Parents. Do you worry about spoiling your kids?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by pscoop, May 14, 2007.

  1. pscoop

    pscoop Dead inside

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    Do you think there is such a thing?

    Lately anytime we go to a store with our 4 year old daughter she seems to have got into the habit of "wanting something". Nothing in particular before we go in, which leads to waiting while she finds something she wants. Sometimes I think she just gets something for the sake of not leaving empty handed. And it is starting to bug me.

    Now my daughter is very well behaved and deserves to have nice things, and it is not the money since it is usually a 5-7 dollar item. But I feel like we shouldn't be just getting random things she had no interest in just so she can have something. And it has started to be like 2 or 3 times a week.

    Most recently, we went to the mall yesterday, and after wondering around the toystore for 20 mins she got a Bratz Baby Mermaid. Then today, my wife goes to another mall with my sister. I can almost guarantee that they will get something at the Disney store. The new toy we just got yesterday, will be forgotton after 24 hours.

    Honestly, should I lighten up since we can afford it and she is good? Or am I right to be concerned about the amount of random toys we are accumulating?
     
  2. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    I think she should be on a finite allowance and be given the option of how to spend it. It's hard to teach the value of money if she gets something every time she asks. She'll have her own money someday and it will be finite. The lesson is more important than the toy.

    Still, she's only four.
     
  3. Random Autobot

    Random Autobot Soviet Kanukistani

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    Hmmm... I have no kids myself, but i can say that during times when I wasn't being a brat, it was pretty rare for us to go into a store without me walking out with a GI JOE figure when i was a kid. Nothing larger than that though. Transformers were always reserved for holidays, or when my dad would go away on business, he'd usually return with a tf for me.

    I never acted spoiled from it, but then again, my parents also instilled NOT being spoiled into me from a very youngf age.
     
  4. cybertron2006

    cybertron2006 Fly By Clockwork Pictures

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    I'm too young to have kids but I am VERY spoiled. I keep wanting MP-01, MP-02,MP-03, MP-05, Cybertron Primus, Armada Unicron, Alternators Mirage AND Rodimus, and Cybertron Megatron.

    That's how spoiled I am.
     
  5. onesock

    onesock Banned

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    Wanting=/=Having. Therefore, you're not spoiled. You just want a lot.
     
  6. gil

    gil Godmaster

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    When I was a kid, my family couldn't afford much toys for me. I remember getting a knockoff Shockwave, a knockoff Blitzwing, and a "real" insecticon (Kickback).

    It's easy for me to say I won't spoil my kids with toys because money is an issue(I don't have kids.....that I know of), but if for some reason, I get rich, fuck yeah, I'll spoil my kids and get them anything they want. (but not as bad as those sweet sixteen show on MTV).
     
  7. pscoop

    pscoop Dead inside

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    You touched on my biggest fear. Although we will probably never be that rich.

    Foster did bring up a good point. She is only four, maybe I should get over it for a while and see how things go.
     
  8. KidDynamite

    KidDynamite don't know nothing Veteran

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    My kids are 2 and 4 (and 1 week old, but she's too young to know yet :) ). Starting when the older one was about 2, we started talking in the van before we walked into the store that we could look but not buy a toy that day. We just talked it over with them and explained that they had lots of toys at home and that they didn't need new ones every time we went shopping. It's never been a real major problem for us. We still treat them with a toy now and then, but usually maybe once a month, if that. They seem to understand when we tell them it is time to leave the toy aisle and don't throw tantrums about it, and when they do get a treat I think it is special to them. They'll go and pick out something they really like a lot that they've been looking at for weeks, instead of just grabbing some random toy they won't care about once it's out of the package. Sure, we can afford $5 or whatever, but it's not about that. It's the principle of the thing. We have a job to do as parents to teach our kids, and we don't feel appeasing them with toys every time we go shopping sends a sound message.

    Don't think that just because you can afford it you can let it slide. Being a parent sometimes means doing the right thing and not necessarily the easy thing. She might be upset about it now, especially since she's been getting away with it up to now, but she'll be much better off as a teenager and adult if you start teaching her lessons about greed and thriftiness now.
     
