Imagine a world

Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by TheDemonDzko, Mar 31, 2012.

  1. TheDemonDzko

    TheDemonDzko °-{[●□●]}-° {Beep. Boop.)

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Posts:
    2,696
    Trophy Points:
    167
    Likes:
    +5
    Where Uwe Bowle directed the first Transformers movie... and was still kept on for two sequels. What would the movies be about? How different would they be?
     
  2. roccondil5

    roccondil5 sculptor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Posts:
    540
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    It would have random cuts to clips of the G1 show!

    It would be a masterpiece! (sarcasm is wonderfull...)
     
  3. Shatterpoint

    Shatterpoint Neato

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2009
    Posts:
    7,150
    News Credits:
    48
    Trophy Points:
    212
    Likes:
    +73
    Three "Funny Version" alternate cuts.

    All filled with more Twins, wrecking balls, leaking lubricant, Dick von Blenderbot, Jerry Wang, bot-on-leg action and pantsless John Turturro ass-shots than ever before.
     
  4. Overlord Balder

    Overlord Balder Voices Slugslinger!

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2011
    Posts:
    6,306
    Trophy Points:
    176
    Likes:
    +5
    Imagine a movie. The most terrifying movie you can, and then imagine that you and you alone have the director chair. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such movie? It is at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience; for whom the ends always justify the means and it is he who suggests that their target should not be the fandom's tastes but rather the fandom itself. Three targets are chosen to maximize the effect of the attack: The plot, the acting, and the special effects. Several hundred of fans die within the first few weeks. Until at last the true goal comes into view. Before the the movie's crisis, no one would have predicted the outcome of the Hall of Fame elections. No one. But after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believed that it was the work of Primus himself, but it was a toymaking company controlled by certain Hasbro executives made them all obscenely rich. But the true genius of the plan was the money. A year later, Uwe Boll is tried, found guilty, and executed while a memorial is built to canonize his victims. Money became the ultimate tool of this franchise. And through it our executive was ultimately appointed to the newly created position of High Executive. The rest, as they say, is history.

    [+2 internet points for who get the reference].
     
  5. StacyGrsley

    StacyGrsley Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2012
    Posts:
    439
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Likes:
    +0
    A robot version battlefield earth.
    In other words, hell on film.
     
  6. StacyGrsley

    StacyGrsley Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2012
    Posts:
    439
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Likes:
    +0
    Yeah...exept it would be 90% less than the total there are now.
     
  7. bonycrushy345

    bonycrushy345 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2008
    Posts:
    263
    Trophy Points:
    76
    Likes:
    +0
    I don't know why, but when I read the title the first thing that came to my mind was the "I had a vision of a world without the Batman..." speech from The Joker in The Dark Knight.
     
  8. IaconStargazer

    IaconStargazer Maximal

    Joined:
    May 4, 2011
    Posts:
    1,036
    Trophy Points:
    137
    Location:
    Indiana
    Likes:
    +5
    I'm not exactly sure on the story (though it'd probably be ten times more stupid and awful than what any of the haters think of Bay's films), but if word got out that another director or someone else kind of big in Hollywood thought Boll's TF films were dumb, he'd challenge the critic to a boxing match or some idiocy like that.
     
  9. skiss

    skiss Crash and Burn

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Posts:
    2,631
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +2
    Ebay:
    Megan Fox would of had a heavy sex scene to distract from the terrible movie.

    And Grimlock would have a Giant JP tattoo'd on his T-rex thigh.
     
  10. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Posts:
    10,629
    News Credits:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    217
    Likes:
    +16
    Who?
     
  11. Autovolt 127

    Autovolt 127 Get In The Titan, Prime!

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Posts:
    82,270
    News Credits:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    412
    Likes:
    +670
    Steven Sepilberg, Peter Jackson, James Cameron and Brad Bird all Colaberated and made the best damn Transformers film ever made.
     
  12. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Posts:
    24,226
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    367
    Likes:
    +1,100
    If Uwe Boll directed the film there'd be a lot of "unique" camera perspectives, a ton of shots cribbed from other movies, far inferior special effects, and a story even more meandering and schizophrenic than the lowest point of anything we've seen so far. But the budget would be way smaller, and Uwe would have to spend most of his time literally boxing people who criticize his films.
     

Share This Page