Please help me

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Rumble02, May 12, 2010.

  1. Rumble02

    Rumble02 Radicon of Obliticons

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    I just found out today that I may have a sister who is about 20 years or so older than me. I am told her name is Kim and that she lives in the Denver area with three kids. Our father is Michael Oliver. Any help on how i should go about it.
     
  2. Red Alert

    Red Alert Security

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    Hire a P.I or use one of the locator sites.
     
  3. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    Go about what? Avoiding her?
     
  4. Star Sabre James

    Star Sabre James <b>The JUICE</b> TFW2005 Supporter

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    Talk to your dad, first, to find out what the deal is. You then might want to check Facebook, because everyone is on there. You could hire a PI, but save that for last.
     
  5. Rumble02

    Rumble02 Radicon of Obliticons

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    Well i cant talk to my father about it. He has alzheimers. I just wish i had her last name.
     
  6. Digilaut

    Digilaut My name is Drift.

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    I'm slightly confused. Google tells me Michael Oliver is a former child actor, who is about 28 years old.

    THE PLOT THICKENS.
     
  7. John_Force

    John_Force 16xNHRA Funny Car Champ TFW2005 Supporter

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    Go on Facebook and look for mutual friends of your dad, assuming he has facebook. Worse case scenario, Hire a P.I.
     
  8. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

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    Is there any other family member or any friends of your family who might know the whereabouts of this sister that you possibly have? If so, try and ask them.

    Otherwise, try using a social networking site like Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter to see if you can find her... or, as a last resort, hire a P.I.
     
  9. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    Don't pick up any cougars at the bars until you find out for sure. Cause that could be awkward.
     
  10. chrisr291

    chrisr291 Master of the Unknown

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    Ebay:
    facebook, classmates or just try to find out more information from any other family members.
     
  11. E.Rabbot

    E.Rabbot Well-Known Member

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    In before 'Genetic Sexual Attraction' like in that BBC doc.
     
  12. x BlackMagnus x

    x BlackMagnus x Is not impressed

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    Yes, this^
    Do you want to find her or pretend that she never happened?:confused: 
     
  13. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

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    It sounds like the OP wants to find this possible sister of his.
     
  14. x BlackMagnus x

    x BlackMagnus x Is not impressed

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  15. Rumble02

    Rumble02 Radicon of Obliticons

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  16. x BlackMagnus x

    x BlackMagnus x Is not impressed

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    Well this should be a good start, good luck! And I was trying to refrain from the sarcasm in my other post, it was just your first post was a little vague on what you needed help with.



    BM
     
  17. crasis

    crasis Yahk Deculture!

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    [​IMG]

    He can help.
     
  18. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Ok, here is true story about what happened to me and my experience.

    About 11 years ago I was 19 and living with my Girlfriend and older brother, I was 19 he was 24. Late one night the telephone rang, on the other end was a guy asking for my brother, my girlfriend explained that he was not home and only after the guy on the other end was adamant that he needed to talk to my brother, she offered him to talk to me; he agreed.

    As soon as I started talking to this guy I knew there was something a miss, but I stayed on the line anyways. The he introduced himself as Craig, my older half brother. Apparently my Dad was married and had family before the family that I had always known and my parents kept it a secret from me. Apparently there was also another brother who was quit wealthy. We talked for a bit and agreed that we would meet up for coffee to catch up. Not sure what he wanted to catch up about, as he clearly hated the fact that I even exited, but I digress, it would have been kinda cool to meet him.

    My brother came home a bit later and I got to hit him with the Bomb shell. He was as shocked as I was, but didn't want to meet the guy. I later called my dad to see if it was true, and of course it was. When I asked why they never told me, he simply said 'Well, you didn't ask'.

    Now getting back to the moral and to the Op's question. What should you do? Not a darn thing. I never met Craig or talked to him again. Apparently reaching out to me was something that he needed to do, but I have never given another thought about it. Why? because in 19 years I have never know about this guy, why should care about him now?
     
  19. Evil Dead

    Evil Dead Well-Known Member

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    Something similar happened to me in January--my mom told me in not-the-best-of-ways, that I have an older half-sister I never knew anything about. She was given up for adoption as soon as she was born, and I went through my entire life thinking I was the only child of a single parent. And, well, half of that equation still holds true.

    But at any rate, what happened was my sister actually found us. And, turns out she lives about fifteen minutes away. And she very much wanted to know us and meet us and find out who we were and all and everything. And, my mom was so excited and she was so excited--and I wish I could have said the same for me, but I honestly had a nervous breakdown, instead.

    It was too much to handle all at once. I tend to be a rather private person and a very reclusive person, and I wasn't so fond at all of some total stranger suddenly having access to my entire life. Also-also, my mom's pretty much been like my kid for the past decade, so I couldn't help but be a bit ill and sickly over the prospects of something horrible happening to her if things didn't turn out and go well and such.

    And anyways, it felt like I didn't have any control over anything anymore. Sort of like your whole life is a lie, even though it isn't; sort of like the very ground you walk on starts to crumble and crack and fall. It--I don't know--messes you up and messes with you, and causes you to question things you previously wouldn't think twice about. All the should haves and would haves and could haves, I mean.

    Anyways, eventually I figured the best thing I could do is give it a go at contacting her directly. I felt more comfortable using email at first, and so that's what I did. And, turns out, it was the best decision I could have possibly made. Because not only did it feel like I was taking charge of my life again, but also it let me get to know about this stranger before I actually up and met her. And, I did meet her.

    And I've been to her house and she's been here, and we've been camping together, and I've met her best friend, and everything has worked out so wonderfully perfect that it seems a bit surreal. Not creepy surreal, mind you, but holy-crap-I-didn't-know-something-so-complicated-could-be-so-simple surreal. And so I find myself quite lucky and quite fortunate, that the whole situation has worked out exceptionally well for everyone involved. And, I wish I could say that's true for everyone in the same kind of position--but unfortunately, it's not.

    And so what I mean is, you just need to find out what's best for you. It's one of those deals where you get to be selfish, because it's one of those deals where only you're aware of what you are and aren't comfortable with. And I wish I could say it's easy and it's nothing and it'll all pass like the flipping of a switch--but that's not true in the least. It's going to be a process, no matter what you decide.

    That said, just remember, whatever steps you take, that there's going to be the possibility that things can either turn out really really well, or really really bad--and of course there is the neutral factor, too, where everything just fizzles and ends up meaning nothing. Just try and brace yourself for whatever the outcome may be.

    THAT said-that said, sorry to prattle so much--I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and such things do happen, and it's possible for everything to work out. And I do hope everything works out for the best.
     
  20. lebowski

    lebowski The Dude abides

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    Here's a good one - my MIL was contacted by her long lost sister, who was given up for adoption at birth. My MIL knew she existed, and their mother had long passed. They got together, and the adopted sister was a bit resentful, and insisted on knowing why she was given up. So my MIL was honest and told her that she was the child of a rape. Awkward. Pretty much ruined her already messed up life.

    So if you're happy the way you are, be careful about blindly opening doors...
     

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