My TF4 script

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by mrprime95, Jul 12, 2011.

  1. mrprime95

    mrprime95 autobot <3 :)

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    Well I mentioned earlier I was gonna right a script for TF4,for hasbro and whoever directed.and I'm gonna give you a taste of what I got.I must remind you,I'm only 14.so enjoy my fellow tf fans this isn't the whole,it's a part taken from the middle-ish part of the script.so once again enjoy

    *the crowd cheers,and clap.when something huge emerges from the pearl white clouds*

    Ratchet:what in the name of primus is that

    *the clouds begin to clear revealing a metallic figure*

    Mirage:I-I believe zat izza ship

    *the figure turns out to be the ship given to galvatron.bumblebee runs up to the landing ship*

    Bumblebee:eek: ptimus more autobots!!!!!!!

    *the ship lands on the ground causing a huge dust cloud.bumblebee waits 5 feet in front of the ship,where the ships entrance is.the hatch opens with steam *spewing out of the door.but it's wierd steam,it won't go away.bumblebee stands there waiting for his autobot friends to make there welcoming appearance.*

    Optimus:somethings not right,ratchet scan the ship.

    Ratchet:got it optimus.

    *ratchet scans the ship,and is horrified*

    Ratchet:eek: h no.....OPTIMUS,ITS A DECEPTICON SHiP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Optimus:NO,bumblebee RUN!!!!!!!!

    *bumblebee is to excited to hear optimus.optimus and the other autobots charge after bumblebee.bumblebee stares into the steam,he starts to wonder what's taking so long,when two red lights side by side appear in the steam,bumblebee already knows what they are and nearly goes into cyber-shock from being so frightened.bumblebee runs away as *fast as his feet can go,screaming at the humans.*

    Bumblebee:run!!!!!!humans run away

    *bumblebee is to late,galvatron emerges creepily from the ships entrance and blast bumblebee in the legs with his cannon.bumblbee's right leg falls off and his left is merely dangling off a thick black wire.

    Sideswipe:bumblebee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *sideswipe runs faster to bumblebees aid as fast as possible,faster than any other autobot has ran before,so fast he runs over a couple humans.galvatron walks over to bumblebee who is limping for his life*

    Galvatron:weak autobot

    *bumblebee is so frightened he can hardly talk,he only gets out a few words*

    Bumblebee:megatron...is...that you!!!!!!!

    *galvatron doesn't respond.he picks up bumblebee by his left leg,and prepares to rip him in two.bumblebee screams galvatron begins to tear bumblebee.bumblebees chest pops,and he screams.sideswipe skates below galvatron and uses his cybertanium swords to slice galvatrons abdomin.*

    Galvatron:ahhhhhh,foolish autobot

    *galvatron releases bumblebee in the air.sideswipe catches him and takes him to ratchet*

    Sideswipe:he's hurt bad ratchet!!!!!!!!!

    Ratchet:I see....I'll have to take him back to base for repairs!!!!!!!!!!

    *rachet transforms and rushes bumblebee to the autobot base to repair bumblebee*

    Ratchet:your gonna be alright buddy!!!!!!

    Bumblebee:r-ratchet...am....I g-gonna....die?

    Ratchet:don't speak of foolish thoughts bumblebee...your gonna be fine

    *galvatron holding his abdomin,orders cyclonus and scurge to attack*

    Galvatron:minions attack,ATTACK
     
  2. qwerty

    qwerty Well-Known Member

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    how about a battle on Diego Garcia for an excuse to blow up that Nest Base...?
     
  3. mrprime95

    mrprime95 autobot <3 :)

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    What do you guys think,come on!!!!!! :) 
     
  4. mrprime95

    mrprime95 autobot <3 :)

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    It's almost like you know my script dude lol xD
     
  5. qwerty

    qwerty Well-Known Member

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    so wat is the intro...?

    the best intro for me is Unicron eating up a robot planet...
     
  6. mrprime95

    mrprime95 autobot <3 :)

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    No it's like the middle-ish
     
  7. mrprime95

    mrprime95 autobot <3 :)

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    Oh...the intro is optimus and the autobots being repaired from there latest mission,and unicron repairing megatron
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2011
  8. qwerty

    qwerty Well-Known Member

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    maybe for the intro, have possible Decepticon sneak attack on Nasa to steal the Xantium and fly into outer space with the all the dead robots: Megatron, Starscream etc...

    The Sneak attack would also have to disable all USA Air Defense so they cannot shoot the Xantium once it flies off.

    once they are in Outerspace, they come under attack from Unicron and he reformats them into whoever...

    Why Unicron is chilling in the MIlky Way Galaxy will have something to do with Cybertron in DOTM. Maybe he detected Cybertron's presence when it was partially teleported.

    this is just my thought...

    With Unicron involved, Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge are a must...
     
  9. MTME

    MTME Well-Known Member

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    I think this needs to go into fanfiction forum
     
  10. Primewave

    Primewave amiinterrupting

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    Not bad. How does Galvatron appear anyway.
     
  11. OptimusPrimer25

    OptimusPrimer25 Well-Known Member

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    sounds cool. are cyclonus and scourge reconfigured from starscream and another decepticon or are they created straight from unicron?
     
  12. tfmaker

    tfmaker Well-Known Member

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    didn't the Xantium you know BLOW UP!!!!!!:bay :bay 
     
  13. mrprime95

    mrprime95 autobot <3 :)

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    they were made from two other decepticons.starscreamis revived and goes to kill spimewitwicky
     
  14. Sixshot93

    Sixshot93 Well-Known Member

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    You wanna hear my opinion? IT SUCKS!

    First off, Learn to freaking spell! Your grammar on this story is terrible. You don`t put any comma`s or spaces in the right place. And can you at least learn to spell `too' as in `too big' or `too small', for god`s sakes?!

    Secondly, the way you write the actions that characters do and what you described makes no sense and have no logic in it whatsoever. LEARN YOUR CONTINUITY ERRORS,MAN.

    And finally, by the looks of this story, you`re not going to have Hasbro submit a script by a terrible writer that is so bad, poorly written, poorly structured, error-filled, and can barely sustain itself as trying to be a good story.

    All in all, it is piss poor. Of the highest order.
     

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