Trust me life is easy compared to after college. I sometimes wish I could go back to highschool. I miss a lot of my old fiends at times. We are now all scattered all over the country. Trust me it's easy till you need to start paying for housing and other frequent bills. right now you have a lot of options, you can easily make plans and adjust your options. Once your options become financially based they are much more limited. I miss the days when all I had to worry about was a test.

 

You don't sound like someone with high self-esteem. You sound like someone with low self-esteem who's trying desperately to NOT have it by expecting 'the best' out of everything, aka for everything you want to go as exactly as you think it should.

If you had high self-esteem, things outside of you wouldn't bother you so much and you would find it easier to roll with the punches instead of taking things personally. Things are shitty in life. Things will get so shitty at points you may consider that it would be better to be dead. Things are also good in life. And amazing things will happen to you. That see-saw IS life...learn to ride it and have some fun.

--Moony

 

And this is a great example on what not to do.

To the OP, you've mentioned having high expectations. It doesn't hurt to have such expectations as long as they're reasonable; nothing too crazy or out there. As many have already said, being prepared for any potential bad outcomes doesn't really hurt in the long run. And yes, life does have its shitty moments where you just want to give up, don't. Power through and/or at least deal with the problem or issue at hand in a responsible way, don't just give up or lower your expectations. Also, you're not in this alone, you have friends (and by friends I mean true friends) and family to give you support. Anyone who's older than you will have most likely been through the same problems that you're going through (as many other posters have already given out), and as a result will be able to give actual advice (most of which I wholeheartedly agree with and this is coming from a 16 yr old). The most important thing is that you're still growing up. Screw ups, mistakes, and shit will happen, it's whether or not if you're able to learn from said mistakes. Work toward your goal in life and adjust it as necessary, don't just let it fall by the wayside.

 

Minty and the OP need to get psychiatrist/laid

 

Tfw teens y u so emo?  

Moonscream has a point, if u have good self esteem u should be alright when stuff dont roll your way, so OP might have meant something else.

 

Where's Captain Bright Noah and his brightslap when you need it?  

 

Being a teenager is living in a frustrating gulf between knowing what you want and having the freedoms to get it. Its a period where the protection and care by our parents beings to diminish, in order to allow us more self-sustainability, but by the very nature of life this also exposes us to a world of trouble we simply haven't been exposed to before. It also exposes us to situations where we simply haven't learned the self-control, responsibility, or coping mechanisms necessary to deal with things yet.

So that being said, here's some advice re: expectations

1) Don't lower them, but be ready to modify them. We should always have high expectations, especially for ourselves. However, at the same time, we should be aware that things can go wrong, both in and outside of our control, and sometimes our plans to meet those expectations, or the goals themselves, may need to change in order to be feasible. At the same time, realize that you will change as well, your situation and your outlook will alter over the years, and what's most important to you now might not be the case 25 years down the road. Above all other things, aim to be happy.

2) Set YOUR OWN expectations, in a very literal sense. We are bombarded, as adults, teenagers, and children, by a constant stream of messages in media and culture, and from those around us, that tell us who we should be, how we should act, what we need to do or think or (most importantly) buy to have worth as human beings. Fuck that shit. In the long run, the only person who can tell you what you need to do to be happy is YOU. The only person who can tell you what career or hobbies or lifelong passions are going to leave you fulfilled is YOU. Most importantly, the only person who can tell you what your own limitations are, what you can achieve, is YOU. Do some introspection. Meditate upon the questions "What do I want?" "Why?" "What will make me happy?" "Why?" "What is standing between me and my happiness?" "Why?" and hopefully you can figure out what do next. If things don't work out, you're not locked in, especially at your age. Remember that. You don't have to keep walking down a path you no longer enjoy, even if you feel you've sunk in a lot of effort already.

3) To chase your dreams, you have to be willing to run. Just as you are the only one who can tell what will bring you happiness, the only one who can achieve that happiness for you is YOU. You need to be willing to do what it takes, to make the sacrifices and pay the price of getting what you want, whatever that may be. And for this reason, you better try and be sure what you want is worth that price to you. You can't sit here and complain about how shit isn't fair, you have to go and either make it over, around, or through those barriers. You can't put the onus for your happiness, by blame, by hope, or by expectation, on anyone else but yourself. If you don't like where you are or what your life is right now, IT IS UP TO YOU TO TRY AND CHANGE IT. You can't expect to be happy, now or 50 years from now, unless you're willing to fight tooth and nail to get the things you want, to fail a million times and to get up a million and one. Be confident in your dreams, be brave in your pursuit, and above all else, be relentless in your determination.

So that's basically how I see it. For both the OP and Minh'T and every other poster making threads fishing for sympathy. Growing up, you have just begun to feel the pain and disappointment the world can heap on you. But at the same time, there's an entire universe of beauty, joy, and wonder just waiting for you to grab it, if you're willing to reach. Get up, get out, get going.

 

Beautifully said man, I wholeheartedly agree.

 

I remember being a teenager and thinking that every little thing that happened was the worst thing in the world. The I grew up, got married, had a kid, etc. Your frustrations go up 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 percent when you become an adult and you yearn for the days when the worst thing that happened to you was that you got grounded, or someone you had a crush on didn't know you existed or whatever...and I feel like I have it relatively stress free for an adult...

 

I really dunno why but everytime i expect so much about something, it fell apart. But if i forget everything, low down my expectation and let things go whatever it want, everything turn out to be great. My point is let things go whatever it want and u won't be dissapointed

 

And this is where "learning from your mistakes" comes in.

At that point, all you're doing is just shielding yourself from the world. But if that works for you, than so be it. Now, I rather not continue this disagreement as we're trying to help out the OP, not debate over our differences in our personal lifestyles.

To the OP, many of us have posted, in my honest opinion, great advice (many of which I've followed since the beginning of middle school). But it all comes down to this, it's your life and you're the one who's going to decide how you want to live it.
That said, best of luck and I really do hope you'll find the answer you're looking for.  

 

This image belongs in this thread:

 

Just going to say if it hasn't been said. If you set too high expectations in life, you are going to be disappointed far too often.

 

This. If I fully expect everything to turn to crap, then I'm not usually upset when it does--and when the result is neutral or better, I feel AWESOME about it. The skill is learning to do that and not get depressed or give up without trying. Expect the results of not trying to be even worse.

 

Thanks everyone for the advice. I've learned a lesson from these educational posts. thanks  

 

Does that make me more lucky that I am about to turn 25?

 

^ Very lucky. You don't have to deal with ANYTHING because you're not 16 years old.

 

Exactly. It's nothing but smooth sailing & strawberries onward. So glad to be over that hump.


... joking aside though, they have a point. Life might expand when we get older, but many of us also become a lot better equipped to deal with it, and not being in high school anymore can be a huge relief as well.

 

Suggestion:


Get this poster or find it on the web because it comes in handy:

Peter's Laws: The Creed of the Sociopathic Obessive Compulsive.

Don't let the title fool you, there are some good rules to live by it.

Email me and tell me what you think about it.

 

This isn't my problem personally, but on the topic of low expectations, what are your opinions on expectation so low that you don't want to grow up, and that you just want to live with your parents for the rest of your life?