Relationship question

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by matrixprime, Aug 11, 2009.

  1. matrixprime

    matrixprime AJ's Toy Chest Owner

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    I've been in a committed relationship for the past 3 years now and everything has been going late until recently. My girlfriend is wanting that next step in our relationship, but I being the sensible person that I am have pushed that off until we finish college and can afford our own place together much less the next step. As a side effect of this the sex has dried up faster than a watering hole in the sahara.

    My question to you, fellow tfw'ers, how do I tell her to put out nicely or GTFO? Sledge, I'm looking at you!
     
  2. maninthebox94

    maninthebox94 Banned

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    Well, sledge would say something about doing her in the pooper :) . So anyway, from the sounds of it, she doesn't understand what you are wanting, so if you can, try and get your point across in another way. And i'm guessing you need some poon, so you need to get to work fast. Depending on how much longer you have in collage plays a role also. What exactly is this "next step"? Marrige? It almost sounds as if you are using her for her "special place". So anyway, tell her the next step is coming, just that its taking a bit longer, put it off a little longer, so on and on, until you are ready.

    That wasn't much help lol.
     
  3. TfAnimatedfan

    TfAnimatedfan Five. Dollar. Headband.

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    Stick HER in YOUR pooper.


    I love the amount of people that come to TFW looking for relationship advice :) 
     
  4. matrixprime

    matrixprime AJ's Toy Chest Owner

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    It's not so much as using her or needing her, just kind or let down that it used to be a regular thing and now its not. We've discussed marriage and moving in and all that fun stuff, but she's starting graduate school and I am finishing my BA. It's not the best timing, and to make matters worse for me, several of our friends have taken that next step moving out, engagement, and even have gotten married. So the question is what do I do?
     
  5. matrixprime

    matrixprime AJ's Toy Chest Owner

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    Yeah I know its cheesy, but I figure people who have the same hobby in common might have similar and disssimilar insight.
     
  6. Kickback

    Kickback Proud father Administrator Super Mod News Staff

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    Decide if she's the one or not. If she is, go for it. If she's not, then stop wasting both your time. That, or say "anal or no marriage" next time you're in bed.
     
  7. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Girls want commitment before they will put out. You may thing that you are in a committed relationship, but she just looks at it like you are using her for teh sex. If you guys are in collage she is seeing her friend get engaged and hopes for that connection and future with her current fella...you.
    So you need to figure some things out.
    1. Is this girl marriage material?
    2. Are you ready for Marriage.
    3. Is there a chance to stick it in her pooper?

    If so then get off then fence and talk next steps. If not then end it; it is unfair to string her along.
     
  8. Poho

    Poho That's MISTER Poho to you

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    live with her for a bit before you poop the question.






    that's right. poop.
     
  9. maninthebox94

    maninthebox94 Banned

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    Man, timing there is really fucked up man. If you love her really man, go for it, if you think that you would be happier with someone else or you can't handle her right now, say you're sorry and goodbye.
     
  10. maninthebox94

    maninthebox94 Banned

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    i wish we could turn your posts into cereal, "instand win flakes" becasue that is instant win kicky
     
  11. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    You actually think you'll get more sex if you get married? Cut the ties man, get out while you have an out!
     
  12. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

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    Leave porn at her place til she gets the hint. Make sure to dog-ear pages with specific ideas. She'll definitely go for that.
     
  13. red4

    red4 Banned

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    I have words of wisdom, but no one will care to heed them. Regardless, most of what I say goes unheeded, so adding a lint to the bonfire won't hurt anything.

    My advice: Reprogram yourself to not make sex be an issue. Focus on why you're with this girl. Once you've got a footing in that, try explaining to her that just because her friends are "taking the next step" all around her, it doesn't mean she has to feel pressured or rushed. Tell her that if she is feeling pressured or rushed by what her friends are doing then she's missing the point of marriage. Give her the example of her first friend who took the plunge. Was that first friend pressured and rushed by being the first one? Did this friend look around and say "Oh crap, nobody around me is getting married! I better break the cycle!".
     
  14. Kickback

    Kickback Proud father Administrator Super Mod News Staff

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    You suck at grammar. I call shenannigans, you copy/paster.
     
  15. comaface

    comaface Crush, kill, destroy

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    If "the next step" is marriage, then consider the lack of sex to be a preview of things to come.

    Generic marriage jokes about which I have absolutely no firsthand experience now out of the way, I'd suggest talking to her, not people on the internet.
    Don't approach it from the angle of 'why aren't we fucking anymore?', but rather in a way that suggests you're concerned about what's bothering her (incidentally, it's immeasurably helpful it you actually are concerned about what's bothering her). It could be a trust issue, like she's worried that you may just be stringing her along. It could be any number of things, but you aren't going to find the solution without knowing the problem, and you're not going to determine the problem on a message board.

    You mentioned not being able to afford a place together, but where are you living right now? Unless you're both currently living at home, two people living together should really be cheaper than living separately, especially if it's two people sharing a one-bedroom place. Moving in together could be a compromise that shows you are serious about and committed to the relationship, and would also help to give you both an idea as to whether you really do want to eventually take the next next step.

    Or, I don't know, she could just be someone who uses sex as a bargaining chip, in which case I'd suggest getting the hell out.
     
  16. jorod74

    jorod74 Psycholagnist (Ret.)

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    Just look around at the people that you know are married and then think long and hard about what to do.

    it seems to be true with most high schools- right after graduation, there seems to be a race where girls try to be the first to marry, first to have kids, first to bail kid out of jail...
    My sister fell for it. And i look at her marriage and want nothing like it for me. she's married to a douchebag, her kids are so starved for attention that they'd rather stay with my folks (their grandparents) or me.
    yep, i am not wanting to rush into that.

    explain that you want to be able to provide for her before you can commit.

    but i see a warning sign. if she's gonna use teh sex as a bargaining chip all the time...
    run like hell.
    there is something so wrong about a woman who does that.
     
  17. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    I can't help but feel that you're going wrong by asking us instead of talking to her. If the next step is marriage, then explain your reasons for waiting. Don't expect this to make any difference, women don't use or understand logic, so be prepared to calmly explain this a lot. You'll probably find the most effective way to do this is to point out that waiting until your finances are secure and stable means she will be able to have a bigger, more impressive "big day" to lord it over her friends with. This is more important to her than you realise. When explaining this, do not, I repeat DO NOT, mention the part about being able to lord it over her friends. Women like to think they're the more intelligent, complex sex. She will hate the thought that you actually understand her petty desire to outdo her friends.

    Incidentally, have any of her friends got married recently, or are they planning to? I'm gonna guess the answer to that is yes.

    The above advice does of course depend on you wanting to marry the girl, and that "the next step" does indeed refer to marriage. If "the next step" refers to her anally penetrating you, best just to bend over, bite the pillow, and get it over with. It'll stop her complaining and you might even enjoy it.
     
  18. Deceptikitty

    Deceptikitty all about the hasubandos

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    I've learned over the years on here... if you're posting on a toy robot message board asking for advice on your relationship, said relationship is already doomed.
     
  19. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Arise Rodimus Prime

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    But it makes for entertainment, let them look for advice here. It makes me feel more powerful too, it seems like the girl always has control in the relationship.

    yup yup yup
     
  20. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 "No Mas" My Wallet

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    its simple man if you love her enough to want to marry her sit down and talk things out with her and there is nothing wrong with an extended engagement, it will show your commitment to each other and give you the time you want to finnish school
     

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