Should I be pissed at my friend?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DX7879, Aug 30, 2008.

  1. DX7879

    DX7879 Captain of Strawhats

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    Story time...

    Me and a friend made a deal two weeks ago. He wanted me to go to church, and I needed help cleaning and organizing my basement. Originally I was going to buy him dinner or lunch if he helped me out, but he really needed me to go that Sunday (17th) since it was take a friend to church day. I offered to go another time, but he needed it that day. I didn't want to go since I worked Saturday morning at 6am, and I knew I would only get about 4 hours of sleep Saturday night/Sunday morning. So the deal was I go to church he helps me clean.

    My friend has a problem with keeping promises, and I wanted him to help me clean first and then go to church the week after. From past experiences I knew I shouldn't do favors for him first, but he said he "changed" and now keeps promises. I ended up going, but he didn't keep his end of the deal. The main reason he wanted me to go (at least I think) is because his ex-girlfriend's dad is the pastor and he wanted to make a good impression (they're still friends) by bringing a friend when they wanted people to. He's always saying how great the church is and the pastor is so good at preaching. I think the main reason he likes it so much is because of the girl, but he says different. I have never heard anyone say that "would love to introduce them to everyone because they are the best parents in the world. plus, everyone here is just awesome". He posted that on a bulletin on Friday, and he knows that the one girl would most likely read it since she goes on myspace so much.

    While at work last Saturday at about 11am, he texted me saying that he couldn't come because he didn't feel good. Sure I was a little pissed, but I texted him back asking him when would be good then. No response, so I called him after work at about 2pm, and still no response. My other friend called him since he owed him money, and my one friend did pick up. Not only did my "sick friend" pick up, but he also asked my other friend if he wanted to go to some festival thing by where they live. The only thing I got from my friend was on myspace saying that "i dont feel like talking right now.
    dont feel so good". He still hasn't told me the new cleaning date yet at this point. I even called him later on, and he picked up and hung up. For the most part I would have been more satisfied with some response answering my question. I don't doubt he was sick, but he should have at least called or something.

    My "sick friend" ended up going to that carnival like festival that night even though he was "sick". I IM'd him a few days later to discuss all this. He was just saying how he ate some bad food the day before, and felt better around 4pm that night. He was also saying how he had a lot of expenses and didn't have enough money for gas and apologized for acting like a jerk. I figure I should probably forgive him, but needed some more time. Then this past Friday, he posted a bulletin on myspace saying how he was going to his parent's house and that they were going to the beach Saturday, and then going to church on Sunday. After church he was going to treat them to ice cream.

    Here's the thing though, his parents live 8 minutes away from me, and he said the week before he had no money. He got paid the week before, so unless he magically gained some money, he contradicted himself and lied to me.

    So which would be the best option?
    A. Forgive him since people make mistakes
    B. Stay pissed at him for a while and see where it goes
    C. I deserve better, and shouldn't be friends with him
    D. Give him one last chance
    E. Other

    Keep in mind that this isn't the first time he has done something like this too. This is about the 4th or 5th time. He has borrowed money from me (and others) and not paid back when he said so. He also has had many things "come up" and couldn't make it the day of something planned.

    I have also done a whole lot of crap for him through the years including letting him borrow money, driving him to school (while in high school), drove him to get 3 out of his 5 cars he has had, drove him to countless places when he had no car, got him a job (which he stole from), gave him idea of where to apply for another job (knew the manager there), gave him free car washes, let him sleep a my house for a week when his parents kicked him out, drove him to work when his parents wouldn't, and probably some more things

    That was long...cookie for those who read through it all
     
  2. red00wolf

    red00wolf insatiable collector

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    kick his ass then be done with him.
     
  3. QuantumShock

    QuantumShock Stay for brunch ?

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    It's amazing you have the patience for him. Would have cut off all the communication from him, or giving him the same excuse as he did to others. And again, your "friend", your choice.
     
  4. soundwave86

    soundwave86 Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like a fair weather friend. Someone who only talks to you when they need something. Not good dude.
     
  5. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    ...I'm confused.

    Here's what you do... go record you banging the chick he's interested in and then send the tape to him.
     
  6. wheeljaxx

    wheeljaxx Banned

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    church does bad things to people. LOL
     
  7. Insane Galvatron

    Insane Galvatron is not insane. Really!

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    :lol  LOL, I can't help but laugh at that post.


    Seriously, I'd stay his friend, but just keep asking him about when he's gonna help you. I don't think he's actually a Christian ( you know a tree by it's fruit ) based on how he's acting, but since he goes to church, you can also remind him that Jesus wants us to keep our promises. "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no".
     
  8. DX7879

    DX7879 Captain of Strawhats

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    Lol, he lives about 40 minutes away. Once my other somewhat close friend get back from his trip, I'll ask his opinion. I know if I ask my friend that was asked to go that fest thing, he would say that I should be pissed but forgive him

    Funny that the other friends he asks to borrow money from are all people he hang out with because of me...I do know I will never let him borrow money at all

    He did say he would help me the following Saturday through another crappy myspace message, but with my other friend coming back, I don't need his help. Plus, it might be safer to have someone I can trust help me.

