Pen Lady

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Trenner Dios, Sep 26, 2009.

  1. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    Forgive the pasted conversation. It's worth it:

    12:01amMark
    Lindsay, how were the stupid people today?

    12:01amLindsay
    hahaha i actually thought of you when my boss told me about her morning

    this lady came in and she bought "pageantry" magazine, which is about beauty pageants, and she had on a miss wisconsin tee shirt and a bunch of buttons

    so sarah is standing behind the counter doing paperwork with her back to the register and she hears a noise behind her so she turns around

    the lady is reaching over the register trying to grab sarah's pen. she sees sarah looking, fumbles and drops the pen and then says "i collect pens and i would like to have that pen"

    it was a Holiday Inn pen

    like, a crappy ballpoint pen that would cost a dollar for 30 of them at walmart

    12:04amMark
    Sounds like she's just a textbook kleptomaniac.

    12:04amLindsay
    and sarah's like "um no, you can't have my pen." and the lady's like "but i COLLECT pens" and sarah's like "so?" and the lady is like "i WANT that pen"

    12:04amMark
    wow

    12:05amLindsay
    then she pulls out a giant purple pen from her purse and says "here, hold this pen"

    12:05amMark
    what??? lol

    12:05amLindsay
    it's like one of those jumbo, oversized pens

    and sarah was like "no, that's okay." and the lady is like "take it" and sarah says, "no i can see it from here"

    and then the lady asks sarah if she will trade the holiday inn pen for the giant pen

    12:05amMark
    wow this is scarier than "Quarantine"

    12:06amLindsay
    lmao

    i agree

    and sarah at this point is thinking there is no fucking way this lady is going to get her pen

    12:06amMark
    hahaha

    12:06amLindsay
    she kept saying no, and this kept going on for about 20 minutes before the lady finally left

    this all started at 8:35 this morning...we open at 8:30

    12:07amMark
    what a start to the day...

    12:07amLindsay
    sarah was like "this was a long day"

    i was lauhging so hard

    nothing that happens there anymore phases me. i'm always like "yeah...yeah, this seems right"

    12:07amMark
    does the lady know we have a holiday inn in town?

    12:08amLindsay
    i have no idea

    12:08amMark
    or are the pens in her collection only satisfying to her if they are stolen or bargained for?

    12:08amLindsay
    maybe...or maybe she just likes pens with company names on them?

    i should really just write a book about that store

    but i'm afraid the owner would sue me

    12:09amMark
    oh man, she would have loved the pfizer viagara pen i had in highschool. got it from a girl whose dad was a doctor. then this crazy dumbass i knew stuck it up his nose. i was like, "no, you keep it now"

    12:10amLindsay
    that was probably his plan all along

    12:10amMark
    probably



    For the record, I never, ever use "lol". But I actually laughed out loud at that point, so it seemed appropriate.
     
  2. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    [​IMG]

    I don't think its lol worthy but ok.
     
  3. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

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    Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Fresh here. This is definitely worthy of

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    I...I...don't know how to respond to that. Should I become defensive or just let this thread die in shame?
     
  5. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

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    You should threaten to never come back, and immediately start another thread.
     
  6. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    Hmmm....I'll let my pride take the minor hit, and attempt to redeem myself by giving up the late night thread starting for awhile. Sometimes it's like I'm 18 years old again....
     
  7. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    Don't beat yourself up dude, it happens to the best of us. And feeling like your 18 years old again would still make you older than most of the thread starters in GD during recent times.
     
  8. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    This is why I lurk most of the time. It seems every time I start posting again I read some comics until I reach the end of the new stuff, I unintentionally make people angry, then I post a few threads in General Discussion that I end up regretting. I mean, seriously....last week I actually started an effing blog. A blog!! I don't even like the word. I really need a better outlet...
     
  9. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    Well, I can lock this up if you want. Or you can try redeeming the thread. I always like a good comeback story. Up to you.
     
  10. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    Nah, locking a thread just draws attention to it. Let time be its judge. My ego can take it.
     
  11. rattrap007

    rattrap007 Insert witty comment here TFW2005 Supporter

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    these threads never last long...

    we just need a "cool story bro" thread where we can post this kind of nonsense..
     
  12. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    I think the story would have worked better if you'd just summed it up instead of presenting the whole conversation. The payoff wasn't enough to justify the length (a problem most men can sympathise with), whereas a snappier version of the story could have lead into a "so what crazy shit happens at your job?" thread.
     
  13. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    That sums it up right there.
     
  14. Rhapsody_Prime

    Rhapsody_Prime ...such Heroic Nonsence.

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    Me riding public transportation. Two bums get on talking about the queen of England. One says "she pays some guy like half a million what ever their moneys called over there to paint her house". The other one, "that shapeshifting bitch". Reply " I know, the royal hierarchy is full of Princesses and ho's".

    I told them that the queen of England doesnt live in a house...
    They told me to fuck off.

    End of Line
     
  15. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    Was "the other one" David Icke?
     
  16. comaface

    comaface Crush, kill, destroy

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    Goddam Lizard People
     
  17. Drake

    Drake Smooth Is Smooth Baby

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    The lesson here is that pen thieves should be boiled in oil and fed to the lizard people.
     
  18. Rhapsody_Prime

    Rhapsody_Prime ...such Heroic Nonsence.

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    No. Michael Caine.

    End of Line
     
  19. Dran0n

    Dran0n Junk male

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    Cool story bro.
     
  20. Wreckgar

    Wreckgar Anthony Stark Veteran

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    I work in restaurants. This is above normal for me. I have a lady who will order a tea. We put the tea in the cup for you as per policy. She will not say to keep the tea bag on the side for the sole purpose of tearing whoever doesn't do that a new asshole.

    And she comes in daily.
     

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