Tough guy homophobe two cubes down says, "Hey Foster, you hear they're redoing the walls of the bathroom stalls at the Minneapolis airport?" I reply, "What, they're installing glory holes?" "Sicko."
While the standard "your mom" or "no your mom is" reply to everything is a little tired. I thought D_C's was pretty good, something new and a good way to slam that old "tiny violin" joke. Llamatron wins points with "bag of dicks" too.
A whole bag of dicks? When you picture a bag of dicks do you think of like a plastic bag and they're all smooshed together like chicken parts with the date written on them with Sharpie, you keep them in the freezer like that. Or do you imagine a paper bag and they're all sticking out like baguettes. And would you have to suck the whole bag or do you just pick dicks out and suck each one individually, and toss the finished ones in a bowl like oyster shells. Do I have to make them all cum? Theres a lot of questions.
Actually, he was making a much funnier joke, and you completely missed it. "You don't have the parts I want" means "Do not attempt to make love to me, I am heterosexual." And the trick to 'your mom' jokes is to take a sentence and add only 'your mom' in place of the subject. You must wait, patiently, until the right moment. The sentence needs to be just the right one. This is only likely to occur once a week, so you need to be smart to catch the really good ones. If you add other things to the sentence, you are a gibbering idiot. If the resultant sentence is not sexual in nature, you are a gibbering idiot. RIGHT: Man, look at that rusty car. The bottom needs to get worked over. Your mom's bottom needs to get worked over! WRONG: Man, this is dumb. You're mom's face is dumb! I also know where 'bag of dicks' came from, but I'm not going to out Steve for swiping it.
This is the correct procedure for eating a bag of dicks. OH GOD MY CAREER IS OVER. All my best stuff is stolen.
You're kidding, right? And that's why I said "oh, you're gay?" So first guy now has a vagina, second guy is now a ***. Got it now?
Still makes no sense. The guy says 'I'm not gay,' and you say that he is gay, and that the other guy is a girl, when he is obviously a guy, which is why the joke was made in the first place.
Sigh. The first guy, the touchy-feely guy, is so much of a pansy he might as well be a girl. The second guy, who is arrogant, is most likely a closet homo. I guess you just have to know these people to make the joke work. The second guy, who said "you don't have the right parts for me" isn't even capable of making a joke. When both parties and several other employees around you that heard the whole thing say "that's messed up man", and then laugh, it makes it funny.
No, it makes sense. With one line he does a twofer. Slamming one guy, saying he wants cock, and second guy, implying he has no cock. Nice.
It would make a lot more sense if we knew people have called this person a girl before. You should edit that into your post.
Thanks Foster. Glory holes FTW. But, we haven't. Even if he was a steaming pile of machismo, I still called him a girl, and the other guy gay.
Here's an oldie but a goodie my friend told me, it would go something like for instance: Idiot: So I hear you dont like sports, are you a pussy or something You: Yes, yes I am, good one man, tell you what, why don't I treat you to dinner, McDonalds came out with a new sandwich that was named after you, called the McDumbass.
That one also works, I wasn't quoting any particular conversation I had though, but I like your response.
It's certainly more interesting than watching a bunch of sweaty guys running after and jumping on each other, then patting each other on the ass afterward.
