Poe's writer's workshop

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by beatnik poe, Aug 22, 2004.

  1. beatnik poe

    beatnik poe Veteran

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    AS a story board and as moderator, I'm here to help each and everyone of you writers in writing your fic's polishing them up and help you create a pice that has your unique voice and style poured into each and every letter of each and every paragraph.

    I am going to create a series of sticky's (as I think of them) to use as tools to both explore ways in which to help evocate a story idea and to also help develop both your style and voice, along with other elements such as character development, plot development and outlining of a story. Or other traits such as Script writing or dialogue writing.

    If there's anything you writers would like to see here or would like help with, post it here for me to see, and help out with, because my goal here isn't to just read your stories and critique them, I also want to help develop each and everyone of you so that you can all become world class writers, because we all have that potential, we just have to nurture it.
     
  2. jet convoy

    jet convoy Beast Wars Forever!!!

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    That's a great idea,poe.Thanks,I I just got an editor(Dio) for my Universe series but no one yet has posted what they think of my new chapter.Can you tell me what you think,poe?
     
  3. alphie

    alphie Veteran

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    It's a very good idea especially for a writer like me who needs all the help she can get. Unfortunately what I need help on is my entire 1966 story. :(  So, can't fit it onto here.
     
  4. Overlord II

    Overlord II Starscreamicon Leader TFW2005 Supporter

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    I am thinking of putting story on line culminating with the rise of my Overlord. He is a character who is based on Starscream. but I just want a critique. If it really sucks just let me know and I will trash the project. So here it is.

    Chapter 1:

    It has been generations since the creation of Cybertron. Generations of tensions between the two dominant races on the planet, the Autobots and the Decepticons. Sentinel Prime and his party consisting of Orion Pax and Magnus arrive as the Autobot faction and are waiting patiently for the Decepticon faction to arrive.

    “Orion, please inform the mediation that we are here� ordered the Autobot commander.

    Orion Pax transformed from his Cybertronian pickup truck mode and entered the building. He is a relatively young transformer, like his buddy Magnus. He sometimes dreams of great things someday. For now he is happy serving as an assistant to the great Sentinel Prime, the holder of the Matrix of leadership.

    Off in the distance three shapes zip across the sky, one a powerfully built purple cannon, an equally impressive chrome robot and a pyramid shaped jet gray accented with red and blue.

    “We are approaching the mediation site Lord Straxus�, stated the chrome robot

    “Excellent, Megatron� replied the Decepticon Leader. “Starscream, inform your cohorts to be ready�

    “Yes, my lord�

    Lord Staxus of Polyhex is the leader of the Decepticons, he is the one who rallied and unified the Decepticons to a common cause, he has his most powerful lieutenants with him. Both transformers are he required and he trusts neither of them.

    Megatron of Darkmount, rose through the ranks of the Decepticon army through power, ruthlessness and cunning. He had earned the nickname “the Slag Maker� in his province. His power is second only to that of his commander. That makes him uncomfortably nervous.

    Starscream of Tarn is the best air mode transformer on Cybertron. He has maintained his domain through the terror of the sneak attack from the skies. He commands his group known as the Seekers and all who has his enemies in fear of “death from the skies�

    Straxus believes that he can dispatch Starscream pretty easily should he have to, but he needs his ability and his troops for this assignment.

    “Arriving at the site now, my lord� Megatron breaks his commander’s train of thought as they land.

    Straxus transforms to a powerfully built robot with no discernable facial features, just a faceplate glowing yellow eyes and a crown for the top of his head. Starscream also transforms into a robot with sleek styling.

    “The Decepticons have arrived� Magnus a white Autobot with a similar appearance to that of Orion Pax notified his commander.

