Rock and A Hard Place

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by graymer, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. graymer

    graymer Well-Known Member

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    Okay. I need some advice. I've asked my family, friends, and coworkers who the information is safe with and I still don't know what to do.

    To keep it as short as possible, I am looking at potentially doing long distance with my partner of 10 years for just 2 years. She recently finished her PhD and has taken a 2 year contract position in Los Angeles. We currently live in Portland, Oregon.

    I have been at my current company for 3 years. I graduated in '07 as a Secondary Ed teacher but went to the private sector in '09 after subbing for nearly 2 years in school districts that had to fire instead of hire. I am a Project Specialist in our internal Project Management department. My boss has been telling me since the beginning of the year that a promotion would be on the horizon at some point this year, which may make this whole process more bearable. But nothing has happened yet. There are signs of things in the works through meetings with our HR department and stuff, but it is very slow moving.

    I have been applying for jobs in LA since April and have had only one interview. I'm not sure if I should quit and move with her with no prospects, or stay and tough it out.

    TLDR: Been dating my girlfriend for 10 years and she's moving to LA for a temporary, 2-year job. We live in Portland, OR. Don't know whether to leave my job to go with or stay and tough it out.
     
  2. Big Dawg

    Big Dawg Well-Known Member

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    I'd move- it's LA after all
     
  3. megatroptimus

    megatroptimus Translatorminator

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    Weird, I just posted about Aerosmith and thought you were talking about their old album (actually titled Rock in a Hard Place).
     
  4. Razerwire

    Razerwire 99 Problems... Super Mod

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    I'd try the long distance thing first. You seem to have a steady job and it would suck to have to give that up to move to LA where your partner's only going to be for a two year contract. Once that contract is up, who knows where you guys will be afterwards.

    I do have to say that long distance isn't for everyone though. If you two are attached at the hip, then by all means move to LA. If you guys don't mind seeing each other, say, once every few months, then the long distance thing shouldn't be a problem.

    Would she move back to Portland after her contract is up or would it depend on where her next contract is located? If she's going to move back to Portland, I'd say stay put.
     
  5. transtrekkie

    transtrekkie On the level.

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    Yeah, what razerwire said.
     
  6. jgoss

    jgoss transformers fan 4 life

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    i'd stay where you are california is in tough shape
     
  7. 03Mach1

    03Mach1 Reason Has No Voice

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    Long distance never works. Move or move on.
     
  8. Sy-Rein

    Sy-Rein Rogue Stunticon

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    I agree with Razerwire on this.

    Yeah, it's tough doing the long distance thing but if you are good together, does the distance really matter? You've got a good job now and I never recommend moving anywhere unless you already have work lined up. And like RW said, who knows whats going to happen after your gf's 2yr contract is up.

    Oh and if I can make it to California in a day from BC, then it'd be pretty easy to drive down from OR to CA for a weekend once a month or something (or she drives up to OR).
     
  9. Razerwire

    Razerwire 99 Problems... Super Mod

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    Actually it can work. Just depends on the people and the effort they're willing to put into the relationship.
     
  10. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    Stay there til you can get a transfer or job prospects down here. Jobs are kind of hard to come by down here.
     
  11. MTME

    MTME Well-Known Member

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    I am a secondary teacher in LA. I am in music & theater where my job is the first to get the axe and VERY frequently has. I am currently jobless (though for health reasons) however I have taught for 11 years in CA and have lost my job to the budget 7 times.

    HOWEVER, there are other teaching job in more demand, math, special ed for example are in shortage here in CA, what is your teaching credential in?

    Have you been to edjoin.org? Many people outside CA don't know about it. It is a state database where every school district in the state of CA advertise their teaching positions AND you apply through edjoin!

    Check it out California's premiere online job search site | EDJOIN.org

    PLus don't just look at LAUSD, there are literally hundreds of districts in the LA area that are commutible. Where exactly in LA are you moving to?

    ALso beware, schools here start the first week of August so you are running out of time however usually every school district is hiring subs.
     
  12. transtrekkie

    transtrekkie On the level.

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    Really? Talk to fellow board members JazzHunter83 and Fatal T 71.
     
  13. graymer

    graymer Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the feedback so far everyone.

    In terms of her work after the 2 years, she may have the opportunity to come back to Portland and work for her mentor. Funding is tight across the sciences in general, but I feel she wouldn't have to worry in this particular situation.
     
  14. Razerwire

    Razerwire 99 Problems... Super Mod

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    If that possibility is high, I'd just stay put in Portland and try the long distance thing. Again, the long distance thing isn't for everyone so be forewarned. If you two are very close and confident in your relationship, the the long distance thing is worth a try. If you two miss each other, Southwest plane tickets should be relatively cheap to buy for visits.
     
  15. GAUGE

    GAUGE Transformers Fan since 1985

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    Stay where you are, and be sure and get yourself a webcam for Skyping.

    If you guys truly love eachother, you'll make it work. besides it's not like you guys can't fly and see eachother. worst thing you can do is panic.

    And following other people's advice on boards like this is just foolish. This is something you need to be discussing with her and her alone.

    You know in your heart what to do already. what your looking for is validation, to see if what we say is matching up with what your already thinking.

    10 years is a long time. I've been with mine for 9 now and believe me. we aren't going anywhere. so neither are you 2.

    2 years is nothing. you can always see eachother on cam, and fly and see eachother on days off via flying and such. shit will work, but you have to make it work.
     
  16. graymer

    graymer Well-Known Member

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    You are correct, Gauge. I am, more or less, looking for validation.

    The plan is probably going to be to tough it out via long distance. We already have purchased webcams for Skype and will be diligent about scheduling off weekends once a month visiting one another.

    In the meantime, I'll be searching in LA for something. Looking at the long-term, 2 years is a long time. We've been living together for 5 years now, so our lives are very much intertwined.

    In the end, I don't feel our relationship will suffer. However, it will definitely be a test.
     
  17. megatroptimus

    megatroptimus Translatorminator

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    If you dial 1 before the number long distance can work.
     
  18. MTME

    MTME Well-Known Member

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    do it fast, majority of schools here start the new teacher training August 1st.
     
  19. Satomiblood

    Satomiblood Prototype Black

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    Doesn't mean it'll work for everyone.
     
  20. transtrekkie

    transtrekkie On the level.

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    No, but it does disprove your theory that it NEVER works. And really, that's all I was going for.
     

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