Skeletons in my Closet (a sad story originally meant for V-Day)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by awful_gollum, Feb 17, 2010.

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  1. awful_gollum

    awful_gollum Well-Known Member

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    Since last Sunday was Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share this personal love story with you guys. I know I should have posted this on V-Day, but I had a headache that day. Then the following couple of days I've just been too lazy to post it. Regardless, I hope you guys find this story to be touching and not just depressing, even though it is a sad love story.



    Once upon a time in Campbell, California, during the Summer of 1996, I met a wonderful girl named Desiree Harris. We were only kids on a summer school playground, but I liked her quite a bit when her and I met. As it turned out, the two of us would have the same class together in grade school during fall. Thus I continued to like her more, and then I actually began to love her. I then told her about how I felt, to which she was flattered and delighted. So the two of us went steady from there on out as childhood sweethearts.

    While Desiree and I were happily together, the other children were displeased. So they pretty much made fun of me to break her and I apart, and it proved to be horrible. I didn't enjoy being ridiculed or jeered one bit, yet they mocked me for being with Dez. All just because she was Black! My sister even once called me a n***er-dater, which is pretty much the worst thing I've ever been called. Of course, the rest kids weren't exactly racist against Black people, but were just bothered by the fact that I was in an interracial relationship. Because they thought it was very weird, and as we all know children will make fun of other children that they find weird.

    Eventually, I was unable to bear such torment any longer, so in June of 1997, Dez and I spoke together for one final time at a park while on a school picnic. There, I broke up with Desiree after nine months of being together. I had hoped that she would be all cool about it, but instead she blew up in a very frightening fit of rage. She became so angry, I had to restrain her from throwing a rock at a near by duck. It was a miracle that her fit didn't drew attention from others, but I guess we were secluded enough to go unnoticed. By unwittingly taking on the role of an adult, I managed to calm her down, but after that the two of us never spoke to each other again.

    I had thought that all the harassment from others would instantly vanish as soon as I broke up with Dez, but unfortunately it did not. However, the harassment began to decline as time went on, but someone would bring it up just to make me mad. After the whole ordeal with Dez, I just wanted to do nothing but forget about the whole relationship and pretend that it never happened. So I went great lengths to forget, from denial, hiding anything that reminded me of her, to physically lashing out at those that brought it up. So I've been haunted by that memory for many long years, but I continued to deny it until the Summer of 2008. At that point, I could deny it no longer and so I attempted to confront the memories that haunted me. Sadly, I am fighting a losing battle with these sad memories, for I cannot help but feel all destroyed on the inside.

    I guess a broken heart that lasts for many long years is enough of a fair punishment. That, along with the possibility that I will never love anyone as much as I had loved Dez ever again. So while this may eat away at my soul, I am very fortunate enough to have the love, care, and support of my family and friends. Plus I attend group counselling once a week to help deal with this issue and more, so there is no doubt that I am on the road to recovery.

    So now I do all I can to make amends with that dark chapter of my life. So that I may then close it for good and finally be at peace. That is my story, and I will be doing everything I can to over come those memories. Maybe then, I can finally take a step outside on a beautiful sunny afternoon and enjoy a merry & guilt-free existence.


    Sincerely, AG
     
  2. Razorclaw

    Razorclaw Are ya gonna draw pistols

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    I'm sorry, but I will have to say that you deserved what you got. Have you tried to think how the girl have felt? You dumped her because you wanted to conform to the masses. I'm sorry but of all the bad reasons for breaking up, this is one of the worst. And for what?
     
  3. Elita_One

    Elita_One Метал для життя

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    .......I know you are trying to be guilt free but I would NEVER break up with someone just because of a bunch of losers. I am in an interracial relationship and people have thrown out racist comments about him and we had worked together for 7 years and people at work would try to cause problems and say 'oh, he's talking to some girl' and I would say 'so?' He was doing his job, which was to teach the new people what to do, yet a bunch of losers with no lives would try to say things and make up stories to try to cause drama.

    Maybe I am just a bit more thick skinned but I would never give him up just because there are douchebags in this world who try to break people apart. She was a part of your life and you shouldn't pretend it didn't happen. It wasn't her fault so it's not cool to just shun her out, especially since you seem to have loved her a lot and enjoyed your 9 months with her (besides the douchebags who bothered you).

    Well, if she didn't move on, maybe you should try to reconnect and try again. If she has moved on, you need to do the same. People come and go in our lives and what happened happened. It's the past, you can't change it so all you can do is move forward. You may think you could never love another girl the same way but you don't know until you try. People who have been married for YEARS and get divorced move on. You're talking about a 9 month union. My parents were together for over 20 YEARS before divorcing and both moved on.

    It was a learning experience in your life and you can't sit around feeling guilty because it will get you nowhere. Go out with friends, socialize, do things that will keep you busy so you don't bury yourself at home thinking about something you can't change. Life is too short for that. It was a stupid reason to dump her and it was very selfish.

    Not trying to put you down or anything (I am just a little more 'aggressive' than most people when I speak/type) but you are wasting your life over a 9 month relationship that happened over 10 years ago. You gotta let go and move on. Go out and have fun, meet a chick you have things in common with and build yourselves a future.
     