  9. cybertron2006

    cybertron2006 Fly By Clockwork Pictures

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    oh... thanks for the tip.
     
  10. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    No, they almost never get instant gratification, I make them work for allowances, and save up money for what they want except for birthdays and Christmas.

    If they throw a fit over wanting something, they are then guaranteed not to get it.
     
  11. dbec1

    dbec1 Well-Known Member

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    She's 4, Its just a tad bit early to be concerned about teaching her financial responsibilities. I have a 7 year old and I'm just now begining to teach him money matters. Spoil her as much as you can now, she'll be twice as old soon and asking for 3-5 hundred dollar toys. She's your little princess, now fork over that wallet and treat her like one!
     
  12. jourdo

    jourdo TFW2005 Supporter

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    This is what we do with our little girl (who is 4 btw). This way, she is allowed to pick up something if she wants, but is also starting to understand the importance of saving for the things she really wants. She actually enjoys getting to pay for things by herself.
     
  13. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Or not.

    Listen to KidDynamite. Cut it right back, maybe something once a month or less.
     
  14. drippy

    drippy is a freethinker.

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    Erm...perhaps you should leave the parenting of his children to him? Everybody has their own way of doing something.

    *edit* Course I've occassionally interjected my own views/strong opinions into discussions like this as well. :) 




    5 Steps to raising a money smart kid

    http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/parenting/03/28/money.smart.kids/index.html
     
  15. dbec1

    dbec1 Well-Known Member

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    Dont worry, no offense taken, but thanks for the argument...

    A lot of it has to do with the child too. My kid has never thrown a tantrum when I said no, so it was easier for me to wait and start now. She might react different, or not react at all. Thats the fun part about having kids...you never know
     
  16. pscoop

    pscoop Dead inside

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    And drippy comes through with the CNN link :lol 

    The hard part is I am torn directly between dbec1 and KD's opinion. I love my little princess but I desperately want to do the right thing for her in the long run.
     
  17. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Indeed they do, but he asked for advice so I gave it.
     
  18. Boggs6ft7

    Boggs6ft7 TFW2005 Supporter

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    I would say you are on a dangerous path.

    I have no kids of my own, but as a teacher, I deal with teenagers every day. Teenagers that have absolutely no work ethic because everything has been given to them their whole lives. I really really can't stand these kids, not because they drive a better car than I do (that their parents bought) or that they live in a better house, but because they simply don't want to work and see no value in doing work. Lo and behold, these are the same kids that never move out of the house and can't do a damn thing for themselves.

    My parents provided for me and we lived a comfortable life, but outside of that, I was on my own for money. I've had a job since I was in 7th grade, be it cutting grass, fast food, home depot, etc... I've always told myself that no matter how successful I am, my kids will have a good work ethic because I don't want them ending up like those kids on My Super Sweet 16.

    Very few people know what real work is or complain about how hard their job is when it isn't. I want these people to throw hay for a day, roof a house without one of those fancy elevator ladders that lifts the shingles up, work in a foundry, etc... Then maybe they'll see that their job isn't so bad and that there are people out there that work a lot harder for their money.

    ok, I'm done ranting
     
  19. onesock

    onesock Banned

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    Now I don't normally call people out on things, but let's try not to generalize. I take offense to this particular statement in the fact that you are referring to teenagers as a whole. I'm a teenager, just turned 16 on Saturday, and I have an unbelievable work ethic. OK, maybe not unbelievable, but it's a good one. I have a job at a car audio shop, work every day after school, and the only thing I have handed to me is the food I eat at home. Now I'm not trying to make this come off as a sob story, but next time, choose your words more carefully. SOME teenagers would have worked. Let me fix it for you.

    Rant over.
     
  20. Boggs6ft7

    Boggs6ft7 TFW2005 Supporter

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    I'm not generalizing teenagers, I'm talking about teenagers that have no work ethic.
     

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