my parents annoy me sometimes...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Lumpy, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. Lumpy

    Lumpy Taylor Swift Actionmaster Super Mod

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    so, i'm 28, buying a house with my wife, and her parents are being SO generous and helpful...her mom is our real estate agent, and has helped us for over a year to find THE house...she's giving us her commission for window treatments and ceiling fans, cleaning the house and maybe more if it'll cover more...her dad is buying us a brand new refrigerator and giving us $500...and her aunt and uncle (who we are VERY close to) are buying all the paint for the house...

    my parents haven't even talked to us about anything at all...so i ask them if they are considering getting us a gift, because we could use a washer and dryer, and found some nice one's on sale at Sears...she responds and asks if i think they're made of money and that they don't think they can afford that... then finally, how about we give you our old ones? and we'll buy new ones for us...

    now, while it is nice that they are offering decent machines that'll last about 3-5 years, it just seems like such a low ball move, considering that between my mother in law, stepfather in law, and father in law (who all make far less then my parents, combined) they offer so much to help us out, and my parents are being cheap asses, as usual and pretending they've got no money, when they own a 500k house, 3 cars, a fucking plane, and so much more...and for the past 4 months have been vacationing almost every other week...

    and they pull this all the time...and now i just don't even know how to react... i am grateful, but at the same time, i see what people who make far less are offering and it just doesn't make sense...advice?
     
  2. Echnalaid

    Echnalaid Watermelons?

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    Say something like-
    "Dammit, Mom, I'm a man now! If you got the money to go on fucking vacation all the time, why don't you give some of that to your son?"
     
  3. matrixprime

    matrixprime AJ's Toy Chest Owner

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    That sucks man. I guess you could be honest with them about it and tell them how you feel. OR....you could just wait for the next time they need a favor and come up with a similar excuse, i.e. no time, money, patience, etc. That's how I would do it.
     
  4. rattrap007

    rattrap007 Insert witty comment here TFW2005 Supporter

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    I don't think it is them being stingy, but they want you to make it on your own and have slef relience. Her side is more generous and more towards the spoiling her. Just different methods.
     
  5. shibamura_prime

    shibamura_prime Jumpin' Jellyfish! Super Mod

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    Honestly, it could be that your parents are trying not to spoil you. My folks are incredibly well-off but they've never handled everything for me (even though they could in a heartbeat). To paraphrase Henry Jones Sr, "they taught me Self Reliance."

    I don't want to say too much, since I don't really know you and know your parents even less. I will say congrats and good luck with the new house, and if it comes down to it you can always pour sugar in their jet's gas tank.
     
  6. Digilaut

    Digilaut My name is Drift.

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    My advice is to let it go and harden up...:p 

    No offence, but it seems to me you are a bit ungrateful. I'd say what your parents in law and added family are doing already could be considered a bit over the top, but then your parents offer you to donate their machines when they buy new ones, and you consider it a cheap move? :p  I understand it's a bit different in your situation, seeing as your parents are pretty wealthy, but how are you going to take care of yourself if you expect your parents to buy you new stuff for your house?..

    I can understand that it annoys you, and you might even feel somewhat ashamed of your parents and be all apologizing to your wife's family about them, but in the end, I'd say the 'normal' situation would be where both parties give you nothing (or maybe 1 gift for your house, which doesn't need to be an expensive item), so anything that's more than nothing is good..right?

    Seems you are lucky with your wife's family, though! :thumbs2: 
     
  7. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    Yeah, because your parents are obligated to support you for the rest of your life. Jeez, when good stuff happens to you, be happy. Don't start bitching about how it could be better.
     
  8. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    It could also be that your parents are jealous of the attention that you're receiving from the in-laws.

    Whatever the reason, I think the best thing you could do is to demonstrate financial independence. Tell your parents "thanks but no thanks" and get the washer and dryer yourselves.
     
  9. Sage o' G-fruit

    Sage o' G-fruit Critics gonna critique

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    Tell them how you feel, use the in-laws as an example, and argue the jet and vacation angles.

    I suppose I'm just giving you the skeleton for a good argument, as opposed to giving you advice, but who knows. Might solve something.
     
  10. Lumpy

    Lumpy Taylor Swift Actionmaster Super Mod

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    we have been considering that as an option...we were from the very beginning, just thought about buying them ourselves and if my parents got us something, cool...

    and to the others who are saying i'm being ungrateful, maybe that is true...maybe my parents are using this as a self reliance thing and her parents are spoiling us...that's definitely a possibility...hence why i wanted to post here and get more opinions before i made my next move...so i appreciate the feedback...
     
  11. Tim Formas

    Tim Formas Old Man Administrator

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    My situation was similar when we built our house. Her parents gave us a rather large monetary gift to help with closing, whereas my parents decided not to provide anything.

    I'm fine with it though. As nice as my in-laws gift was, we would have been fine without it to. Growing up, my parents spoiled me enough while also teaching me the value of money. They spent more than enough on me growing up and paid a big majority of my college, so I have absolutely no problem with them not giving me any more money.

    If I need their money in order to buy something, then they failed in teaching me how to be responsible.
     
  12. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    I'm in a similar situation. The in-laws have helped us a lot re: putting together closing costs. My Dad, the incredibly-well-paid doctor, basically said, "Y'all are on your own."

    We could all jump for a million reasons why they do it, but they do. They're parents. I'd say the best response is to take their answers in a dignified manner - if the 'rents don't give you the response you want, politely acknowledge the response, then take care of whatever financial needs you've got on your own. They've closed that avenue.
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2009
  13. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    The double deuce.
     
  14. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    I think there's still a lingering trace of the attitude that you look after the daughters, the sons look after themselves.
     
  15. Ace Convoy

    Ace Convoy Well-Known Member

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    UUUHH Yeah they gave you the correct response.

    no offense but coming out of the blue asking your parents for a New Washer and Dryer is kinda rude........

    Take the old ones then when you can afford to do so upgrade.



    ..........do they really have a plane?!?!?!?1
     
  16. RHansen

    RHansen Sir. Ranbotnic Veteran

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    you're spoiled.

    Get over it, they don't owe you squat, you asked if they were giving you something? I would react in a similar way with a "well now you can go fuck yourself"
     
  17. Lumpy

    Lumpy Taylor Swift Actionmaster Super Mod

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    yeah, they sure do...a 6 seater Cesna...
     
  18. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

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    Don't expect anything, and be grateful for what you get. Ask if only truly in need, which I'm guessing you're not.
     
  19. MetalRyde

    MetalRyde is an a-hole with a heart.

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    the proper thing is to acknowledge them that they are being awfully selfish, inconsiderate, and greedy.

    you and your wife are starting a life/family of your own.
    this shuold be they're final gift to you from your mom and dad to help you on your way.

    now I, METALRYDE would do is beat them senseless, take their cash/force them to write you a check/whatever means to get their money and end it with an assertive "YOU TWO OWE ME!!!" remark.
    that shuold strike fear into them
    :lolol 

    or go on your own. that way you can use it againstt them later.


    I trust you'll do the right thing. :) 

    p.s. you're not ungrateful. and i only say this because your parents OWN.
    A.
    PLANE.
     
  20. Liege Prime

    Liege Prime Well-Known Member

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    This.

    Geez man, sounds like you have a great life and are already getting great help. Just be nice, and maybe you will still be included in the will.
     

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