'em up in storage for a few years. You may not even miss them.

    I've wanted to work with computers since I was 12 and now I'm a network administrator (in my 30's). I know people in their 30's who still don't know what they want in a career.

    Some people just know, and others never know.

    I've always liked that word, ever since I saw Smokey and the Bandit.

    Based on what you said, if they were your parents, they'd blame TFs for it all. Sure, they may have over-reacted, but they were reacting to you being an ass.

    You should be thankful you didn't get beat down. There was no way in hell I would have gotten away with backtalking my mom without physical injury. Dad was fine with anything I said to him or about him, but the minute I smarted off to my mom or insulted her, the belt came loose.

    See American Dad.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2008
  6. sto_vo_kor_2000

    sto_vo_kor_2000 Banned

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    I've seen some pretty good advise given to you already [wish I was given some of the same when I was your age] .I cant think of anything better so I'll tell you what I did when I was in your "EXACT" situation.

    I mover out.
     
  7. Rodimus Prime

    Rodimus Prime Sola Gratia, Sola Fide TFW2005 Supporter

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    OR, tell your dad that you'll put them away, but not to get rid of them cause there'll be guys when you're thirty who will pay hundreds of dollars for a single figure. Tell him you're gonna save them to put a down payment on a car or house or something. :lol 
     
  8. Witwicky Camaro

    Witwicky Camaro Sabbatical Is Required

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    My parents don't mind me wanting to collect, they know I love it, but make sure I have no deliusions of grandre whenever I ask them to buy extremely pricey stuff that's been out of stock for at least 10 or more years. They'll allow me to get something occasionally that's over $20.00, but's that rare, and usually when I start collecting its when somethings really cheap and flowing out of the factory.

    Its only when I fail to get the rest after it out of stock that I panic and by then I'm seriously hesitant to ask them for anything because of the fear that the automatic answer will be "Hell, no.".
     
  9. SMOG

    SMOG Vocabchampion ArgueTitan

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    This is the thing. They'll tell you it's because they're your parents and because they know better and all that, but I'll let you in on a little secret. That's all bullshit.

    I'm now older than my parents were through much of my childhood, and looking back they were pretty good parents, but they didn't have any special monopoly on common sense, any more than people my age now do. Some people are ignorant, impulsive or just plain stupid about stuff... at any age, parents or not. Being a parent gives you the license to be the boss of somebody... but it doesn't mean you're always good at it.

    In my teens, I passed half my toys to my little brother, and boxed up my favourites and packed them in the attic (out of harm's way). I wanted to keep those things around for the future! Heh heh... and my parents thought I was going to keep them for MY kids. Har! Fat chance! :D 

    So yeah... I recommend hiding your best stuff, or packing up the bulk of it and storing it with the understanding that it's "for future generations", not "for a yard sale". It still amazes me how some parents just arbitrarily decide that they can/should take their kids' personal possessions and sell them off because they're doing a spring cleaning.

    For the most part, I agree with your moderate, reasonable approach (not that everyone has moderate, reasonable parents, but it's good to try anyway).

    However there are a couple of bits I think are way off base. At 13, you're not a little kid anymore. The world has fewer demands of our "children" now than they EVER have before. We are frickin' spoiled rotten!

    I don't mean to be a curmudgeon... because I grew up pretty soft, and I'm all for it. I love keeping that inner kid alive in everything I do, even if in many ways I live in a state of arrested development. But I'm not under any illusions... in my case I think my teenage years were great, and I turned out well, but I know a lot of my generation (including myself) were coddled and protected too much, and now we have an obsession with our childhoods and a king-sized sense of entitlement.

    A couple of generations ago, 13 was practically a man... or at least something that THOUGHT it was a man! :)  It's not surprising that some dads look at their adolescent sons, playing with toys, watching cartoons, doing nothing etc... and wonder sickly what the hell is going on, because at that age they were out getting into trouble, thinking about girls and cars, getting a job, and smoking a pack a day.

    Not that I condone authoritarian parental strong-arming, or trying too hard to grow up too fast... but you have to understand the perspective that they're coming from. My parents left home when they were 17. I was 19, and going to University, and the were sort of looking at me like "WTF? Are you still here??"

    Take precautions... make sure the good stuff is safe somewhere. Maybe put it in the basement in a box with a sign on it that says "My toys. DO NOT SELL OR GIVE AWAY, or you will NEVER be allowed to see your grandchildren, and will die old and unloved!!!". That might get the message across. :) 

    Balance out your life so toys and play aren't the center of it all, and maybe your parents will realize that it's just one small part of who you are, not ALL you are.

