need some help guys....

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by grandizerGo, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. grandizerGo

    grandizerGo Predaking

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    Hi I am not sure if im posting this in the right place.I will make this short as possible.I have been a transformers collector for the last 25 years.I have over 5000 transformers in my collection,g1,beast wars,armada,energon,cybertron,movie,binaltech,masterpiece,animated,everything...I met this wonderful woman same age as me,who accepted me and my hobby about 2 years ago.. things were perfect,I bought a house ,she moved in,she proposed to me,absolute heaven...about 1 year ago she lost her job,well paying, summers and weekends off ..she took it pretty hard,huge pay cut,depression,are relationship desolved because of it..she moved out about 2 months ago..last i heard from her was an email saying she was happier without me and to live happily ever after with my toys..my attic is finished and thats where the toys are ..in fact there isnt a single toy anywhere in the house accept in the attic..my point is my collection used to bring me joy when I was down or stressed..she is gone ,I havnt bought a single toy,been into my toy room,in fact im on the fence about selling the entire collection,is my loss of love causing this?has anyone else been through somthing similar?just looking for some advice from fans and collectors,moderators please feel free to move this if it is posted in the wrong spot..thanks everyone for your thoughts
     
  2. TILALLR1

    TILALLR1 'Til All Are One

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    Nothing wrong with taking a break. Lock up the attic and take a pause from collecting. Come back to it in 3-6months and see if you still feel the same. If you do, try selling items in your collection you can easily let go. Then when your done doing that, try selling items in your collection that you thought you would never let go. If you have hit this point, then maybe you are done with collecting. Nothing wrong with that, we all hit different points in our lives. But chances are, after a few years you will regret it. So my advice to you is to just sell what you can risk to loose and keep what you loved the most packed away for another day.
     
  3. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

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    Gosh... I really don't know what to say. Sorry that things didn't turn out so well.

    It's obvious that you're hurt, but... don't you think selling your entire Transformers collection is going to make you feel any better?
     
  4. grandizerGo

    grandizerGo Predaking

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    how could over 50 people look at this post and only 2 give insight ..c,mon guys looking for some advice here!!
     
  5. NormanB

    NormanB Well-Known Member

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    This is not about your Transformers, this is about your ex.

    Unfortunately, she felt the need to take a potshot at your love for TF in her last e-mail.

    And really dude, you can do better than a girl who stays unemployed for a YEAR.

    A little time with a therapist might help you. I'm saying this quite seriously, not as a joke or to be mean.

    Lots of girls out there, so go find one!
     
  6. Deadpool.

    Deadpool. I want my bird.

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    QFT.
    Just try to move on with life. I'm sure there're other girls out there more suitable for you!
     
  7. Backscatter

    Backscatter Autobot Brainmaster TFW2005 Supporter

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    I actually let a girlfriend go once, bucuase she said:

    "What is with you and ALL THESE TOYS?"

    We didn't last a month after that. I never missed her, she didn't really love me anyway.
     
  8. Bgrngod

    Bgrngod Autocon

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    I got lucky and found a girl that understands why I have hobbies, and why they are what they are. I can't imagine ever spending time in a relationship with a girl that would give me grief about it or look down at me for it. Mostly because I would end it if I got that sense from them. I don't consider this as just a different opinion, but instead see it as a lack of understanding about who I am and what I enjoy. My fiance doesn't have to also like TF's, she just has to look at it as a non-issue instead of a problem.

    The second a girl thinks something is a problem, she will make it her mission to "fix" it.

    It may be that your girl always looked down on you for your hobbies without saying anything about it until the end when she could use it against you. That fact that she said anything about it after the breakup is pretty much a confirmation that she had a negative attitude toward it. It's cheap and pathetic. That's a major sign of selfishness and dishonesty. She clearly didn't understand you. You are better off without her if she would take shots at you like that.

    Ending relationships sucks, no matter what. Even when the ending of it was your call. There is always a period afterwords where you will second guess everything you do every day for quite awhile. Once you move on and firmly establish that you are better off not being in a relationship with that person, you will be able to reassess your hobbies and interests with a clearer frame of mind.
     
  9. Sysbase

    Sysbase Member

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    Couldn't Agree More

    [​IMG]
     
  10. transformers32

    transformers32 Well-Known Member

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    I agree move on with your life. There are lots of girls that will accept you for who you are. Im glad i found one who encourages me to collect and it makes me happy and in return makes her happy. Keep your head up things can only get better relationship wise. I would also take a break from it if your not feeling it anymore and come back later to it.
     
