Pet diaries

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Hook, Jul 14, 2009.

  1. Hook

    Hook Out of Options Veteran

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    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    *****

    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

    Day 983 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
     
  2. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    yay it's pok

    That's pretty cool from a dogs view.
    It was fun playing as a dog in that ps2 game 'dogs life'
     
  3. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 "No Mas" My Wallet

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    LOL seen this or something very close it before but its still funny
     
  4. Hook

    Hook Out of Options Veteran

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    I'll PM u :hookday 
     
  5. Gigatron_2005

    Gigatron_2005 President of Calendars

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    At first I was like "wtf kinda thread is this???"! Then I remembered the :hookday 
     
  6. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Dry built

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    Excellent, but is it Hook day already?

    Well, happy :hookday  pok.
     
  7. Hook

    Hook Out of Options Veteran

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    To be honest with you, I can't remember when Hook Day actually is :lolol 
     
  8. Vexza

    Vexza Nerdicon

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    What is Hook Day?
     
  9. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

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    I call shenanigans. An authentic cat diary would be written in LOLcat-speak.
     
  10. Hook

    Hook Out of Options Veteran

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    Good point. Must've been written by a dog then.
     
  11. bumblebot98

    bumblebot98 Banned

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    that diary sounds like its been written by one of the cats in my house.
     
  12. Toxicon

    Toxicon Banned

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    This. I'm ignorant.
     
  13. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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  14. TfAnimatedfan

    TfAnimatedfan Five. Dollar. Headband.

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    Well, WHAT IS HOOK DAY ?
     
  15. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    :hookday 
     
  16. TfAnimatedfan

    TfAnimatedfan Five. Dollar. Headband.

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    What does it mean ?
     
  17. Gigatron_2005

    Gigatron_2005 President of Calendars

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    it means :hookday 
     
  18. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    This.
     
  19. TfAnimatedfan

    TfAnimatedfan Five. Dollar. Headband.

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    But What is the meaning of Hook Day ?
     
  20. grimlockams prime

    grimlockams prime Check you feet

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    :hookday 
     

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