need help/advice with girl problem

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dragontron88, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. dragontron88

    dragontron88 Your new Lord, & Master

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    Ok, heres my situation, I have known her for a very long time,She was in second grade, and I was in fourth, we were neighbors. My little brother became friends with her, and her older sister, and we started hanging out with them alot, we became really close, family wise. I have asked her out before, but it was at a real bad time, and I really didnt know what was up, her mom had cancer. My brother and I were always at their house to help her mom out, when ever we could, I even cooked dinner for them a few times. I asked her out right before things took a turn for the worse for her mom, so she never gave me an answer. So I let things go, because she needed to focus on her mom. Things got really wierd, my brother told me that she talked to her mom about it, and that she had wanted to talk to me about, so I kept my distance for a while, just felt really wierd, about three weeks later her mom wasnt getting any better, I never talked to her mom about it, but I wish I had. she died about 3 days later. I really felt bad that I never talked to her about it. That was 3 years ago, we are still close, once again, family wise, and I have never gotten the nerve to ask her again, she is a Senior in High School right now, I graduated in '06, going to college now. There has always been a part of me that really cares for her, but I dont really know how or if she feels the same thing. Her older sister has to know that I still like her, she is always telling me when ever she likes a guy, or when she's getting hit on, so I have a feeling she's pushing me to work up the nerve, but it could just be over thinking it. My problem now is, how do I talk to her, or do I at all?
    what should I do, I'm really risking the natural fear of rejection, that is my biggest worry
     
  2. Bumble Prime

    Bumble Prime all the time

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    just ask. if your close, you dont need an icebreaker.

    and as far as rejection goes, the best advice i have ever heard is to look at relationship "types" pretty much as a personal preference.

    like, i dont care for mustard, nothing against mustard. but its just not my thing. Taking that advice i imagine if one of my friends that i wasnt attracted to asked me out, i would simply say no thankyou, because its just not my type of person that im attracted to.

    when you think of it as something as trivial as preferring ketchup over mustard, it takes a lot of the pressure of personal feelings of rejection off.

    and in the early stages of a relationship, it pretty much is hmmmmmmmm do i wanna go out with this guy? not really a high pressure decision in all reality. So regardless of the outcome dont sweat the small stuff
     
  3. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    Just come right out and tell her exactly (or close to) what you have told us.

    It really shouldn't be that hard.
     
  4. Prowl

    Prowl Well-Known Member

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    You know what happened to the person who never tried because he/she was afraid of the consequences? Nothing....

    Remember when you were a kid and weren't afraid of anything? You didn't care if you got on the swing and fell on your ass because you wanted to swing higher than the other kids? Think like that. Don't end up regretting later for not asking her. I'm not saying that the results won't be bad, but even if they are, you'll know your answer and you won't wonder about it forever.
     
  5. Bumble Prime

    Bumble Prime all the time

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    hell, show her an abridged version of this post.

    girls like notes! give it to her before biology lol
     
  6. Soundblaster1

    Soundblaster1 The Heisenberg of Toys

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    I say go for it... Just phrase it in a way that you and her can still be friends if she says no.
     
  7. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    Like the others said, just be honest about it and tell her whats up.
     
  8. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

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    Tell you what: Ill copy and paste your post and put it as a comment on her my space. Then no more problem. J/K.

    But for reals, just talk to her
     
  9. Prowl_Delta_31

    Prowl_Delta_31 Eating your donuts

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    The way I look at it, it really doesn't matter if you are still real close (but its a plus) you gotta just come out and tell her how you feel. If you let this pass you by you may regret it for the rest of your life and thats not really something a person should have to live with. I hate having those "what if" moments wondering what would life be like if I had done this or that. Hope it works out well for you.
    Prowl
     
  10. Ktulu

    Ktulu Whoosh TFW2005 Supporter

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    Right on. If you don't, you'll always have that "what if" in your head. Life is too short to go on with "what if"s. You just have to go for it!
     
  11. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    DO IT, but don't blame us if it all goes wrong. I'd say go for it, because you'll probably regret not acting on it later and be forever haunted by WHAT IF'S.

    Also, looking at her Myspace pictures, she's super cute.
     
  12. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

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    No harm ever came from asking a girl out. I ran into a girl I hadn't seen since 2001 at Subway. I had the biggest crush on her for years, and asked her out cause the opportunity was there.

    If she says no...well, it'll suck, but their other fish in the sea. You'll regret it if continue to wait and wait.
     
  13. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    So... any luck? Did you get to stick your footlong meatball sub into her... thingy?
     
  14. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    Alternatively you could get her real drunk and see if she will go down on you...
     
  15. Depthcharge

    Depthcharge Well-Known Member

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    I was going to give a big long speech about preparing yourself for good or bad consequences of taking this step, but I've since thought better of it.

    If you truely feel the way that you say, then you have to do two things.

    1. Be completely forthcoming with her about your feelings for her.
    2. Make sure she understands that no matter what she says, you value your relationship with her above all else and so, she needn't feel pressured in that way.

    The whole "dating a friend" thing has a lot emotional twists and cauldesacs. Ultimately though, a good, healthy and loving relationship is based in friendship.

    I really believe that situations like this work out for the best whether she says yes to you or no to you. Sitting on your feelings though is unhealthy and ultimately it will hurt you a lot more than any rejection. It may in turn hurt her (or cause you to inadvertently hurt her too). Don't sit on the sidelines and wonder what could have been. If you do this you'll know and the worst case scenario is that you'll still be friends and you'll both know where each other stand.

    -DC (Dr. Phil prodigy)
     
  16. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

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    Into her Pita lol. We're going out hopefully this weekend. First, I gotta go get a new cellphone to call her cause I'm completely died on me. Luckily, it retained just enough of a charge to save her number.

    Ironically, the footlong meatball was what I had ordered.
     
  17. Mr. Jiggles

    Mr. Jiggles loves your mother.

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    Show up at her house with a copy of 'Say Anything'.

    That movie is like spanish fly.

    And when she gets all weak in the knees when Cusak holds up the boombox, make your move.



    Jiggles says: Don't be a pussy.

    Just ask her, dude. Be confident, but not cocky. And if she should say 'no' or some other lame excuse, don't bat an eyelash. If you act like it doesn't phase you, she might change her mind.

    But, remember: she'll probably say 'yes'.

    I've landed women who are, honestly, way out of my league, just because of the way I carry myself.

    I'll tell you a secret. Lot of guys don't have the self-esteem because they don't have the looks, money, etc., of some other guys. Well, those dickheads usually have just as many hang-ups as you do.

    So, just do it. Move in and if it doesn't work out, move on to the next one. It works.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 12, 2016
  18. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    Just be confident and you'll be giving her anal in no time
     
  19. Darkravager

    Darkravager Zombie Hunter

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    Walk up to her, whip it out, and see where it goes from there.
     
  20. Boggs6ft7

    Boggs6ft7 TFW2005 Supporter

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    You're two years into college, you should be over your fear of rejection.

    The greater the build-up, the greater the let down if she says no. Just ask her and get it over with.
     

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