    Also, make it clear to them that if they toss out all your stuff now, it will just create a deep-rooted obsession that will hit you later in life and cause you to spend way too much money to BUY BACK all the stuff you lost, and then some, before you can feel any sense of closure. Instead of being allowed to "outgrow" your toys, you'll always feel like you're trying to recapture that part of your childhood. :) 

    I know that's how it happened with me and several of my toy-collecting friends, and I'm sure there a thousand similar stories on this website. Parents think "Oh, he'll get over it." or "you'll understand when you're older"... but kids remember every little unfair thing like that.

    I take great satisfaction now telling my father "Y'know, I'm now older and wiser than you were when I was a kid... and I STILL think that was a dick move, dad." :) 

    Well, I know I'M a paedophile, but I wasn't sure about the rest of you. Thank god, I feel much better now. :) 

    Amen to that. My brother and I do the "pulling out the old toys" ritual every year or so now, and it's always a special event. :) 

    zmog
     
  10. AnimatedFan

    AnimatedFan Banned

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    Thank you for bringing up an excellent point. (and I apologize in advance if it seems as though I've included your parents in what I'm about to say next. It wasn't my intention, nor am I making a judgment call against them. I'm going based on personal experience with friends, and locals.)

    It's great that parents want their children to be self sufficient and able to stand on their own two feet, no matter what happens. I couldn't honestly say you'd be a great parent if you did otherwise. However, throwing your kids out when they turn a certain age, ain't great parenting, nor is it even passable.

    Two family members were constantly threatened that they'd be kicked out when they turned 18, regardless of whether or not they were attending school, or whatever. Their parents believed that they'd land on their faces, pick themselves up, and just make do. Well, it didn't work. The boys joined the military, were sent to Iraq, said it's still better than being at home, and they've had to kill people in the line of duty...and they've never been the same. Yet, they'd still rather be there, than be at home.

    Now...is that good parenting? Last I checked, you want your children to excel, and do more than you ever did (that's a good thing btw...) but more and more, lately, all I see is groups of parents who want their kids out asap so they can have time together, and/or one less mouth/bill to feed.

    What happened between "This is my boy! My precious baby!" and "Well, it's that time. Love you and all, but get the hell out, and PLEASE....don't come back except for visits. That ain't what a man does. You're a man right? Good, get the hell offa my door step."

    An exfriend of mine told me that even though she loves her kids, they're all getting kicked out at 18, no ifs, ands, or buts. Because she left home at 18 and she turned out alright. Well, she chose to leave, her parents begged her not to, so she could complete her studies. She ended up failing and having to drop all of her classes, had two kids by 20, and now has 5 at 29. She has no man, her house is barely getting paid for, her parents are used for babysitting and they're damned tired of it, and she's fallen on her face more times than I can count and hasn't learned a single thing out of it.

    ....that's what she wants for her children? At least one of them is one year behind, which means he'll be 18 when he starts his senior year of high school. How in the hell is he supposed to do that, if he's homeless? I mean, sure, it's possible, but it's highly unlikely.

    I don't think a parent is being cushy, or doing their children any extra favors by letting them have some assistance (whether it be housing, food, etc.) while they attend trade school, college, or a university. How does anyone expect their child to do any good if their own parents are the ones pulling the rug out from under them? "Oh we do it to toughen them up."

    No. You do it to make them hate you, even if it's not your intention. That's just how it happens.

    You brought the child into this world, they never asked to be born, they're your responsibility until they're on their feet. Whether that's going to college and completing it, or even just getting into the dorm and then they take over for themselves...until they're on their feet, it's YOUR job to ensure they get that chance.

    A child isn't a welfare check, or a government subsidy, they're a living, breathing human being who deserves every chance you had and then some.

    I will never understand why parents these days want their children gone. I mean, I realize it's for selfish reasons, but damn...seriously? What kind of a monster were you while they were growing up?

    My grandfather treated my dad like shit while he was growing up, beat him senseless, took his paychecks, etc. My Dad didn't become an asshole, he kept me and took care of me through the good times and bad, even if I didn't deserve it sometimes. He wouldn't have it any other way, and I haven't turned into a selfish, worthless piece of white trash.

    It disgusts me to see so many people treat their children like a meal ticket, and when they're done...out to the garbage. My grandparents treated my Mom like that, and to a certain extent...still do (and she's 59 friggin' years old.) and it's damaged her emotionally.

    I dunno. Parents these days...they...nah. They can go fuck themselves.
     
  11. Vangelus

    Vangelus Long Live the New Flesh Moderator Content Contributor

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    Ebay:
    QFT, make up some bullshit about how they'll be worth thousands when you're 30, and cite ebay + 80s Transformers. XD

    Or just like...put them all in a box. Maybe the display is what's getting to your dad.

