Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a question

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Talathia, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. Talathia

    Talathia TFW's Cool Little Heathen

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    I've been wondering, and kind of hope to create some book or something about it someday. I mean, society pretty much labels girls this way and guys that way and you MUST do THIS if you're a girl or THAT if you're a guy. And if you don't you're either transgendered or homosexual, or something is wrong with you and there for society sees it fit to help correct you out of pity or reticule you for not being how your gender 'should' be.

    I by no means act like the stereotypical girl. I dress mostly like a guy, and really don't give a damn about fashion. I'll wear a nice fitting t-shirt with a decal I like on it. That's about it. I'm quite comfortable being female, and I dig men over women. I've had people both try and kindly help me with makeup and things, only to feel like I was being drug into something, kicking and screaming and feeling ashamed of myself. I've also had people be very cruel because of how I am.

    SO yeah, I'm wondering, as a child, and even now;

    Guys and girls?
    What did all of you play with? How did you play with your toys? Did you play any sports? Were you into any kinds of programs? Did you do what was out of the social 'norm' for your gender? And now, today, what's your calling and so on and so forth. Feel free to elaborate.

    This is cross-posted from my live journal, while I have mostly girls on my friends list I wanted to cross-post this here since there are a large number of men.

    Myself?
    Memories from my childhood are vague at best. But I do remember playing games of make believe, where I was animal or monster of some type chasing the school-yard children around and 'hunting' them as they played along with me. When my brother came around we'd play with the hotwheels and matchbox cars, giving them voices and personalities of their own. And possibly the Transformers (I was told he did get a few as a kid). I was given My Little Ponies and Barbies as a kid, but didn't really play too much with them. Loved Spike however. X).. (ahaha Welker). And when Jurassic Park came out, along with this neat company that made life like animals, I started playing with them. The ponies and Barbies soon became food for the dinosaurs and animals.
    ...And I wonder why the Barbies and MLP were suddenly "given away".
    I was never into Ballet, or any of the other programs my mother made me join. It was more of a trophy issue "look how great my daughter is blah blah blah". I was content playing make believe games with my toys and acting out my characters with them, or drawing for hours on end. Video games too, were a plus. And thankfully because I had vision problems as a kid. The eye doctor highly recommended video-game play as it would help my hand eye coordination.
    In short, as a child I acted pretty androgynous, or neither way. I never felt right when I was forced to be like a pretty-little-girl. But I didn't want to be a boy either. I was simply, me. Never cared for makeup, or girlie things. I didn't care for sports either, outside of street hockey, which I was pretty good at. But then again, I don't remember there ever being a girls league hockey teem in my area.
    I also played a lot of games/acting out these stories with my stuffed animals, toy animals, toy dinosaurs, and so on. This is what was really the basis for some of my characters I have today.
    In my pre-teens, my cousins, brother, and I would play these army like games of hide and seek. Dressing in camo and hiding in very difficult hard to get into spots in the woods and staying there for hours. Laughing to ourselves as my brother would storm around trying to find us.

    Today? I'd rather spend the day playing video games or working on a car or our boat... and drawing :p . I can't stand shopping. Seriously, when I go shopping for whatever, I quickly go to where it's at then dart out of the store/mall as quick as I can with out running. I usually don't shop for long periods of a time unless the group I'm going with offers food. (which I was told, "dude that is totally what a guy would do!") you know, endure hours of torment inside a Macy's watching whatever group I'm with babble about clothing as I day dream about the delious Outback Steak I'll be feasting on sooner or later.
    The whole relationship/dating thing is nothing short of a cluster-fu*k of mixed emotions on the subject. While I would like finding a guy who'd treat me well and so on and someone to share times with and ect, and regardless of their looks. I have this care-free "I can live with out it" attitude. Then again, I never really had it in the first place. So I don't really know what signs to look for when a guy is making that kind of 'contact' with me. Pepole have told me I can't find happiness with out a boyfriend, and I think it's crap. This, sadly, often gives me the lesbian label. While there's nothing wrong with homosexuals or transgenders (granted they were the -nicest- to me in High School). So yeah.. the "now" period of lacking the social girlie norms. I.. could never ever picture myself as a stay-at-home wife. I like being the protector/provider.