    BTW, I requested that Saturday afternoon off of work to clean too...I ended up cleaning a little. Wanted to get it done before school started
     
  9. AnimatedFan

    AnimatedFan Banned

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    That's horrible.



















    AND IT MAKES ME LAUGH. Do this. Dooo eet.
     
  10. RHansen

    RHansen Sir. Ranbotnic Veteran

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    what are you, 12? then again, maybe you are...

    call the fucker out on his bullshit and be done with it
     
  11. Poho

    Poho That's MISTER Poho to you

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    C is your best option. this guy sounds like a tool. here's what i would do:

    don't talk to him. don't make it obvious that you're ignoring him, but try to keep your distance. if it really bothers him, then you should take him aside and say "listen bitch" and tell him he needs to stop being a jerkface. if it doesn't bother him, he's not worth your time.
     
  12. Poho

    Poho That's MISTER Poho to you

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    no, church does bad things to little boys.
     
  13. lars573

    lars573 Well-Known Member

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    This guy is a user. Of people that is, if he wasn't such a sleaze you might call him a mooch. Not mention a liar, and a cheat.

    A. No, absolutly not. Letting him away with it is just going to encourage it.
    B. This wouldn't make a difference. He appears, from your statements, to have zero ability to consider others feelings.
    C. An option you should always consider.
    D. See B.

    This guy is never going to change. He will always try and get something for nothing from people. He will lie and cheat to get that too. Make this series of events his last chance. Which he proved nothing changed. Now when ever you deal with him use tit for tat. If you give another favor get your favor first. If he tries to weasel out, don't keep your word either.

    Lets take your current example to illustrate what I mean by tit for tat. He wanted you to go to his church, you wanted some help cleaning. When he failed to show up (and as far as you can tell did something else and lied to you), you should have stayed in bed sunday morning. When he called to ask what happened, you say I was too tired I slept in.
     
  14. Rodimus Major

    Rodimus Major Custom User Title

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    I say stop being his friend now, before it ends up costing you more. I had a friend like that once, always borrowing things and asking favors, and a compulsive liar. He won't change, and the longer you put up with it, the more they think they can get away with. I seriously don't know what's wrong with people like that.
     
  15. DX7879

    DX7879 Captain of Strawhats

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    I have called him out on his lies, and tore him apart on AIM badly. The thing is though, he keeps apologizing (no phone call or in person) and like I said I was thinking about forgiving him until I saw his myspace bulletin which said

    "Going to my parents place friday after work. my sis is going to be there also. so, on saturday we are going downtown to the lake to take a swim and have fun. then, on sunday i will be taking them to church. i would love to introduce them to everyone because they are the best parents in the world. plus, everyone here is just awsome. lastly, i would love to take them to OLLIES for some ice cream and custard.
    i am so freakin EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    I like how he magically has money, and is now claiming his parents are awesome when they kicked him out...

    It's not like he hasn't done anything for me though (trying to post that he has done some stuff). He sold me his old stereo and helped me hook it up (think he needed money), he did buy me dinner once when he had a giftcard from work, sold me his old laptop since he can't use wireless at his new place, got me and the rest of his friends a chirstmas present last year, his dad helped me fix my sister's computer when the motherboard got fried (took a while though).

    If it seems like he has done a lot for me, trust me I have done a lot more for him.
     
  16. Harbinger

    Harbinger ecnayonnA

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    yeah pretty much this is my conclusion too and response

    i also like this. be interesting to see the tit for tat thing working after this tape being listened too, or his expression.
     
  17. Rodimus Major

    Rodimus Major Custom User Title

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    "It's not like he hasn't done anything for me though (trying to post that he has done some stuff). He sold me his old stereo and helped me hook it up (think he needed money),"

    There you go, it was more for him getting money, helping you was just a side effect it seems.

    "he did buy me dinner once when he had a giftcard from work"

    Gifcard didn't cost him anything. A free way to make sure he has a way to say "I do somethings for you!"

    "sold me his old laptop since he can't use wireless at his new place,"

    Again, he got money and couldn't use it anyway. Helping you was a side effect.

    "got me and the rest of his friends a chirstmas present last year"

    That was nice, as far as I can see.

    " his dad helped me fix my sister's computer when the motherboard got fried (took a while though)."

    His dad helped, not him. So that's just basically him getting a favor from someone else.
     
  18. Seth Buzzard

    Seth Buzzard R.I.P. Buzzbeak Content Contributor

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    Go to his pastor and rat him out. Make him look bad and hopefully the pastor will gilt him into helping you, if he wont then he will look even worse. Once the work is done stop talking to him. If he really wants to be you're friend he'll try to make it up to you if not then screw him... not literally.
     
  19. Rodimus Major

    Rodimus Major Custom User Title

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    Or do it, but don't call him the next day.
     
  20. Seth Buzzard

    Seth Buzzard R.I.P. Buzzbeak Content Contributor

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    And try to get an STD first so you can pass it to him.
     

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