Notorious director, Uwe Boll's next game to film adaptation, Postal, is set to be the one film to take on the highly anticipated Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on May 23rd, 2008. The film, first released overseas in October of last year, is noted for its extremely crude, offensive content, and for being a film from Boll that both critics and gamers alike have praised with comments such as, "not bad". Boll seems confident that the film will be able to "crush" Indiana Jones at the box office its opening weekend. Though the prospect seems rather unlikely, only time will tell. And this makes for quite the interesting weekend for me as I am beyond hyped for both films (who isn't hyped for Indiana Jones, and I am a huge fan of the Postal games and the film looks absolutely hilarious), gonna have to make room in the ol' schedule for both that day.
Yeah, I think the film will do rather poorly at the box office as well. Quite a few things going against it: 1) It's going against Indiana Jones 2) It's Uwe Boll (though this movie is actually supposed to be rather good) 3) The controversy over the content (this could help it, but some people may opt not to see the film that opens up with a parody of 9/11)
The following is a short play in witch two studio officials named Tom and Dave discuses what to do with Postal after just viewing the film. Dave: “Wow, that was…. Really… Ouch. Tom: “You said it Dave. But the question is what are we going to do with it?” Dave: “Well we paid for it, we have to put it out. But if any one sees it we’ll never work in Hollywood again!” Tom: “Oh noes! How will I make the payments on my Tesla?” Dave: “We have to think of something…. How do you put a movie out and make sure no one sees it?” Tom: “Cast Paris Hilton as the lead?” Dave: “It’s too late for that Tom; the damn movie is already finished.” Tom: “Don’t remind me! I’m trying to forget we ever saw the accursed thing!” Dave: (Grabbing Tom and shaking him) “Get a hold of your self man!” (Dave slaps Tome across the face} Tom: “I needed that, thank you David. WAIT I got it! There is a new Indiana Jones movie coming out isn’t there? Dave: “What are you thinking Tom?” Tom: “What if… And this might sound crazy, but what if… We put this German stink burger out the same weekend?!?” Dave: “Brilliant! Tom my boy you have saved us!” Tom: “And my ridiculously expensive electric sports car!”
People need to stop posting about Boll. Just stop. It gives him power. The only way we can finally destroy him is to just ignore him.
Except Postal looks awesome. Now, I know the film (deservedly) has zero chance against Indiana Jones. But has anyone here seen the previews or read any reviews on it? Boll actually did a great job capturing the spirit of the (second) game. It's something he couldn't possibly screw up. It looks hilarious. And Buzz...that was fucking funny brah.
Me. Now that it's been confirmed as having a lead who's waaaaaaaay to fucking old for the role. I've vowed never to watch this movie, ever.