    There was this pretty interesting test I took a while back, which asked you totally off the wall questions which would make you think have NOTHING to do with gender. There were four possible answers. "male", "female", "both", and "neither". It told which gender you were psychologically, like which one did you think like most. Mine was Neither, then Male, the Both, then Female at the very bottom.
     
  2. Soundblaster1

    Soundblaster1 The Heisenberg of Toys

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    What did all of you play with.
    Transformers. Beast Wars, actually. Probably explains why I like biology so much

    How did you play with your toys.
    Carefully. Almost everything is complete, unbroken, and in good condition today.

    Did you play an sports?
    Hell no. Too dangerous.

    Were you into any kinds of programs?
    Quiz Bowl. Kinda like team Jeopardy.

    Did you do what was out of the social 'norm' for your gender?
    'norm' = sports.

    And now, today, what's your calling and so on and so forth.
    Nerdy stuff.
     
  3. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    I was pretty much a "normal" boy, I played with Hot Wheels, He-Man, Transformers, and many other "boy's toys" I owned a BB gun, liked to ride my bike and loved playing kickball and football.

    I was very rough with my toys, I broke nearly all of them, or shot them with a BB gun, or dropped them into containers of gasoline to see what would happen. I also liked to take things apart to see how they worked.

    I was in a volunteer group for a while (when I was a teenager) that worked with habitat for humanity and such to build housing for needy families, they also did peer counseling for troubled teens. I mainly got into this because all of the girls involved in it seemed liked they liked sex quite a bit, but I eventually appreciated what the group was doing.

    The only place I was "different" was I didn't like watching sports on TV nor did I follow any pro or college sports, I just had and still have absolutely no interest in it.

    People are kind of shocked by this, being that I come off as very much a "manly man" who's into cars, guitars and big boobs, but I simply have no interest in watching or following sports.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2007
  4. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    I have an answer:

    It's "gentlemen," not "Gentalmen."
     
  5. Talathia

    Talathia TFW's Cool Little Heathen

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    Yes I tried to edit that, but uh, couldn't. Yo 8| Mods? Please?
     
  6. thoughtcrime

    thoughtcrime Well-Known Member

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    I'm more or less in the same boat as Dark_Convoy- I am a very typical and average male, but I actively dislike sports in any form. I consider them (and the worship of their participants) as a fundamental flaw in society. Other then that I'm all about every other typical "guy" cliche.

    As a kid I played with all the usual 'macho' toys like TF, Joe, He-Man, MASK, plus Ghostbusters, more cerebral toys like Lego, Construx (anyone else remember these?) and also brainy/nerdy crap like science kits. I also read a lot and made things out of things I had lying around. I was very much into tinkering disassembing toys and things and reassembling them into new ones. Later on I got into model building, and got quite good by the end of high school, when i gave it up to go to college.
     
  7. Commander_V

    Commander_V I have no title HAH

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    I was also a relatively non-stereotypical female, and, according to everyone who knows me, still am.
    My favorite toys when I was little were the little plastic Army Men figures. I think we easily had a few hundred of the things. I LOVED them to death and played hours upon hours of countless war games with my brother. We even made foxholes out of furniture indoors, had walkie-talkies to communicate when one of us was outside in the backyard, and made trenches in the dirt, using water balloons for mortars.
    I did, however, also have a favorite doll - Raggedy Ann - that slept with me at night until I was about 7.

