My House Has Been Targeted

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Autobot_Wall-E, Oct 26, 2009.

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  1. Autobot_Wall-E

    Autobot_Wall-E The Musical

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    Today a bunch of kids on my bus were talking about Mischeif Night and I mentioned something about law enforcement. They told me to my face that theyre gonna hit my house on their little crime spree. I was just sort of indifferent to it for a while but now I'm wondering.

    I'm planning on defending my house, but the problem is that I'll be home alone. I need ideas of how to stop these guys.

    And yes, I do have bully issues.
     
  2. Ratchet2007

    Ratchet2007 Neither Here Nor There

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    Get Camera, Take Pictures, report them ?

    IF they turn up
     
  3. funstorm

    funstorm Doer of nothing

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    post how bummed you are about this on facebook and tell them your going to cry
     
  4. bumblebot98

    bumblebot98 Banned

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    Two words,Camera,Police and your problem is solved.
     
  5. Red Alert

    Red Alert Security

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    Tell your parents and leave it up to them.

    or

    Wait till they show up and call the cops.



    If it was me i would let them start then run out front with a bat and scare the shit out of them.(but that's me)
     
  6. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    Wait til they show up, then hit them from behind with a biology textbook. Finish with a kick to the nuts.
     
  7. tootsmendozer

    tootsmendozer hairy giant

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    erm...isnt a camera rendured useless if there all wearing masks? which i hear are readly available this time of year, water pistols loaded with water and vineger, and yeah tell your parents, and if you know them personally then just give a warning to the police station

    that just goes to show sledge that you really are that strong
     
  8. funstorm

    funstorm Doer of nothing

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    and that he has gotten laid and can play guitar
     
  9. Darkwing48

    Darkwing48 Heroic Decepticon

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    No, that is predictable. You kick them in the nuts then hit them with an Unabridged English Dictionary. They'll learn a few words while they are "out".
     
  10. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    It's not your house. You are a kid living in your parents' house. Tell them what's going on and let them decide how to resolve this. And next time you feel like telling delinquents how to behave like citizens, don't. You're too young to back it up.
     
  11. tootsmendozer

    tootsmendozer hairy giant

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    yeah when he was in like.........whatever grade he was in.....and dude you should hear him play that guitar...
     
  12. Kickback

    Kickback Proud father Administrator Super Mod News Staff

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    Watch Home Alone, the first one. Proceed from there. All your toys may come in handy now.
     
  13. Sage o' G-fruit

    Sage o' G-fruit Critics gonna critique

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    That's your answer to everything, isn't it? :p 
     
  14. Beastbot X

    Beastbot X The Toad Knows.

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    Machine gun.

    One warning, then get at it.

    Landmines could also work too, but they might go off on the wrong people.
     
  15. MegaMoonMan

    MegaMoonMan www.megamoonman.com TFW2005 Supporter

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    It's probably just an empty threat, but if they were stupid enough to say they were going to do something and then actually do it, I think the police would be interested in their little confession.

    Aside from that, get a paintball gun and snipe those bastards from an upstairs window if they come around.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2009
  16. Optimus Sledge

    Optimus Sledge Yar har fiddle di dee

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    Ok, you need to think seriously about your defenses. An electric fence is a given. Guard dogs? A useful early warning system, but don't rule out large pigs. Just as scary, plus they can eat the bodies. If you go this route, don't forget to remove the teeth from the bodies. You can do this afterwards, but you don't want to be rooting through pigshit, do you?

    I'm going to argue against landmines. Too much potential for friendly casualties. So what's left for your exterior defences? Guard towers. Some people would suggest infra red searchlights, I disagree. Remember, the pigs are going to be attacking, so go for the brightest lights you can get. Disorient your attackers so the pigs have a free run at them.

    For a machinegun, some people are going to say a .50 calibre, but that's not the way to go. The ammo's too expensive and totally over the top for unarmoured targets. Go with a 7.63mm or even a 5.56mm so you can fire without worrying about the cost.

    Sidearm? Here you have the typical dilemma of the reliability and simplicity of a revolver vs. the ammo capacity and fast reload of a semi-auto. I say, why choose? Carry an 8-shot S&W .357 and a high capacity 9mm semi-auto. Some would say a .45 semi-auto, but a decent 9mm hollowpoint will do the job and offer two to three times the magazine capacity. Remember, you've also got a .357 revolver, the semi-auto is there for high capacity.

    This is all fine and good for repelling most of the assault, but you need to be prepared if anyone breaches your defenses. Keep in mind that by this point, you will be up against someone who has been electrocuted, dazzled, shot at and mauled by pigs. Your opponent won't be in much state for a fight. Therefore your combat gear at this stage should consist of your birthday suit, an erection, and the phrase "Well hello there. Time for some bum fun, what?"

    Or you could just tell your parents that some kids might throw toilet paper at the house tonight and stop acting like it's a big deal. Depends on your budget.
     
  17. funstorm

    funstorm Doer of nothing

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    ^ no moat?
     
  18. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    Moats can lead to moisture in the basement. And that's a mood killer!
     
  19. Kando

    Kando Well-Known Member

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    Come down on them like the Hand of God!™
     
  20. funstorm

    funstorm Doer of nothing

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    is it? or is it a great opportunity for an underground pool? underground pool party yay!
     
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