Hey guys, normally I don't do this, but all the googling and researching has given me migraines... Here's the problem: a good friend of mine is living at home. Her mother has a housekeeper who is anything but a legal citizen. Said housekeeper has a nasty habit of "losing" my friend's stuff (and now her sister's belongings too). The mother thinks of the housekeeper as family and actually treats her better than either of her daughters. My friend is suffering, her sister is suffering, and her sister's two children are suffering. Here's where things get a BIT dicey. The sister is currently going through a NASTY divorce (the guy was a complete asshat to her, but decent to the kids.. anyway). Is there anyway that having an illegal immigrant could be used against her in the divorce? Also, if the housekeeper were to be arrested and deported due to an anonymous tip, what are the ramifications that could happen to the family?
divorce, and illegal imagration are two the most touchy subject in the world and my advice would be to just leave this alone, or at very least be very careful. if you dont have to get mixed up in that drama, DONT!
Tread lightly my friend. This is something you don't want to get involved with. I know you love them, but sometimes the best thing to do is leave it up to them. As hard as it is to do, that is the best thing for both them and you.
Seems a bit of an underhanded way of dealing with the problem. I'd be upfront about it. Theft is good enough grounds for immediate dismissal. A warning would be more than fair. This business of treating employees as if they're family or friends, it doesn't do anyone any good. The difficult part is going to be dealing with the mother, with the whole mother-daughter dynamic.
If the house keeper was employed by her mother before she moved in I doubt it could be used against her but , I am no Lawyer so i could be wrong. as for ramifications the mother could get in trouble for knowingly hiring her as long as your friend's name is no whereon any paper work for hiring or paying her I would think she would be in the clear.
I don't see how having a housekeeper could be used against you in a Divorce case, legal or otherwise..... As far as tips go.... how well do you know these people? People do tend to exaggerate problems and i'm guessing, you would be the snitch. Your overstepping your boundaries big time on this one... Leave it alone, a divorce is hard and you jumping in to ruin more lives isn't the best thing to do.
When I saw the title of this thread, the first thing I thought was "I'm on a boat!". I need some macros now dammit. By the way, answer to your post. "I didn't know she didn't have papers" or something like that.
I'm very close with my friend... and I've been witness to stuff disappearing within 20 minutes. This has been an ongoing issue to the point where after doing a tally of things missing, my friend alone has had over $1000 of belongings "misplaced" by the housekeeper. When confronted about it, she'll say she forgets where she puts it. The situation bothers me on a LOT of levels, so I've been weighing my options, ya know? The mother does this a lot too. I think this is their 3rd or 4th house keeper, all of which were illegal and shipped in. The first went back to her home, the second got married, the third just up and disappeared, and now they have this winner.
I would say..... leave it alone still. If the house keeper is as bad as you say she is, i'm sure the mother would of stepped in by now. It just sounds sketchy to me, do what you must but don't be surprised when everyone ends up turning on you.
Look up immigration in the blue pages and leave an "anonymous tip". They're the ones who are doing wrong, why should you feel guilty about doing the right thing? I don't know if this would qualify, but with certain crimes, you could get in trouble for not reporting a crime if you knew about it... I could only see the mother as the employer being the one in trouble though.
Bingo....... EDIT: LOL come to think about it... how are the immigration laws there? I know some states will fine the shit out of you if they know you willingly employed illegal (A term I hate by the way) immigrants. So.. if you point the finger, I hope you got some cash to pony up for the fine.
I'd urge the friend and her sister to report the thefts. The police would take care of the rest. Otherwise, you should not do anything unless you actually SEE something happen or something of yours disappears. That honestly sounds like an effed up situation anyway. --Moony
Thansk Ops And thanks guys... I'm just gonna bite my tongue on this for a little while longer until the sister's divorce is final... and by then, who knows. maybe the situation will have fixed itself.
Install a tracking device in some small item or another that looks valuable, and wait until it comes up 'misplaced.' Mom won't have much of a choice not to believe that 'family' is stealing, then. and will hopefully have the right amount of 'How could she betray my trust?!' Plus...illegal immigrant is illegal.