    When I was 6, someone bought me a Barbie doll... her sad, exiled existence came to an abrupt end after I cut off all her hair, plopped her into the charcoal grill outside, and set her on fire so I could see how fast she'd melt and what her innards looked like.
    Later, some fool bought me a Holly Hobbie doll for my birthday one year.... her reclusive life also came to an sudden halt when she was dissected into many pieces and reworked into a zombie slave who was given as a gift to King Zarkon, and subsequently destroyed by Voltron (read: a homemade M-40) when she was sent to destroy earth as a robeast. Red yarn makes for surprisingly good looking intestines when blown apart... good times, good times.

    When Transformers came out, I was hooked hardcore from the start. Unfortunately, my being a girl = brother dear got the big lot of them. I got 2 *grumble*
    I also loved Thundercats, GiJoe, Voltron, G-Force, StarBlazers, RoboTech, and all forms of anime... yep, cartoon nut.

    I played and still like to play sports, but never and not competitively. I like to play soccer, football, tennis, racquetball, and disc golf. I love hockey - period. I also love martial arts, especially Tai-chi. I would still rather play Risk, Chess, or any of a hundred video games.

    I still play video games, read comics, PnP gaming, still love toys, anything computer related, and am still happiest in a pair of jeans and a comfortable t-shirt... cause climbing trees in a skirt really sucks. Hah.
    My calling? I'm a geek/otaku mom raising 2 geek kids with a geek husband, and I cherish every minute of it.
     
  8. Altercron

    Altercron Well-Known Member

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    What did all of you play with.
    Transformers, G.I.Joe, TMNT, LEGO that was about it I couldnt afford the Power Ranger toys I wanted (being the zords, because they reminded me of TF)

    How did you play with your toys.
    Depends on the age, younger, roughly I actually smashed some of my Joes into peices with rocks because I wanted to have Cobra's base destroyed by the Joes, I lost three Crimson Guards in one day to a 15 pound rock (no idea how I lifted that thing at the time), not to kids, the missiles back in them days were actually pretty strong for being so small. When I got older, I was much more careful.

    Did you play an sports?
    Only sport I like is Hockey, and my high school doesnt have a hockey team.

    Were you into any kinds of programs?
    I was in Academic Decatholan. Again, a Jeopordy style thing, but much less fun

    Did you do what was out of the social 'norm' for your gender?
    yeah, every possible definition was most likely a fit for me.

    And now, today, what's your calling and so on and so forth.
    Anything remotely robotic seems to fit.
     
  9. ABH1979

    ABH1979 Blue Boba Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    I played with the cool toys Transformers, Star Wars, GI Joe, He-man, Super Powers (DC figs) etc. Though, I also played with My Little Ponies, once or twice. I used to play with the daughter of one of my mother's friends when I was young. She had the castle and this little cutsie dragon type character, so I played with that while she played with the ponies. I also played "barbie dolls" with my cousin when I was young. Though, my version of that was Ken taking out the corvette and leaving Barbie at home = rock. Oh, and I was never into sports.
     
  10. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    Whenever I got a hold of Barbie dolls as a kid it ended up with Barbie being stripped nude and Ken on top of her...
     
  11. ABH1979

    ABH1979 Blue Boba Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    Yeah, but it just doesn't seem right when you're playing with your cousin and she's using Barbie, ya know?
     
  12. Spider Striker

    Spider Striker ThisGuyWithTheYellowCap

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    Then:
    I played mostly with matchbox cars and HotWheels, and especially anything that was a Transforming robot (even GoBots). I did however, have a small "family" of dolls I loved and cared for like a parent (or least a 6 year-old's best attempt at being a parent). I even went so far as to nurse them (go ahead, laugh).

    I think I got along about the same with boys and girls, but most of my playmates were my all girl cousins. I had no problem playing House and Barbie, though I would often work in super-heroes and the like.

    In school, I don't think there was anything "socially normal" about me. I was more or less a nerd, and teased horribly. I came to loathe sports as I was bad at them, and gym class was where the mocking was the worst. Though most of high school, I was very shy and quiet, talking only to a selcet few who wer actually nice to me. High school is also when I really got into the Internet and talking to people through e-mail and IMs.