    “Let us hope that these negotiations are successful Magnus� the large commander said with some doubt obvious in his voice, “I have noticed that the Decepticons have been getting more aggressive lately.�

    “That is why, I wanted a security force with you� came the distant voice of Orion Pax as he approached his commander

    “Peace, must be a show of faith…and show faith we will. The effects of a large scale war on Cybertron will rock it to its foundations, Straxus knows this, and a dead husk of a world would not be worth ruling�

    “ I couldn’t agree with you more�, said a booming voice from behind the large Autobot Commander, “let us go inside to discuss terms.� The voice of the Decepticon sounded atypically cheerful, which caused a reflexive clenching of the fist of Prime’s red and blue assistant.

    “Something is up Magnus, I really don’t trust Straxus�

    “C’mon Pax, the Commander knows what he is doing. The Decepticons are more violent in nature. That is because they are built for the defense of the planet. Even they know nothing will be gained by a war.�

    As if on cue several jets, that have the same appearance of Starscream converged on the meeting. Laser fire raining down on the area.

    “It’s an attack!!!!� Orion leaped out of the way of a volley by a blue and silver seeker.

    Just leaping to cover himself, Magnus activates a communicator “ Autobot command Code Purple, Unicron One. Repeat, Code Purple, Unicorn One�

    The code of “Unicron One�, using the name of the chaos bringer is a signal that the war has begun.


    Ironhide, Kup and the rest of the security force received the code and are mobilizing to move out. Alpha Trion the wisest of advisers to Sentinel Prime watched as the younger Autobots embark on a trial that Trion had thought faded in the most distant of memories, but knew it was a matter of time before the Decepticons would make the memories a reality again.
    “Don’t worry old-timer. We are ready to go and we will kick them conniving ‘Cons across the surface of Cybertron� spouted Ironhide.

    “Don’t be so sure, remember that we were not built for combat� replied Alpha Trion.

    “But, we adapt really well. The ‘Cons will never know what hit them. Autobots Roll out!!!!� With that, the assembled Autobot Security Force changed to their vehicle modes and left for battle.


    “How could I have been so wrong?�, mused Prime for a second as he is doing his best to repel the attack. Sentinel Prime, Orion Pax, and Magnus had managed to get inside the building that was formerly used as a strong hold against the slave master of several generations ago, but the Decepticons are starting to weaken the structure. “Magnus, any word on the reinforcements?�

    “No, all I am getting is static now�

    “Wonderful.� With that, Prime noticed the firefight changing direction.

    “Eat hot laser� was the corny line he heard. Had to be Vector, the wise guy of Ironhide’s security force.

    “Vector, status report!� said Sentinel Prime.

    “It looks like a well coordinated ambush. We were lucky to sneak in.�

    Taking in the situation, Sentinel Prime considered himself very lucky to have survived this long, but with the Decepticons vastly outnumbering them and the fact that they were built primarily for war as the Autobots have not, victory will not be made today. Must safeguard the Autobots for the future as best as he can.

    “Orion Pax, come to me at once!!!!�

    “Yes Prime� the young Autobot replied.

    “Listen very carefully, I am going to give you the Matrix, make sure that it safely gets back to the council. I have been wrong all along, the Decepticons will want to rule Cybertron no matter the condition. You must fall back with as many troops that you can find to prevent this.�

    Orion Pax took the sacred Autobot relic and unknowingly made his first order as Autobot commander. “Autobots, retreat!!!!�

    “Hello Prime.� A dark and sinister voice came from behind Sentinel Prime.

    “Who? Straxus�

    “You should be so lucky� was the cold reply.

    Prime turned around just in time to see the glow on the end of Megatron’s fusion cannon.

    And he saw nothing else.
     
  5. beatnik poe

    beatnik poe Veteran

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    give a prologue, and also characterization and telling the reader who these characters are and how they look move, gestures of speech.

    Give the story more depth, because I am never one to say to someone, "keep that idea in your head since it sucks"

    If a story isn't a pearl, than one can only polish it til it shines.
     
  6. Overlord II

    Overlord II Starscreamicon Leader TFW2005 Supporter

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    Thanks, I will work on it... :cool: 
     

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