  4. Midnight

    Midnight Nerdicon

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    I'm sorry you'r feelings were hurt but c'mon dude. Why let people like that win?!

    If someone has a problem with the choices you make, they can go to hell.
    There was nothing wrong with you'r situation and you let them walk all over you.

    Just, frickin, what the hell man?!

    I can't tell you what to feel, but damn dude. That's really screwed up.

    Sorry for the rant. Racism boils my blood.
     
  5. Gigatron_2005

    Gigatron_2005 President of Calendars

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    Why did you listen to a bunch of racists?
     
  6. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    A lot of us have made decisions based on peers' comments or whatnot. I liked a friend of my sister when I was in Jr. high, she was a figure skater :drool: , but for some reason I broke it off before it started after an awesome day together, all because of others' opinions. You live, you learn.

    And I'm not trying to troll, but group therapy? Seriously?
     
  7. McBradders

    McBradders James Franco Club! Moderator

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    He was a fucking kid, are y'all really that reading impaired?

    I'm sure all you idiots are completely guilt free of doing anything dumb when you were a kid too, right? Right?

    smh

    As I said elsewhere; the TFW2005 advice train is fucking stupid.
     
  8. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    not therapy guilty...shit
     
  9. McBradders

    McBradders James Franco Club! Moderator

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    Well he did say "other things" too... snowball effect...

    Besides, your advice is usually sound ;) 
     
  10. blumpy2000

    blumpy2000 PENGUINS CAN'T FLY!!!

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    You had me at "I had to restrain her from throwing a rock at a near by duck."

    You lost me when I realized that was 13 years ago. I've broken off relationships for petty reasons and I've regretted it too, but seriously, this occurred waaaaay too long ago to keep dwelling on it. It's really not healthy. Sorry for being blunt, but you're obsessing for no reason. Deal with it and move on, she has.

    I realize that, but 13 years of moping about it? Yeah, that's normal. Come on...
     
  11. Draven

    Draven Banned

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    You were a kid, and you did something stupid because a bunch of utter assholes who you thought were your friends basically bullied you into it.
    It happens.
    The fact that you still feel so bad about it 13 years later says a hell of a lot about you, and it's saying good things. I would say that you have tortured yourself enough though.
    As for never loving anyone that much again, I used to say that. I didn't think that I would ever care a fraction as much for anyone again after my last breakup. I didn't even think I wanted to. Guess what? I'm getting married in a few months to someone I would gladly lay my life down for.
    There's no reason to let this ruin your life any longer, man. Let it go, and live.
     
  12. Erector

    Erector I ruined the Hall of Fame

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    Draven speaks the truth. Best advice by far, I suggest you take it.
     
  13. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    The amazing thing is that the stupidity in the advice is growing exponentially.
     
  14. General Magnus

    General Magnus Da Custodes of the Emprah

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    I know I have.. I kick myself every now and then for that.. *sigh*
     
  15. Riltht

    Riltht Full-Time Doomsayer

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    Draven's advice is the advice to follow here.
     
  16. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

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    Find her on Facebook. Have some coffee or something.
     
  17. Prowl

    Prowl Well-Known Member

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    My problem is that the stupid shit I did when I was a kid still outbalances the good shit I've done recently, lol

    I agree with the Omegatron1, who said look her up on facebook. You never know. I know I've caught up with some people from my past, and rekindled some old friendships.
     
  18. darkmgmstr

    darkmgmstr Blue Lantern Corps Member

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    *sigh* Don't you love it when a**h***s ruin it for you? I agree with everyone who says to take Draven's advice. I say just learn from that experience. If you do get into another relationship, it will be challenged by others. They'll try their best to break it up for their own selfish deeds and just to see you miserable. Just remember why you are going out with someone so you can defend against peer pressure. Don't beat yourself up too much about it. We do stupid stuff as kids.

    I'd remember back in high school how I got with one of my best friends and there was this one guy who was taunting me about our relationship because she wasn't good looking. On top of that, her other best friend got jealous of the time she was spending with me. Let's just say that every time that same guy brought up our relationship, I didn't deny it. Why be embarrassed about it? As for her friend, she managed to break us up due to lies and rumors she was spreading about me. I was unaware until my other friends alerted me about it. Fortunately, she found out about the deception and we patched things up one day over the phone. We remained good friends as we graduated from HS.
     
  19. Darkravager

    Darkravager Zombie Hunter

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    You're in therapy after a 9 month long relationship that happened when you were in friggin Grade School over a decade ago?! Holy crap man. If you don't think you can ever love someone else like you loved when you were a child, that's pretty sad. Aside from not knowing why you felt the need to post that on the internet, I certainly hope that you can move on with your life because it's certainly time to do just that.
     
  20. rattrap007

    rattrap007 Insert witty comment here TFW2005 Supporter

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    great advice.

    Like he said right now you still think about her. But there is someone out there for you who you might love even more. You said grad school, so I'm guessing somewhere between 10-13 years old. You were kids! It has been 13 years. Open up to the possibility of other people.

    Yeah you did the wrong thing, but look at it from the perspective of the age you were. At that age peer pressure is huge. You caved to it. It is very difficult at a young age to stand up to it. You realize it was a mistake. You learned from it. You will find someone else. just let your heart be open to the possibilites of someone new.
     
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