    Now:
    My first summer working here, I was told several times by a co-worker that I need "guy lessons" because of my tastes in music. I know nothing about cars and don't even have a lisence. Never drunken anything more than a single beer at any one time. I like musicals.

    I've become more or less neautral on sports, though I still hate football because the town I currently live in becomes a mess whenever there's a home game.

    Off the top of my head, the only real stereotype I think I fit is that I love breasts. Oh do I ever.

    I seem to get along better with girls now, though all they want from me is friendship it seems. (And that one sentence more or less sums up my entire romantic history.)

    As for "social norms," I'm still a hardcore geek. Most of my money goes to toys and catroons on DVD (can't wait for Teen Titans season 4). Still spend a lot of time on the 'Net (hello), and consider many of the people I've met online my best friends.

    I consdier my "calling" to be whatever keeps a roof over my head, food in my belly and still allow me to pursue my passions (writing, video editing, toys, etc). I currently have that, and fate has smiled so that I greatly enjoy my job to boot. :) 
     
  13. Prowl_Delta_31

    Prowl_Delta_31 Eating your donuts

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    What did all of you play with.
    I played with Transformers, G.I. Joe, Ninja Turtles, LEGOS.

    How did you play with your toys.
    I was always kinda gentle with my stuff and still have alot of them today.

    Did you play an sports?
    I played every sport you can think of in high school. Wrestle, Baseball, Football, Soccer. My best was football though.

    Were you into any kinds of programs?
    I did tons of community work. Did alot of stuff with the homeless shelter and mentally challenged groups such as the special olympics.

    Did you do what was out of the social 'norm' for your gender?
    Not really. I guess you can really say I was the All American Country Boy.

    And now, today, what's your calling and so on and so forth.
    Law Enforcment has really always been my calling and thats what I do today. I really love to help people and make myself feel like I'm making a change in my community.
     
  14. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    Whatever you say princess.
     
  15. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

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    lessee.

    heavy into toys up till 13 at least, gave em away at 14 when i discovered porn (VHS, not career in). took good care of em too (toys, not porn VHS), to the point of, eh, appropriating my brothers. bwahaha.

    was not into sports until 16, play basketball, still do. but basically still a nerd. was into girls then but still too much of a nerd to hook up. fortunately manage to get laid by the time i got college, it was like, my nerdness went into stealth mode or something.

    anyways, on to your own query, i dont think its unhealthy that your averse to girlie stuff despite being into guys. that said, you have nobody else to blame if you feel that theres something abt you thats not inviting to guys and at least give it a chance. it all boils down to priorities i guess.

    ...what was the question again?
     
  16. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Always remember you're unique.



    Just like everybody else.
     
  17. Night Flame

    Night Flame TFW2005 Supporter

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    You know what I get out of this entire thing?

    Girl's, don't be afraid to dress like a boy. Tomboys are freakin' H-O-T hot hot hot. And did I mention HOT?

    Oh, and I've spent most of my life being told I'm homosexual, even though I pretty much don't like any other guy's body. Don't like my own all that much either. But I do like frilly, fru-fru type things sometimes. Like to dress snazzy from time to time. Like a clean house. Like to cook. Basically, all the supposed "girly" things.

    But I like da wimmins too, so *PFFFFFFFFFT*.

    I don't know, at some point in my teen years I just realized, "wow, if the worst thing you can come up with to call me is homosexual, then I'm probably doing OK." *SHRUG* And from that point on I just didn't care about the whole gender role thing. It was either that, or let it drive me batty like it did with that one kid I grew up with. That poor guy still doesn't know who he is. He's constantly flitting between trying to be who he thinks he is, and trying to be who everyone else wants him to be. Just do what feels right and tell the rest of the world to eat it. You'll feel better in the long run.
     
  18. Sycia

    Sycia Draconian Faction

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    Yep. Unique, like everyone else.

