Relationships suck!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Hybrid Prime, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. Hybrid Prime

    Hybrid Prime Banned

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    Yeah,I know what you mean by leaving friends and stuff out of it.They always give the wrong advice or are just trying to move in for a little R&R themselves lol.Alot of you have good points about the blame game ect.Personally I thin the attachment to her daughter is that she is still infatuated with her dad but he don't have anything to do with her.Personally,I think it would be better for me to just leave and leave her everything.If not for her at least her kids.They should not have to be stuck out in the cold becuase of a choice there mother made.

    Although I do think it would be wrong to take the 2 boys away from her too.I want to be there everyday for them but if we split up most likely the courts would say every other weekend visitation.That I could not live with.I do already have legal joint custody of my first boy so I could just get up and go with him but they would not be fair to take him away from his brother.If I could get a judge to say every weekend visits and get to take them out at least 1 or 2 weeknights I could live with that.Or vise versa for her.There are just so many factors involved and pros and cons it is just hard to try to fathom all the out comes and make the right decisions to keep the best interest of the children.

    I have sat and talked with her.Love has never really been the issue mostly disagreements on structure and how kids should be raised.I'm leanant with games and fun time as long as home work and chores are done.She seems to think games are worse then drugs.Alot of you are right girls don't want Mr. nice guy.Infact I was a bad boy when we first met and retained that image for the longest time.I think it was the kids that changed me.Thus I lost the desired image in the eye of the beholder.

    She could very well be having post pardom depression.She has an appointment next month for follow up.But she does not take the meds because it affects the baby getting her breast milk.We contacted the pharmacy and they said the same thing don't take if breast feeding.

    But I'm not going to set around and get all depressed myself over some dumb s%$t.At least anything we can still be friends for the sake of the kids.I believe everything happens for a reason and maybe this would be a good chance to heal my body and mind.(developed high blood pressure and anxiety from alot of stress)Anyways guys and gals thanks for listening.It does good to vent a bit and hear what unknown 3rd parties have to say.

    I agree that not every woman out there is crazy but it seems all the ones I've met are lol.;) 
     
  2. Alex5

    Alex5 No Broken

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    I assume you have had good times in the past to have stayed together for this long, and for you to have put so much effort in to trying to hold everything together up until now, and you say love has never been an issue between you. When did everything change? Since the last child? Have there always been unresolved issues, or have all the little things (which everyone has in their relationships - it's the acceptance of these things that is part of the bond) only really become an issue recently? She may be far from thinking clearly and with time to sort out her issues (post-natal depression drugs that you can't take having given birth seem ridiculous), maybe that and time apart will show her how much she had taken you for granted.

    You are lucky to have been able to have sensible conversations about it all, at least if she's accepting that the birth has affected her in some way it will be better for her, the kids, and you, in the long term. Seems like you have really tried everything, good on you for stepping up and putting the interests of your kids and her at the top of your priorities. But if it's affecting your health you have done the right thing in taking a step back for now, relationships don't work if you aren't both putting in. It's a shitty time of year for this too, don't let that make it worse. If you have custody of one of your sons, it would surely strengthen your case if it came to that, but to be honest it sounds like she may need you around even if that isn't how it seems just now, depression can be very hard on someone. Get out of dodge, let things cool for a week or so, then talk to her again properly. Don't do/say anything regrettable. It's her issue though, not yours man.
    Chin up dude and even if it doesn't work out you still have your sons that love and need you.

    Don't listen to me though I'm single, lol!