It's me or the Transformers...

Discussion in 'Transformers Toy Discussion' started by changepas39, Nov 30, 2011.

  1. changepas39

    changepas39 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2009
    Posts:
    700
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    111
    Likes:
    +1
    Has anyone every had their former/current significant other ask this dreaded question?

    I actually just had this happen to me and my reply was simply....you have a decision to make don't you.

    I said no one should ever be asked to give up something they love so much. I said they are a part of me and we are a packaged deal. Sadly this has resulted in a break-up.

    I understand if it was an unhealthy obsession for example I spent all my money on purchasing Transformers and was not paying rent, bills, etc.

    I can't help but think am I right or wrong in saying what I said.
     
  2. Boy Blunder

    Boy Blunder Hasbrown'd

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Posts:
    5,340
    Trophy Points:
    202
    Likes:
    +39
    As long as it's not something that impedes your ability to pay bills or lead an average, healthy(?) lifestyle, I would say it's not a problem that needs to be given up.

    The worst I've gotten from my fiancee was 'You need to cut down your collection. We're running out of room, and I know you've bought some just for the sake of buying.' She was right, and honestly, I think it turned out for the best :D 
     
  3. XxGeck0xX

    XxGeck0xX デストロン 情報

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2009
    Posts:
    939
    News Credits:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +8
    Honestly you were right to say that and it seems as though you know when it's good to collect and when not too. I have a question though, didn't your significant other know from the start you collected Transformers?
     
  4. changepas39

    changepas39 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2009
    Posts:
    700
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    111
    Likes:
    +1
    Yes from the very start...sadly 4 years ago.
     
  5. Grimlock_13

    Grimlock_13 Rattrap Teabag

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Posts:
    24,044
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    362
    Location:
    Boise, ID
    Likes:
    +637
    Exactly. My wife tolerates my collecting, she just gets upset because I've completely run out of shelf space and my collection room has gotten VERY cluttered. As soon as I finish turning our garage into a man cave I'll get the Transformers out there, build more shelves and she'll be back to just making fun of me for being a nerd every once in awhile ;) 
     
  6. Valkysas

    Valkysas Attack Buffalo

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2003
    Posts:
    20,808
    News Credits:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    317
    Likes:
    +28
    Your hobbies are a part of who you are. Asking you to discard them is an awful thing to do.

    How would she like the same ultimatum thrown at her about her favorite hobby?
     
  7. exomega255

    exomega255 Emerald Green

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Posts:
    9,695
    News Credits:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    192
    Likes:
    +22
    Depends on why and what led her to say that to you.

    If you neglected necesscities such as paying bills, saving up for your (and her) future, etc, she has the right to ask. Have she urged you before giving the ultimatum? It sounds like she might have.

    Also, if because of transformers, you do not give her the time she needs from you to have a relationship (this is a necesscity. ), then she has the right to ask this of you.
     
  8. daytimeninja

    daytimeninja Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2011
    Posts:
    1,767
    News Credits:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    126
    Likes:
    +7
    As long as you aren't putting yourself in financial trouble and you're still thinking/paying attention to her, there's no right for her to give you an ultimatum.

    If I were you I'd chalk it up as something positive that you got out of it when you did and move on!
     
  9. Goaliebot

    Goaliebot All Makes and Models

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2006
    Posts:
    3,742
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    262
    Likes:
    +1,800
    As you say you are being responsible with the spending and space and time it takes up, then you made the right call. Not that plastic toys are worth more than love, but rather that if she was willing to put an ultimatum down on this, then what's next? She wouldn't likely stop there and would instead turn on the next thing you liked. Basically you were in for a lifetime of fights over any hobby or outlet you had: sports, videogames, etc.

    My wife of 14 years isn't a TF fan herself at all, but likes how much I enjoy my hobby and the only limits she puts on it are 1) don't overspend, 2) don't turn into a TF horder (buying "just because") and 3) keep it contained to my man-cave.

    With the facts presented as you've laid them out, I'd say you dodged a bullet here, even if it might not feel like it right now. Hang in there and a girl will come into your life who my not like Transformers, but likes what makes you happy (within reason).
     
  10. LegoTFGuy

    LegoTFGuy Master Builder

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2011
    Posts:
    10,748
    Trophy Points:
    257
    Likes:
    +161
    Transformer collecting is a hobby, just like collecting baseball cards or anything else really. Your hobbies and interests are part of who you are; for someone to ask you to get rid of them is basically asking you to get rid of a part of who you are.

    I, for one, think you made the right choice.
     
  11. igniz1984

    igniz1984 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Posts:
    2,047
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    207
    Likes:
    +5
    Ebay:
    Snip-Misread op post.
     
  12. Strarf

    Strarf Toy Battles Reloaded TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Posts:
    7,618
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    277
    Location:
    Indiana
    Likes:
    +274
    But that's not the case. He said he could understand if that was the case, but it isn't.
     
  13. vm-01

    vm-01 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2010
    Posts:
    2,565
    Trophy Points:
    172
    Likes:
    +51
    Sorry to hear that.

    It's not just a financial commitment. Sounds like she wasn't feeling like she was number 1 all the time.

    If you feel that your hobby did not interfere with you giving her the time and attention she deserved then you were right to defend yourself. But only you can know the answer to that.
     
  14. igniz1984

    igniz1984 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Posts:
    2,047
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    207
    Likes:
    +5
    Ebay:
    ops misread that :lol  yeah ignore my post. You did the right thing. No one should have to choose between things you love.
     
  15. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Posts:
    24,389
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    367
    Likes:
    +1,349
    On the other hand, if your significant other felt that your collecting was a higher priority in your life than your relationship with her, its understandable she wouldn't be down with that. And seeing as you chose your toys over her, she was probably right.

    Noone likes to feel like they don't matter as much to the person they love as a few pieces of plastic and metal.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2011
  16. Transbot90210

    Transbot90210 Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2002
    Posts:
    14,849
    News Credits:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    236
    Likes:
    +7
    Everyone assumes she was a saint. You can't please some woman and some ask for 100% of your attention which is needy and greedy.

    Never give a loved one an ultimatum, unless it deals with drugs or other dangerous life killing things. Tfs are not such a thing. I'd she had said your dog or me, would that be different?

    She was with u for four years so either u r a swell guy or she has a high tolerance for misery. I don't know either of you nor your relationship so I have no answer there.

    Its not real love when you only accept the pieces of the person u like. We all have our pros and cons and love takes them all. As others have mentioned, u dodged a bullet with her. She was just out to take away your joy.


    Enjoy singledom for now the right one eventually shows up.
     
  17. wolfe

    wolfe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2007
    Posts:
    5,860
    Trophy Points:
    226
    Likes:
    +1
    Ebay:
    As someone said in another thread (wish I could remember who) buy her a pair of shoes? Or something else that she really loves.
     
  18. CURAMEN

    CURAMEN LOS ANGELES COLLECTIVE

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Posts:
    2,693
    News Credits:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    207
    Likes:
    +7
    WIN
     
  19. UnicronFTW

    UnicronFTW Don't blink.

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2009
    Posts:
    5,389
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    191
    Likes:
    +2
    I say that if you're getting the bills paid, then she doesn't have any room to talk.
    And this.
     
  20. Wyvern

    Wyvern Velvet Sanchez

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2003
    Posts:
    8,364
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    226
    Likes:
    +5
    Damn, sorry to hear about the break up. Was there really no compromise?
     

Share This Page