My best friend became a woman! o.O

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by rapid_fire, Jan 24, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. rapid_fire

    rapid_fire TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Posts:
    3,931
    Trophy Points:
    292
    Likes:
    +377
    So long story short I grew up being friends with what I considered a brother for years and years and years. His name was Kev, as teenagers we hung out all the time, went on random adventures, got into trouble, typical best buddies, who were always there for each other. Then somewhere out of the mist when we were in out mid 20's he came out of the closet. This shocked me of course, I knew the guy for 10 years at the time, had no idea (I am straight btw). I was able to shrug my shoulders and support his new life style, it happens right? He eventually got married a few years later to a guy a few years older then him, I was happy for him, after he was sleeping around with who knows how many guys he finally found one he thought he could settle down with and start a family. I was his best man at his wedding and stood right next to him as he wed the man of his life.

    But then something last year surprised me, I found out he was taking estrogen pills. I never actually confronted him about them, I just saw them sitting on the table one day. Half a year later he's now legally changed his name to Sarah and is wearing fake boobs and girls clothes, and on facebook now refers to himself as female.

    Is my long friend Kev gone forever? Has this woman consumed him? His husband has now just broken up with him because he wanted to marry a man, not a woman. I feel Kev has died and my best friend gone forever. I actually haven't talked to him since after he started taking estrogen pills. I guess it bothers me he's done this to himself, and I really feel bad for his husband who really thought he was gonna be happy with Kev.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2012
  2. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Posts:
    24,229
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    367
    Likes:
    +1,104
    Cool you should give her your support because all she's doing is trying to become the person she can be happy being. She is no less the person who was/is your friend than any person you've been friends with for years who has changed and grown in various ways over a period of time.

    Unless of course she's taking these estrogen pills without medical supervison or oversight in which case you should reccommend she gets that.
     
  3. The621

    The621 Fuck you, that's why!

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
    Posts:
    4,984
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    202
    Likes:
    +6
    What Aernaroth said.

    This is random and odd. Yet it shouldn't change anything unless if this becomes personal or you two get into giant arguments over your friendship or serious matters.
     
  4. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Posts:
    12,543
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    201
    Likes:
    +11
    Only one way to find out. Give her a call.

    In other news, I suddenly feel in the mood for some Aerosmith.
     
  5. Wheeljack_Prime

    Wheeljack_Prime Don't eat me

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2008
    Posts:
    11,702
    News Credits:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    277
    Likes:
    +334
    Stay friends with him, sounds like he needs some support no matter if you agree or not. Yes, him. You're not a woman unless you have two X chromosomes.
     
  6. rattrap007

    rattrap007 one with the Force TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2002
    Posts:
    15,505
    News Credits:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    417
    Location:
    Evansville, IN
    Likes:
    +485
    I'm kinda on the fence on this.

    I never understood changing one's sex. To me you can get your balls chopped off but you are never really a woman. To me unless you have the reproductive organs (Uterus, etc) then you are never truly changing your gender. You are just playing dress up and pretend as far as I'm concerned. But if someone does decide to do that it is their right and choice.

    I am fine with gay marriage and all. Who am I to talk. I am straight, but I am asexual and aromantic. Sex and romance hold no interest in me. That isn't to say I am incapable of love. I can love family and friends. If I had a son or daughter I could love them like any normal parent. I just have no desire to date or to get married. So yeah I am abnormal as well. If you find someone you can love and loves you then all the more power to you.

    I do hope your friend does find happiness however. I say continue to be his friend. Perhaps get to understand he reasons for the change.
     
  7. KA

    KA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2003
    Posts:
    23,280
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    327
    Likes:
    +66
    I think if theres some discomfort on ur part u reserve the right to air it out. Not so much as an ultimatum but u deserve a straight up explanation since u have been so receptive/supportive. For all u know hes been waiting somebody to ask him that question w/o going the psychiatrist route.
     
  8. Dragonclaw

    Dragonclaw Comic Ink - Dublin, CA

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2003
    Posts:
    6,610
    News Credits:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    262
    Likes:
    +229
    She was your friend as a guy there's no reason to think she wont be just as much your freind as a woman.

    I went through an almost identical situation with a high school friend...who is still very much my freind after more than 25 years! The best advice I can give you is be upfront...feel free to steal this...."We've been friends a long time and I'll admit, I'm a little weirded out and this will take some getting used to, but when the chips are down you are my friend and I've got your back no matter what." It's probably exactly what your friend needs to hear, especially if the divorce is as painful as they usually are.

