On Friendship

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by cagliostro, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. cagliostro

    cagliostro Victi Vincimus

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    Ok I need some advice on what to do about the following: so about a month ago one of my best friends (I have know him since we were in the 7th grade) got me an Xbox 360 and a game as a gift with some money he came in to as a result of PTSD from being in Iraq. Now he and his wife are having a messy divorce and she is pissed that I kept the 360 cause she says that money could have gone to their two young kids. The other reason she is so pissed is she sees my keeping of the 360 as a huge betrael of our friendship (she is also my cousin and we have been close friends since 2000). She keeps saying I should never have exepted such a extravgant gift and that this is causeing her kids to potentaly go with out, witch I know that it is not. Just today I offered to pay her the amout of money that it would have cost me to go out and buy it my self and she said no and that I don't care about my nephew and niece. I asked the guy who got it for me "what would you have spent the money on if you had not gotten this for me?" and he said "New tats" so it's not like his wife or kids would have seen one red cent of that money. I guess I just want to know am I an ass for keeping it?
     
  2. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    You're an ass for accepting an extravagant gift from a friend you knew was suffering from mental illness (if he really is suffering, and not just shaking down the disability system).

    The right thing would have been to refuse it--and when he said he was going to get tattoos, you should have been a good friend and talked to him about what he was going through and some smarter things to do with his money.

    Still, the wife is being a bitch 'cause she's angry, and nothing you do will change that now.

    So put the money it would have cost you aside for when your friend is having a rainy day (which might not be that far off, if the divorce is nasty) and go play Halo 3 until then.
     
  3. cagliostro

    cagliostro Victi Vincimus

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    I never would have thought to look at it like that, so thank you for the new view. I think I will take you advice about the rainy day money too.
     
  4. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

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    Yeah she's a bitch and all that effort she is putting on chewing you out could be used on raising her own children. I personally would never accept such a pricey gift because when it comes to a good deal of money between friends, almost always it gets messy.
     
  5. Gigatron_2005

    Gigatron_2005 President of Calendars

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    I say you buy a home theater projector and play the Xbox 360 on a nice huge screen outside of her house.



    Also, might not have been the best thing to accept the gift, but if you offered her the money and she has refused it, she can just go pound sand.
     
  6. cagliostro

    cagliostro Victi Vincimus

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    That seems to be the general consencis and I have to agree. Aw, hindsight. Oh well thanks for the lols.
     
  7. RedOktobre

    RedOktobre RedOktobre

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    I think that you were in a sort of "no-win situation" to begin with...

    1. Your close friend and cousin are fighting viciously against each other. By accepting the gift from your friend, you placed yourself directly in the middle. This is absolutely not a good place to be!

    2. Your cousin has issues. Specifically, she is under a lot of stress and dealing with many unresolvable problems. Therefore, anyone who is not "with her" is "against her". Moreover, she is probably looking for an easy target to vent her frustration and blame. You became an easy target when you accepted the gift.

    3. Your friend has issues. He seems to be neglecting his parental responsibilities and has a "screw it" attitude. He doesn't seem to care for his estranged wife and family. He is probably tired of being haggled constantly be the estranged wife. Even if you refused the gift, your friend would have wasted the money on tatoos anyway.

    Conclusion:
    If you refused the gift, you would not have alienated yourself from your cousin. However, the inherent problems between your cousin and close friend will continue to persist with or without your interference. So, you should have refused the gift, maintain good relations with your cousin and close friend, and watch the fireworks (at a distance) between your cousin and friend.
     
  8. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Bang the chick and buy the dude a beer. Everyone wins.
     
  9. REDLINE

    REDLINE longer days, plz? Veteran

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    the chick is his cousin.
     
  10. McBradders

    McBradders James Franco Club! Moderator

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    Oh man, so much material, right there...
     
  11. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    It's all good.
     
  12. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Long as she's a cross-cousin.
     
  13. JinraiPrime

    JinraiPrime 1000+ Post Club Member

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    Eff that keep the xbox its not an extravagant gift, a lambo or 2000$ stereo system THATS extravagant... your boy, wanted to do something nice for you and he did. He didnt do it to spite his wife or take food from his childrens mouths and accepting a gift from YOUR friend is not a betrayl.. Thats why I try and not befriend my friends girlfriends/boyfriends because when shit goes bad they usually expect you to choose a side.... enjoy your xbox dude is what I say.
     