  11. Molini

    Molini spawn of a glitch TFW2005 Supporter

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    I agree with Bgrngod.

    What you are feeling, however, appears to be subconscious guilt that somehow it was YOUR fault that things ended up the way they did and that your toys were a contributing factor because she mocked you with it in the end (more on that in a bit). Truth is, that's just normal human behavior. We all turn our gaze inward so to speak in the wake of rejection, which is exactly what this was if she left you regardless of the situation.

    My experience with women in relationships is that no matter what they say about how much they don't mind some hobby you have, or how tolerant they may seem of your dedication to something other than...them, they will always be hurt and eventually despise anything that you "appear" to enjoy more than them. Perception is everything, even if it's not always the reality.

    Some women have admited to me after a bad break up, where at some point they denounced anything I was passionate about, that they only said those things to make me feel as hurt as I made them feel for not treating them or appreciating them as much in the way they wanted me to.

    Usually, break ups are for the better for both people involved, it just takes time to realize it. Your emotional health is among the most important things in life, because it permeates and influences your physical and mental responses to everything. At this point, you are doing what is natural...seeking support from others, searching for affirmation of your feelings. That's great, however, to recieve that from strangers is one thing...Go get it from your close friends and loved ones for better effect.

    Do the things that normally make you happy, although I would keep the attic closed for the time being simply because like I said, subconsciously it represents things that are associated with your recent emotional trauma. Give it time to heal. They aren't going anywhere. Only sell them if you truly have no desire for them anymore, not because you think it may win her back.

    Take care of yourself, and good luck.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2008
  12. 245am

    245am opener

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    that's a real tough one... you're sure the 'toys' comment was a pot shot at your collection? (I couldn't completely tell from your post).
    Regardless, as others have said, this sounds more about her than y'all. That's a terrible place to be in, but all I say is this: if the TF collecting brought you joy before you met her, then maybe that's a place to turn right now. In shitty times like this, indulge in what makes you happy. You'll find a girl who loves you, TFs or not.
     
  13. LadyStarscream

    LadyStarscream Queen of Cybertron

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    Try finding a chick who loves bots as much as you do. Give up on the girl, not your hobby.
     
  14. Grimlocka go-go

    Grimlocka go-go Back from the Dead TFW2005 Supporter

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    ^ agreed

    Selling your collection won't make you feel better, just take a break, maybe plan a little botcon trip :D 
     
  15. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    What you're going through is perfectly natural. Its called GRIEF. Losing a relationship like it sounds like you had can be as devastating as if she'd died. You have to make allowances for it with yourself just as if she had died, especially with regards to making such radical decisions as selling a collection you built LONG before this woman came into your life. You're not ready to make such decisions yet, you need to take the time to go through the grief and THEN decide such things. It will take a while, but it DOES get better if you're patient with yourself.

    In the mean time do whatever you have to to keep yourself from making a colossal mistake based on emotion before you have a clear head. Don't go thinking about selling the house either, for the same reason.

    Take care of yourself, and the rest will follow.

    --Moony
     
  16. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Arise Rodimus Prime

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    You are my hero <3

    Listen to this guy.

    By the way I student intern as a therapist XD Will work for toys!
     
  17. Cmdr Prime

    Cmdr Prime co-Commander of Autobots TFW2005 Supporter

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    Agree Lady Starscream there are plenty of women out there who collect Transformers so my advice to you Grandizergo don't give up your hobby some day you will meet a nice woman who also collects TF's as much as you
     
  18. Draven

    Draven Banned

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    This, word for word. Keep the toys, forget the ex.
     
  19. grandizerGo

    grandizerGo Predaking

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    Thanks guys and girls for all your advice..seeing so many points of view and opinions about this helps.Im gonna stay out of the attic for a while and concentrate on friends and family for a while and see what happens..lots of positive energy and support on this board :thumbs2: 
     
  20. LEADERS_MATRIX

    LEADERS_MATRIX Wisdom of the ages...

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    I would say don't sale athing til you know forsure, I had to see off over half my collection for similar reasons, and I'm still sick about it two years later.
    If she said she was happier without you, AND YOUR TOYS, I would give it time and maybe you can find someone who is not just giving you a line about liking your hobby, just remember they are easy to sale, but hard as hell to buy back again.
     

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