    You may have lost a brother, but you've gained a sister who probably acts exactly the same as what you're used to. No point throwing away a perfectly good friendship.
     
  9. Gingerchris

    Gingerchris Telly-headed Tyrant

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2005
    Posts:
    14,851
    News Credits:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    287
    Likes:
    +166
    I'd agree with pretty much all of the above. I know several people that have gone through or are in the process of going through what your friend is in terms of changing (but not the divorce thing). Unless you're utterly against sex changes then I'd say support your friend. Sure it's a big change for you but just remember it's an even bigger change for your friend. The best thing is to have a proper talk with your friend and sort everything out and hopefully reach an understanding. Posting here is fine for advice but we're not really the people you should be talking to about your concerns and how you feel.
     
  10. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Posts:
    8,094
    News Credits:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    267
    Likes:
    +14
    Ebay:
    "You gonna hit that?" post in 3...2...
     
  11. Cogar

    Cogar Follower of the Code

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2012
    Posts:
    565
    Trophy Points:
    112
    Likes:
    +2
    I agree with much of the previous posts, although I would use the word "empathize" rather than "sympathize." In other words, you are trying to understand the behavior/lifestyle choices, not necessarily pretend to support them. You are still (it seems) friends, so you can keep it at that. Once you fully understand her reasoning (if you ever discuss it), then the path you should take (or stay on) will be clearer. I would guess that right now she needs "silent companionship" more than someone giving her advice. (Which she probably got in spades from her soon-to-be ex.)
     
  12. ironjazz

    ironjazz Tie Fighter pilot

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Posts:
    2,320
    News Credits:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +5
    okay?? o_O 
     
  13. Wars

    Wars Regular At Swerve's™

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2009
    Posts:
    15,426
    News Credits:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    332
    Location:
    The Emerald Isles
    Likes:
    +1,036
    Twitter:
    Flickr:
    Tumblr:
    She may be different on the outside, but it's still Kev on the inside. She's still the same person you had adventures with and got into trouble with.

    And if you want an explanation for her taking of the estrogen, then ask. If she truly is your best friend, she'll give you an honest answer.
     
  14. Liege Prime

    Liege Prime Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Posts:
    8,913
    News Credits:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    287
    Likes:
    +552
    I would honestly think that if someone were in a homosexual relationship then both would want eachother to be the same sex, so I find it odd that he would want to be a she, but I'm not in the person's brain.

    I think you should just talk to him, try to be understanding and be honest with your feelings. If you are as close of friends as you say, I don't see the issue with it.
     
  15. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Not today Galvatron!

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Posts:
    15,595
    News Credits:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    337
    Location:
    Long Island
    Likes:
    +352
    Twitter:
    Does this make their marriage legal everywhere now? Just curious.
     
  16. Wars

    Wars Regular At Swerve's™

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2009
    Posts:
    15,426
    News Credits:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    332
    Location:
    The Emerald Isles
    Likes:
    +1,036
    Twitter:
    Flickr:
    Tumblr:
    I think that the fact that they're now divorced renders that question moot.
     
  17. Murasame

    Murasame CHIMICHANGAS

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Posts:
    17,288
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    312
    Location:
    The Lost Light
    Likes:
    +1,658
    I know it's hard, but although he looks different and sounds different, he's still the guy you grew up with. Your best friend. Talk to him.
     
  18. rattraprules98

    rattraprules98 AKA Chr0nus

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Posts:
    3,656
    News Credits:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    177
    Location:
    California
    Likes:
    +37
    o_O  Wow uuhhh weird...
     
  19. TFW10

    TFW10 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2011
    Posts:
    8,224
    News Credits:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    222
    Likes:
    +162
    I friend stays a friend no matter what, give the person a call or just email her if you find it hard to call her.
     
  20. Starfire22

    Starfire22 Wall crawling menace!

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Posts:
    11,837
    News Credits:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    287
    Location:
    The middle of America.
    Likes:
    +788
    Honestly (almost) everything everyone said is right, just because someone has changed on the outside, doesn't mean they're the same on the outside. Be there for him/her. (However you perfer it)

    Also, educate an idiot here, what are estrogen pills?
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page