    Anyway,

    What did I play with? Pencil/ pen, paper, my imagination and mostly animal toys. It didn't matter which gender-orientated toys I was given, the animals usually got better treatment. Barbie dolls got their heads popped off (I seriously find doll eyes creepy), He-man, GI-Joe and stuff lasted a little longer, but the ones that really stayed with me were random animals like some huge robot bird from Silverhawks, He-man's green tiger, My Little Pony. Since I was an extreme loner, I pretty much grew up into my own niche 'gender' without much of outside influence to affect me. My parents are fortunately not particular about how a female or male should or shouldn't act.

    I wasn't into sports until elementary school, where I represented my schools in swimming and basketball. I like sports, but have to be in the mood for that kind of thing. Soccer, rugby, cycling, and stuff. Nope, I didn't come out of my hermit shell even with those activities.

    Programs? No. Like I said earlier, I pretty much grew up on my own. My mom tried to have me take up art or language classes to get me to socialize back when I was wee, but it didn't work. Eventually grew out of the hermit, dream-like state and though still very much a private person, I am able to fake a social image at the very least.

    Do I do anything out of the social norm for my gender? Well... I see myself as neither, either and both genders (I believe we all possess mindset for either gender, just in different percentages), so I wouldn't think so. I just don't like it when people say I should or shouldn't do something just because I'm a certain physical gender. That's not even gender-related anymore, it's being a effing control freak and trying to tell me how I should live my life. Like in Asia, it's the norm to get married and have kids. Right. I like kids. Fried to perfection, thanks. But hey, I like cute plushes. Are these gender-related? Don't think so.

    As a final note, being a cynical person helps to see past a lot of things society slaps on you as a label, but society itself doesn't appreciate it when I go around insulting both genders for dumb acts of varying degrees. :D 
     
  19. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

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    Growing up, I played with a good deal of things. With my brother, it was Transformers, Go-Bots, and Star Trek figures. By myself or with friends, I played anything from Barbie dolls to Care Bears to Disney playsets to My Little Ponies. For the most part, I just played with all of these toys normally... just like anybody else who played with them would.

    Didn't play any sports. Have wanted to try to at some point or another, but then my interests in things do change when I lose enthusiasm. But for two years in high school I was a member of a writer's club, and got the chance to do a couple of poetry slams. That's about it for sports and programs.

    I don't know what's the "social norm" for girls growing up in the '90s (I was born in '86, but I only remember the '90s), so I wouldn't know. For the most part, nobody ever complained that I acted "differently." I was just simply... unique (I don't say weird or different, I say that everyone is unique in their own little way). As for what I'm being called today... I don't know. Nobody ever complains about the way I am. Though, I would say that I'm a tomboy. Like, I just throw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. That's my usual attire.

    Talathia, not everyone has to act the way the media portrays men and women. If we all acted the same as everyone else in our gender, then there'd be no diversity. Each individual has a personality of their own, regardless of gender and ethnicity. Never ever let everyone's remarks about you being more like a man than a woman get to you. For me, I'd care less what everyone thinks of me. Nobody's perfect, after all.
     
  20. TonyzCustomz

    TonyzCustomz Am I doin it rite? TFW2005 Supporter

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    What did all of you play with?
    G. I. Joes, Transformers, Power Rangers, TMNT, Cars.
    How did you play with your toys?
    Just like reenacting episodes or making up little stories.
    Did you play any sports?
    Nope
    Were you into any kinds of programs?
    Karate, Boxing, Pokemon League lol
    Did you do what was out of the social 'norm' for your gender?
    No sports I guess, played with my sister and her dolls but I hated it, just did it to make her happy.
    And now, today, what's your calling and so on and so forth.
    I am a Crazy loose collector of any toys that I like and have my own in progress website, Still going to school for graphic design but working at a construction company as a dispatcher in the mean time.

    These feelings and thoughts must be pretty hard for you, hope you can work it out. I also second Night Flame on the tom boy look a tank top and slightly loose jeans are always hot.
     

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