    Personally I think it's silly to kill off your kid's non-health-damaging hobby. If it's being practiced in a way that doesn't involve the loss of all monetary savings and study time and such. ;) 

    On harsh parenting:
    From my experiences and those of many people I know- some parents do it because they want their kids to learn to be independent. That is a very hard thing to teach, IMO. Some parents do it too lightly, some do it too harshly. I think the main thing people need to do is just sit down and talk. If strange orders are coming down from the bodies that birthed you, ask them if they'd care to share why. If they don't, well, Vangelus Bonus Points lost and that's that. But I'm sure many good parents are capable of explaining their intentions, especially when their kids are out of elementary school. Willing, who knows. :lol 

    Honestly I've been blessed with an incredibly awesome, caring, and open-minded mom, so I've not had a lot of harsh treatment. That said, she's also a -very- earnest communicator, so I was informed of a lot of life's lessons regardless. One thing we both never agreed with is the -massive push- to throw out your kids...it's something everyone needs (independence), but at the same time, everybody's time together is finite. This doesn't mean "keep your kids at home forever", it just means "let them be the ones to leave, and help them see all the real-world impetuses that would cause that to happen, like college". Because really...a lot of people will leave home of their own accord, IMO.

    rambleramblerambleramble my kids will rule the world etc
     
  12. Digilaut

    Digilaut Well-Known Member

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    I started collection Transformers last year during the movie hype. I'm 23 now, and my father was kind of wondering what the hell I was doing, clearly 'toys are for kids'. By now he knows there's much more to it than just kids toys, collecting is actually a pretty cool hobby, and he respects that. :) 

    People will often think that, if you have alot of toys, you must be a childish person. Of course, this is not true in most cases of people owning Transformers ;) .

    There's nothing wrong with playing with toys if you feel like it though..after all, 'grown up' people going crazy over sports cars..isn't that a toy in some way as well (albeit a very expensive one ;) )?
     
  13. AnimatedFan

    AnimatedFan Banned

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    Welcome to the world of collecting, you'll enjoy it. "ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF US..."

    Second, while it's clear that toys are for kids, they also appeal to adults. If that weren't the case, none of us would be doing what we do. Normal? Maybe not, but it most certainly isn't the end of the world. With so many legitimate worries out there...the fact you have Optimus Prime sitting on top of your monitor becomes so much of a non issue, and those who focus on it...seriously need to find a bottle of Vodka and drink it, so they'll inebriate themselves until they shut up.

    Third, if we collect toys, it's a given that we're childish adults, but that's okay. That's part of our personalities, part of who we are. We're young at heart, and still enjoy the simple things, stuff that makes a kid smile. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Anyone who finds fault in it, considering what the alternative vice could be...well...again, Vodka. Drink it.

    You make a good point about a car being a toy. It brings the driver/collector pleasure, it will piss off the wife, it costs more than it should, and it's a constant addiction. In actuality, the situation is one and the same. Things here and there might change, but the principle remains the same.

    I have noticed, since becoming a collector (quite some time ago...) that people tend to make a spectacle of you, and nitpick over one of the silliest things. Once I saw how stupid people could get because of this crap...I realized that I'm dealing with idiots.

    TransFormers: Creating Mental ******ation In Assholes Who Can't Mind Their Own Business, since 1984. (25 years of ruining parental hopes and dreams, bitch.)
     
  14. The Asp

    The Asp Angry Old Man

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  15. SMOG

    SMOG Vocabchampion ArgueTitan

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    No problem! My parents were great for the most part, but you make a good point on the other end of the spectrum. A lot of us "kids" have been a bit spoiled by our liberal bourgeois upbringing and now have a sense of entitlement that can contribute to a slacker life.

    However, some parents are selfish, mixed-up or out-of-touch with certain realities.... some of them are still "children" themselves, and consequently, are really BAD parents.

    Amen. Have you ever seen GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER with Sidney Poitier? He gives a great speech to his dad at the end of the movie which covers some of that same territory... it's not just about what the kid "owes" their parents, but what the parents "owe" their children. Poitier says it better than I ever could, so I'll leave it at that. :) 

    Exactly... there are socially acceptable juvenile toy obsessions, and socially unacceptable juvenile toy obsessions.

    It seems like the more expensive it is, and the greater the potential for abuse and personal injury, the more acceptable it is though... :rolleyes: 

    zmog
     
  16. Leemon

    Leemon Yar, spare sum fuel mate?

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    My advise is to box up your favorites and hide them. When my brothers and I were kids, we had most of the original Star Wars toys. We played with them alot and some of them got banged up. One day (a couple years after Return), our Dad made us load them in the bed of his pick-up truck. Then he took us down to the body shop he worked at and made us throw them in the garbage dumpster.