I'm gonna hack you!!!1111

Ra88 · Oct 27, 2006

Quintesson #1 pointed this out. I just have to share this; it's too damned funny.

This is a transcript of the worlds dummest hacker on an IRC channel. The original can be found here: http://www.jellyslab.com/~bteo/hacker.htm

The comments are not mine, they belong to the original poster of the dialogue.

quote:

* *spoon* ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* *spoon* ([email protected]) has joined #stopHipHop
<*spoon*> why do you kick me
<*spoon*> can't you discus normally
<*spoon*> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * *spoon* ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<*spoon*> what ping man
<*spoon*> the timing of my pc is right
<*spoon*> i even have dst
<*spoon*> you banned me
<*spoon*> amit it you son of a *spoon*
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> *spoon* you're stupid, DST^^
<*spoon*> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<*spoon*> for two weaks already
<*spoon*> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<*spoon*> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<*spoon*> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<*spoon*> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<*spoon*> shut up you'll be gone
<*spoon*> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<*spoon*> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<*spoon*> to you man
<*spoon*> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* *spoon* ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

quote:

* *spoon* ([email protected]) has joined #stopHipHop
<*spoon*> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> *spoon*: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<*spoon*> you're so stupid man
<*spoon*> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<*spoon*> buy buy elch
* *spoon* ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

quote:

* *spoon* ([email protected]) has joined #stopHipHop
<*spoon*> elch you son of a *spoon*
<Metanot> *spoon* how old are you?
<Elch> What's up *spoon*?
<*spoon*> you have a frie wal
<*spoon*> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<*spoon*> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<*spoon*> because your *spoon* fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<*spoon*> be a man turn that *spoon* off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<*spoon*> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes *spoon* is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he *spoon* if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<*spoon*> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<*spoon*> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<He> *spoon* give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<*spoon*> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he *spoon* why turn it off, you should turn it off
<*spoon*> you're afraid
<*spoon*> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<*spoon*> elch turn off your *spoon* wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<*spoon*> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<*spoon*> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<*spoon*> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.

quote:

<Elch> *spoon*, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> *spoon* can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<*spoon*> wort man
<Elch> *spoon*: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<*spoon*> man do you want a virus
<*spoon*> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<*spoon*> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<*spoon*> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

quote:

<*spoon*> don't need to rescue you can't son of a *spoon*
<Elch> that's bad
<*spoon*> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<*spoon*> and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. *spoon* was comforting me with a music tip.

quote:

<*spoon*> tupac rules
<*spoon*> elch you son of a *spoon* your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted....

Or isn't it happening on my computer?

quote:

<*spoon*> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<*spoon*> your d: is gone
<He> go on *spoon*

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! *spoon* turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

quote:

<*spoon*> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<*spoon*> i'm already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?

quote:

* *spoon* ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "*spoon*". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.
Click to expand...

Q1 found it here: http://forums.station.sony.com/ps/posts/list.m?topic_id=88000003891

EDIT: On second thought, this might be more suited for The Fuzzy World...So if a mod feels it belongs there, go ahead.

Dirge121 · Oct 27, 2006

Haha, so the guy ended up wiping his own Hard Drive, what a moron!!

Night Flame · Oct 27, 2006

Pure awesome. We had a tech in from IBM once to look at one of our OS/400 systems and figure out why it wasn't getting on the network properly. First thing he does?

PING 127.0.0.1

When he got a response he started putting away his stuff and getting ready to leave because, "It has to be on the network. It's getting a response from an IP address."

But that is one stupid-ass hacker. Probably somebody who knew an actual hacker and got a disc of utilities from them, but had no clue what the heck to do with them.

rattrap007 · Oct 27, 2006

I am oblivious to all things hacking and *I* am smarter than that...

MegaMoonMan · Oct 27, 2006

That's friggin' hilarious. If only more "hackers" would off themselves in such a way.

Optimus-JD · Oct 27, 2006

That dude has mad skillz.

llamatron · Oct 27, 2006

An oldie but a goodie.

rattrap007 · Oct 27, 2006

Optimus-JD said:

That dude has bad skillz.
Click to expand...

There fixed it for ya...

Nevermore · Oct 27, 2006

Even if I hadn't known it before, I could still tell that this was originally written in German and then translated into English. There are still some German idioms in there.

Still good, though.

KA · Oct 27, 2006

teehee too funny to be real

Methos · Oct 27, 2006

lmao,This isn't the first time some noob tryed to play hacker.

Ops_was_a_truck · Oct 27, 2006

That's pretty good.

Chaos Muffin · Oct 27, 2006

lol

"Ill kill you"
*shoots self in eye*

Night Flame · Oct 28, 2006

No, CM. It's more like,

*PICKS UP GUN*

I'LL KILL YOU! Now, which direction do I point this thing?

*VICTIM* Uh, with the round thing pointing towards your face.

HAHAHA! YOU'RE SO STUPID! NEVER TELL A KILLER HOW TO USE HIS WEAPON!

*BLAM*

You're lucky my gun backfired, or you'd be dead.
Click to expand...

Belgrath · Oct 28, 2006

That's hilarious.

Nerd Bomber · Oct 30, 2006

http://futuremark.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23914&highlight

friend just sent me this one, it's too good. Some kid tries to steal someone's warcraft account

Ra88 · Oct 31, 2006

Nerd Bomber said:

http://futuremark.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23914&highlight

friend just sent me this one, it's too good. Some kid tries to steal someone's warcraft account
Click to expand...

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dude pleas

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Go mow some yards, bitch.
Click to expand...

Priceless.

Dark_Convoy · Oct 31, 2006

Nerd Bomber said:

http://futuremark.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23914&highlight

friend just sent me this one, it's too good. Some kid tries to steal someone's warcraft account
Click to expand...

That is the funniest thing I have read all week!

RandomFerret · Oct 31, 2006

'Script kiddie' would be a compliment to Spoony von Tardbot there.

Ops_was_a_truck · Oct 31, 2006

Wow. That second one is ruthless, but incredibly hilarious.

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I'm gonna hack you!!!1111

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I'm gonna hack you!!!1111

Ra88 Dutchman!

Dirge121 I'll be your end of days

Night Flame TFW2005 Supporter

rattrap007 One meme mutha f’er TFW2005 Supporter

MegaMoonMan OFFICIAL MMM REP

Optimus-JD Team Laser Explosion!

llamatron OFFICIAL MMC REP TFW2005 Supporter

rattrap007 One meme mutha f’er TFW2005 Supporter

Nevermore It's self-perpetuating a parahumanoidarianised!

KA Well-Known Member

Methos ...Hail Megatron

Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

Night Flame TFW2005 Supporter

Belgrath Boom! Nutshot!

Nerd Bomber Consulting your needs

Ra88 Dutchman!

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Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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