There's wayyyyyy too many to adhere to just one, so I'll post some that've been in my head most recently.

*Trying to come up with a hook for a song to impress Puff Daddy*
Stewie: "I want to have intercouuuuuuuurse with you, intercouuuuuuuurse with you"
Brian: "Relations"


Chris: "Dad, what's the hole on top of a whale for?"
Peter: "I'll tell you what it's not for Chris, and when I do you'll understand why I'm not allowed at Sea World anymore."

Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."

Peter: "Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'"
Brian: "Peter, those are Cheerios."

*from some random commercial reference*
Wilford Brimley: "Hi. I'm Wilford Brimley and I have Diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and I took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?!"


btw that last one reminded me, do any of you guys and your buddies ever find yourselves repeating family guy quotes to eachother during random moments hanging out? Like for example whenever me or one of my roomates wake up horribly hung over and stagger to the living room we usually say "Who the hell did I hit?".