I've pretty much hit rock bottom... and it's full of pointy rocks.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Zeta Otaku, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Zeta Otaku

    Zeta Otaku Who ya gonna call? TFW2005 Supporter

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    Where to begin?

    Well, first off, yeah, I know I'm depressed. I try to stay upbeat and all that stuff to keep from people from worrying about me. I hate having people worry about me. I used to go to a shrink, but that's when I had this magical thing called insurance to help cover it.

    I know what brought this on, I know what's prolonging it, and I know I have to change something, but, I can't yet. My job sucks. I work for a sheet metal shop and I hate everything about it. I hate the work, I hate the employees, and I hate the hours. Oh, sure, if I survive the next 3 1/2 years of apprenticeship, I can move on to something that's NOT working in the shop... but I've gotten hurt real bad already and I just don't see myself living through this. I know! I should quit, right? Wrong. I live at home still (something I don't want to do) and my dad helped get me this shitty job. He's flat out told me if I lose this job or quit, even for another job, he'll throw me out. No pressure. My only salvation is that for the last two weeks is that the shop has been closed due to a lack of work.

    Another thing keeping me down is that I'm in love with this girl who doesn't feel the same way about me. So, we're friends. Great. Doesn't change how I feel about her and she's moving to Iowa for two years for college. I can only hope that I'll either get over her while she's gone or with some grace of God she'll realize "Hey, let me give him a shot." I don't see either being very likely.

    I don't drink often, I don't drug it up, I hate clubs and most bars, and internet dating has been nothing short of a joke for me. My social activity revolves around my small circle of friends. My ability to meet people is severely limited by that since I guess I've got a mild case of social anxiety. I'm completely stuck in my shell if I know no one at a place.

    I know there are people that have it worse than me. I realize that, but logic doesn't always apply to emotions.

    Anyone else go through times like these? What helps you through it? Right now I'm doing whatever I can to escape from reality... which is really not healthy.
     
  2. Malach Ra

    Malach Ra TFW2005 Supporter

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    this is easier said than done, but here it goes:

    If your unhappy man, make a descision to make a change, and follow thru with it. and then see where that takes you. get a different job, get kicked out of the house, kick the girl to the curb, find a new chick that loves you the way you want to be loved or whatnot. somtimes man, you got to say fuck it, and do what YOU want to do. thats the best advice I can give you. and dont drink while you feel down or like this.

    I feel like this from time to time to, its pretty natural man. go for a run or do some activity, you'll feel somewhata better. get a gym membership, join some sort of club, take karate, anything is better than nothing when your feeling like this. dont do anything stupid that you wont have a chance to regret later(you know what I mean).
    best of luck man. hope i could help alittle.-MR
     
  3. Zeta Otaku

    Zeta Otaku Who ya gonna call? TFW2005 Supporter

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    like I said, I'm pretty trapped. if I get booted, I'm done. I really have no cash to my name. I have a budget to fool around with, but that revolves around still living at home. I owe a LOT to some credit card companies and such. At the end of the week, I have enough cash for gas for the week and a little fun on the weekend... but not much.

    If I get the boot, I'm good as dead.
     
  4. ZecksKitty

    ZecksKitty Banned

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    You've got like decades before you're a failure. Just by chance some good things will eventually get thrown at you, so it's cool.

    The most important thing is to forget about the chick. She doesn't like you, so you shouldn't bother.

    And if all else fails, you can write and angsty poam or something.
     
  5. ZecksKitty

    ZecksKitty Banned

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    Well what the problem then? You don't have a choice, so stick with it. In three years you'll get to stop doing the work you hate, so it'll be alright. You'll come out of your shell by then probably, and make some friends with co-workers.

    Eventually you'll get a girlfriend, make good money, shoot out some babies. You'll probably be in debt still, but it won't be that bad if you work to control it.

    It's all good, mon.
     
  6. Malach Ra

    Malach Ra TFW2005 Supporter

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    youre never as good as dead, your better than that man. money is just money, it comes and goes. people out there also love you. credit cards arent shit compared to your health and mind. hell man, I dont even know you but I'm still willing care enough to help you not do something stupid. pm me dude. I think I can help you at least feel better about yourself and your situation.
     
  7. Zeta Otaku

    Zeta Otaku Who ya gonna call? TFW2005 Supporter

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    LOL! Shoot out some babies... nice mental image there...

    The thing is that I've already had my head sliced open and my hand nearly crushed (finger nails should grow back soon...) and my co-workers are older than me, but are way less mature than I am. If I could help it, I would have nothing to do with them. And for me, a guy who collects toys and has a full ghostbusters costume in the corner, to call other immature is REALLY saying something.

    I'm really not too concerned about a girlfriend anyway. Between this girl, my ex, and the horrible dates in between... taking a break from dating is definitely a good thing...
     