  14. jourdo

    jourdo TFW2005 Supporter

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    Enjoy the gift, and be sure to wear a helmet to prevent getting hit in the crossfire between these two.
     
  15. pscoop

    pscoop Dead inside

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    :lol  F'in llama man!

    Sounds like you're getting put in the middle dude. Maybe you shouldn't of accepted the gift but it's too late now. I like the rainy day idea of helping your freind when he needs it.
     
  16. JinraiPrime

    JinraiPrime 1000+ Post Club Member

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    ^^ I agree, but seriously if your any sort of friend you would be there for him anyway right?
     
  17. *Deathblade

    *Deathblade Well-Known Member

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    Honestly, I would say its relative...an XBOX 360 plus a game costs about 500 bucks. If he came into like 100,000 bucks (I doubt it) I would say dont worry about it. Even like 50 or 60 grand, I say don't worry about it.....20,000 or less..well maybe not

    Is he still in the military? How good of a friend are you...there are too many unkown variables here to just blanketly call you an ass like some have done here.

    1. How much money he got
    2. What his true mental state is
    3. Whether or not he currently has a job or had one when you accepted it
    4. How deep a friendship you have
    5. Whether you have done/would do something similar or equal for him
    6. How long ago you got that gift, and whether you knew accepting it would cause drama
    7. If you knew their relationship was headed toward pending divorce.

    I say ask yourself those questions, and if you can say at the end of the day you considered all those things, and didnt see a problem...enjoy your XBOX 360..you offered to recoup the 360, and your cousin refused, so now she is just being a spiteful bitch it seems.

    DEFENITELY keep that money to the side though, it sounds like she is going to try to take him to the cleaners
     
  18. Malach Ra

    Malach Ra TFW2005 Supporter

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    its just an xbox for god sake, its not like he gave his wife's jewelry to you to pawn. keep the xbox, its not like you stole or forced him to do it. sounds like your friend may not have his priorities straight, but o well, shit happens. and if your cousin doesnt accept the money you offered, the hell with her, now she's just bitching just to bitch.
     
  19. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Arise Rodimus Prime

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    The amount of money spent on that xbox, my mom could have bought a new Coach wallet! But $500 is alot, I really don't know what to say if she won't let you replace the cash, you might want that when the kids birthdays come around give them $250 each to be put in their savings account or something like that.
     
  20. cagliostro

    cagliostro Victi Vincimus

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    Wow seems to me you hit the nail right on the head.

    Lol I was waiting for a post like this and I knew I would not be disapointed.

    Your not kidding as I am adopted. But I could never look at her like that. However her husband and I did once try to get her to agree to let us pimp her out over on Miracle Mile (Tucsons red light district). He still has the fingernail marks on the back of his neck, and that was over six years ago.

    The problem is that I became good friends with them seperatly then I was the one who introdused them to each other when she was visiting from Chicago.

    1. He got $10,000 and will get at least another $10-20 more.
    2. That is the one thing I have not been able to devine he seems ok to me, but he had to leave his wife and kids cause he was afrad he would do somthing stupid. But in the last 2-3 months he has gotten alot better and is his old self again.
    3. not at the time but he had one lined up to start in less than a month.
    4. I would say that they are each one of my best friends. He helped me get thru High School and I helped him deal with his abuseive mother (or as I call her Ugmo the Dog-Faced Troll Woman). His Wife lived at my house for three month recoperating from an Ectopic Pregnacy when he was in Basic.
    5.Gave him a Playstation with at least five games, and got Her a dvd player and about 25-30 movies in 2000 with some extra scrach I came in to.
    6. I got it less than a month ago and I had no idea that there would be any drama.
    7. I have know that since she told me that she filed in july after her dauter was born. I asked her if she would be mad if I stayed friends with him (cause when they first started going out he asked me to still be his friend even if they broke up and I gave him my word that I would) and she said only if I suported him in trying to get the kids (even he has said he was a shitty parent).

    Thats a great idea I think I will do that and just save what it would have cost to buy one as a rainy day fund. Thanks to you all for the perspective and the lols.
     

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