Where to begin? Well, first off, yeah, I know I'm depressed. I try to stay upbeat and all that stuff to keep from people from worrying about me. I hate having people worry about me. I used to go to a shrink, but that's when I had this magical thing called insurance to help cover it. I know what brought this on, I know what's prolonging it, and I know I have to change something, but, I can't yet. My job sucks. I work for a sheet metal shop and I hate everything about it. I hate the work, I hate the employees, and I hate the hours. Oh, sure, if I survive the next 3 1/2 years of apprenticeship, I can move on to something that's NOT working in the shop... but I've gotten hurt real bad already and I just don't see myself living through this. I know! I should quit, right? Wrong. I live at home still (something I don't want to do) and my dad helped get me this shitty job. He's flat out told me if I lose this job or quit, even for another job, he'll throw me out. No pressure. My only salvation is that for the last two weeks is that the shop has been closed due to a lack of work. Another thing keeping me down is that I'm in love with this girl who doesn't feel the same way about me. So, we're friends. Great. Doesn't change how I feel about her and she's moving to Iowa for two years for college. I can only hope that I'll either get over her while she's gone or with some grace of God she'll realize "Hey, let me give him a shot." I don't see either being very likely. I don't drink often, I don't drug it up, I hate clubs and most bars, and internet dating has been nothing short of a joke for me. My social activity revolves around my small circle of friends. My ability to meet people is severely limited by that since I guess I've got a mild case of social anxiety. I'm completely stuck in my shell if I know no one at a place. I know there are people that have it worse than me. I realize that, but logic doesn't always apply to emotions. Anyone else go through times like these? What helps you through it? Right now I'm doing whatever I can to escape from reality... which is really not healthy.