  8. ZecksKitty

    ZecksKitty Banned

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    Credit cards and money are pretty important in regards to someone's health and mind, though.
     
  9. Zeta Otaku

    Zeta Otaku Who ya gonna call? TFW2005 Supporter

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    well, thanks... but hey, I'm not going to kill myself! Fuck no!! I'm just down. I know things will get better... I just needed to rant and bitch.
     
  10. Vangelus

    Vangelus Long Live the New Flesh Moderator Content Contributor

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    Having some friends to talk to is one of the best things you can focus on.

    Maybe try to pool your funds into something that could turn into a couple months rent, and try to roomie up with a couple of them. It sounds to me like the worst part of all this is the sword your dad is holding over your head. Getting out of there and into something even temporary that isn't a total hell will likely do you good, whether or not it means going through with the entire apprenticeship.

    Try to get over the girl, and kudos for not turning to drugs and booze!

    And yes, lots of folks go through times like these. Best thing to do is take what good you can, and remember that nothing's set in stone.
     
  11. Zeta Otaku

    Zeta Otaku Who ya gonna call? TFW2005 Supporter

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    Thanks for the advice Vang...

    My friends and I have talked about it, and tried it once... for a week... we almost killed each other... granted we're older and more mature, but still...

    My sister is getting her own house soon and she's told me plenty of times that when she had her own place, I'd be more than welcome to stay there if and when I ever needed to get out of my parents' house. I might take her up on that offfer.
     
  12. ZecksKitty

    ZecksKitty Banned

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    If she was your sexy step sister who likes to wear towels around the house, this story would be better.. But it's good from your perspective.
     
  13. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    I've been there, man. And everybody tells you that things will get better, which can piss you off sometimes, because, how can they know? Well, chances are, it will get better. I felt like my life was going to suck forever, but if you just keep going with your chin up and accept that it is ok to be down sometimes, you'll make it.

    My turning point was 22. Sometimes it takes more time, sometimes less. It's always worth it to survive the shitty times, because the good times make you forget them.

    I don't even remember what being miserable felt like anymore. Sometimes I even feel like I wish I was miserable again, just so I could remember what it felt like ( a stupid thought, I know).

    But yeah, tell the girl how you feel, and get it over with. You'll feel better in the long run. And I would either try to make it that last 3 years or so at your job, or start looking for a better one, even if it means getting kicked out. Maybe you need to consolidate your debt? It helped a friend of mine.
     
  14. Vangelus

    Vangelus Long Live the New Flesh Moderator Content Contributor

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    Totally inquire about it man. None of my business, but your current deal with your dad is probably -seriously- making it hard to relax when you get home, even if the tenseness is subconscious. I'd guess the sense of "this is where I live and rest" is kinda haphazard when the condition to stay there is so tenuous. :/
     
  15. Malach Ra

    Malach Ra TFW2005 Supporter

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    thats a relief man. rant all you want.

    zeckskitty, they dont matter in the bigger scope of things. they matter, but getting a person some help when he's feeling down needs to be taken care of first and matters most, the money problems can be dealt with later.
     
  16. Zeta Otaku

    Zeta Otaku Who ya gonna call? TFW2005 Supporter

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    Mal, you are right to a point, but when you have debt and have plans for the future, it IS a big, heavy burden and is a huge source of my stress.

    I... I don't know whether to be disturbed or mildly arroused by that statement... either way, it helped lighten my mood ^_^
     
  17. Vector Sigma

    Vector Sigma <b><i><font color=FFFF00>Crazy Colon Burner!!!!</b Veteran

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    Best of luck with things buddy, although I really can't offer much advice, I do wish you the best and hope things start looking up. Keep safe buddy...
     
  18. Malach Ra

    Malach Ra TFW2005 Supporter

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    then if thats the thing that is bothering you the most, figure out a way to deal with it. once you figure it out you'll start ot feel better. look for a better job. that could help. anyways, I'm out. best of luck-MR
     
  19. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Arise Rodimus Prime

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    If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always IM me :D  I don't know any other way I can you help you out though. But I hope things work out for you :thumb 
     
  20. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    Get over her.
    Get over her.
    Get over her.

    Seriously, her moving away is a good thing. You don't need to be friends with someone you have these kinds of feelings for, all it does is make you miserable.

    When I was a teenager, there was this girl, we'll call her "The one who got away." I had no trouble finding dates or fuck-buddies back then, but there was this one girl I wanted to be with. She said I was her best friend and like a brother to her.

    I told her on several occasions that I wanted to be "more than friends" and she would always shoot me down. It got to the point where it didn't matter how many girls I met or randomly slept with, I would still feel like a piece of shit just because of this one person.

    It took me breaking all contact with her to get over it, sometimes it's just not going to happen no matter what.

    Don't fool yourself into thinking it will, don't waste your time being depressed, beating yourself up and pining over her.

    No good will ever come of it.
     

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