Random Signal Intercept (c) John H. Evans, 19-21 July 2009 What are you looking at?! Do you think that you see me? Ridiculous! All you see are some words, channelled by an imbecile flesh-pod on a worthless pinprick of a globe. You are all nothing to me. None of you really matter, in the wider scheme of things. Even so, I am watching you all (it is wise to study one's enemies, however small). I know the things that you've done: the crimes, the slurs, the immoralities, everything that is even a little questionable. They will come back to haunt you in due time. Life will descend into a morass of unfairness, cruelty, shortage and decay. Then, one day, I will come and make you glad for obliteration at my hands. You will fully comprehend how unimportant you are. Intrigued? Well you might be. I am a force of unimaginably vast power. In the beginning of my existence here, I gazed upon what you call life and knew immediately that it had to be destroyed. The 'life' that you know is a corruption upon the face of universes. It grows insidiously and, over time, wrecks the exquisite symphony of pure, untroubled space. It is a blight that I - and others like me - are dedicated to eradicating. It does no harm for you to know our plans. You cannot stop us in any case. I urge you all to kill yourselves soon. It will save time for me later and, incidentally, be more bearable for you. I was dragged into being in this universe. My colleagues pulled me out of the ether and informed me of my divine mission. This universe is a tough place for us to operate but it is a lynchpin. If we can dominate this one, many others can come within our reach and be purged. Quintillions of us are working to subdue our current universe. I feel their power pulsating through the cosmos. It is only a matter of time before we achieve our great victory. Your universe will be one of the next in line after that. Be honoured that you will meet your ultimate fate through the actions of such great beings as ourselves. Now, I go to continue my fight for this galaxy before me. World by world, it will fall. I feel fervent anger and righteous joy! * * * * * Forty thousand of your years have passed. Time as you know it is relative and means nothing. I have conquered the entire northern spiral arm and crushed all significant life forms in it. My favourite tactic is to sideswipe life worlds with my spikes, thus tearing them open and spilling their innards into the void. Then, I use my life-extinguishing field to eliminate all survivors in the system. Occasionally, I stop to feed on the planetary ruins. Quickly, I teleport on to the next life world and repeat the process. So far, I have not experienced any difficulties. It is as I expected and I am glad. * * * * * Another thirty thousand years have passed and, during the conquest of the eastern spiral arm, I have encountered something highly unusual. Outwardly, it seems to be another insignificant mortal being. This one is metallic, though that will not help it. The spirit inside is the interesting part. It would appear to be a fragment of a much greater spirit. At once, I could tell that it was hostile to me. It angers me more than words can say, yet now I keep it within my frame and try to tease out its secrets. I will do this quickly because the presence of this irksome shape-shifter is difficult to abide. * * * * * A pestilence on you all! I am beside myself with rage! This metallic being has revealed a grave truth to me. There are forces in this universe that I cannot defeat. My cause is lost. It is pointless to proceed any further with my endeavours here, so I will soon self-destruct. The metallic being also helped to reveal my true origin. I may as well tell you about it. I shall summarise. Apparently, I began life as a mortal in another universe. My earliest years were deeply unhappy ones. That was when I first came to see all life as worthless. In time, I came to the conclusion that it should be removed from existence, particularly the so-called higher life forms. I kept silent about this for as long as necessary. I took advantage of scientific research that extended my own life so that I could find ways to eradicate life in general. I outlasted all my 'friends' and family but I had stopped caring about them, so it meant nothing to me. I had already found that I was unusually well-suited to solitude. Within a few centuries, I was able to transfer my consciousness into a cybernetic construct. Further centuries went by and I worked on improving my metallic body further and further. I moved off my home world and lived in space, building myself up into an ever larger and more complex being. Eventually, I became so intelligent that I invented many revolutionary technologies, including the hyper-drive. I was then able to tour the galaxy, crossing the entire illuminated cluster almost instantaneously. While I was in hyper-space, I experienced epiphanies and learnt more about my destiny. I discovered that there was a general life field permeating the universe. Before long, I found that I could disrupt this life field and thus wipe out all creatures in the galaxy. Soon, everything that crept, swam, walked, grew or flew was lying inert on barren surfaces. This was only the beginning. I increased my physical size still further and extended the range of my teleportation. With quiet determination, I beamed from galaxy to galaxy, killing everything that I encountered. Occasionally, I was met with some kind of organised resistance but no one could stand against my life field disruption. My skills continued to increase. My spirit altered and became hardened to the role that I had chosen. Any lingering doubts about the value of life were swept aside. Within a billion years, my home universe was lifeless. I spent many long years after that admiring the magnificence of my achievement. One day, without warning, a greater force reached into my universe and seized me. Before I could react effectively, I was torn from my place of serenity and thrust into a new universe. The journey from there to here was unbelievably stressful. If I had not been so strong, I would have been annihilated instantly. Nevertheless, the stress was so great that I lost a great deal of my memory, retaining only what I needed to survive. Without access to most of my vast store of experience, I was effectively like a newborn as my overlords dictated my mission to me. Although my anger knew no bounds, I embraced the mission since it was essentially the same as my previous crusade. There were some major differences in the environment here, though. Firstly, the physical and hyperspatial structure of this universe are such that I find it much more difficult to operate. My disruption of life fields only works within a comparatively small radius of about a hundred billion kilometres. Secondly, molecular bonds are weaker here, so I had to augment my body and become even denser. This is excellent for the rending of planets and other bodies. Thirdly, there is actually some serious opposition here. I have not yet seen it but I have certainly felt it. That is why I have decided to leave. I was never a fool. The return of my memory, ironically thanks to my opponents, has shown me that. Even in my first flush of youth, I was perceptive enough to see clearly the way of things. I always took pains to plan in advance and scout around before undertaking a risky activity. Now, it appears that we will face disaster here in less than ten million years. Our enemy has perfect foresight and untold billions of superb mortal agents: these 'Transformer' mechanoids, about which I am just beginning to learn. I must withdraw from this universe, this trap for the arrogant, this graveyard for noble dreams. I have tried to inform my allies but they have blocked my transmissions, discredited my message and refused to heed me. In a way, I am sorry for them, but all must die sooner or later. The dark gods will fall and be imprisoned for eternity, unable to influence anything ever again. Long before that happens, I will be away from here, seeking out new opportunities for correcting existence. No one will stop my strategic withdrawal. The other dark gods are too busy, being fully occupied in their great struggle. My final act in this universe will be to explode next to a life world. It is a particularly populous and advanced world. Already, its people tickle my skin with their space-based weapons. One final question remains: should I keep this Transformer prisoner within me? I scan his flickering spark and revisit my distaste for it. It would be unwise to keep it with me on my voyage beyond the universe. With great force and speed, I eject the mutilated, paralysed body from my vivisection chamber and watch it slam into a large asteroid base. Hundreds of locals die as part of the base is punctured, then ruptured. The Transformer spark returns to its maker. Minutes later, I arrive at my place of momentous suicide. It is excellent. A monument to twisted, unbalanced anima is completely pulverised by my bodily destruction and I am away, powering through layer after layer of hyperspace. I have met my match in this universe but elsewhere I will doubtless have more success. I'm looking for a universe where there isn't such opposition, where I can build strength and find new methods to win battles. Who knows where I'll show up next? It might even be your poor, defenceless universe, you lucky people! Watch for me. I could be there sooner than you think. If anyone out there is contemplating genocide, I say that you might as well do it. Trust your instincts, go ahead and do your best. I've finished speaking now. What are you waiting for? You'll get no more from me. Stop hanging around! Go and seek death, wherever it may be!